Operation LOST
by raya96
Summary: Set three years after the GKND video, the decommissioned members of Sector V discover they share a mysterious past and a secret that could change everything. Updates IN PROGRESS!
1. Chapter 1 Fragments

**Operation L.O.S.T.**

 **L** ongtime

 **O** peratives

 **S** uddenly

 **T** eens

Set three years after the GKND video, the decommissioned members of Sector V discover they share a mysterious past and a secret that could change everything.

\- Post-GKND video and pre-adult INTERVIEWS

\- A Kids Next Door decom with 3x4, 2x5, and some other random goodies

\- Slightly AU because they're teenagers. But otherwise, all characters are canon. Except one. Props if you can figure out who ;)

\- rated T for language, mild violence, mild suggestive content

AN: Is it customary to have an author's note? Well, here's one! Anyways, enjoy the story!

Also, you should watch the G:KND video if you haven't yet... it's on YouTube... :P

* * *

 **Chapter 1. Fragments**

* * *

 **~1~ Trouble at the Bus Stop**

"Do you ever feel like you're forgetting something?"

The man peered down from a scruffy mustache, frowning at Nigel's question.

"No."

"Well, I don't mean in like the oops-I-forgot-to-pack-my-toothbrush kind of way, more in the I-feel-like-I-used-to-be-different-and-now-I-don't-know-who-I-am-anymore kind of way. D'you ever feel like that?"

The man squinted at Nigel, his old stubbly face like a potato trying hard to concentrate.

"No."

"Ah, well." Nigel sighed and spilled out a handful of coins onto the counter to pay for his Chewy Pellets. The man scratched his coarse face.

"Look, kid, I'm just a guy who sells snacks at a bus station, but here's some advice. Don't ask so many questions."

"I'm not a kid," Nigel said angrily and took his Chewy Pellets.

What was he then, a dumb teenager? A loser with no friends? That's what he felt like, and that's what he got treated like at school.

Even though he was a nobody, Nigel still dreamt about wild and impossible things, like battling monsters, exploring outer space, talking to enormous cats with blades on their tales. _Dreams from a past life_ , he told himself with his eyes closed, lying on a bench, resting his head on his backpack. _One where I'm not such a nobody_.

Maybe that's why he was so eager to follow that mysterious message that appeared in his mailbox one day. It was a slip of paper that said, If you want to know about the Kids Next Door, come to this address, and then it listed an address at some nearby university. At first, Nigel thought it was sent to him by accident- he wasn't exactly cool enough to be chosen for any kind of secret organization- but part of him was hoping it was. He wanted to be somebody. Somebody who could make a difference.

Or fight crime.

Maybe save the world.

 _Yeah, something like that_ , he smiled to himself as he waited for his bus to arrive.

Suddenly, cold fingers curled around his wrist.

"Where are you going?"

Nigel was half expecting to see his parents, but it wasn't them. It was a boy his age, tall and mousy-haired, who looked like a skinny mushroom.

"What do you want?" said Nigel, trying to twist his arm free. "Who are you?"

The boy didn't let go. "Come with me, Nigel."

"How do you know my name? ...Are you from the Kids Next Door?"

The boy shuddered at that question. "I know a lot of things about you, Nigel," he said. "Come with me and I'll explain everything. I'll explain who you really are."

Nigel stop struggling for a second. He didn't have any reason to trust that slip of paper any more than this teenager. But there was something really weird and creepy about this boy, and Nigel just couldn't shake that feeling.

The boy looked down at Nigel, and Nigel caught a brief glimpse of two crystal blue eyes that chilled him to his core. He knew those eyes.

"No!" he yelled, but the boy tightened his grip.

"Don't go asking questions about the Kids Next Door, Nigel. You won't like what you find," said the boy and twisted Nigel's arm even harder.

Nigel shouted in pain. Why was nobody doing anything? All the adults seemed to be completely ignoring the fact that he was getting attacked.

The boy reached for Nigel's other arm, but Nigel smacked it away with the side of his palm.

The boy growled. This time, he swung his arm around Nigel's neck and pulled him down, choking him.

"Uh-arrrgh!" Nigel doubled-over as fast as he could and flung the boy over his shoulder, who crashed into the ground with a thump. He let go of Nigel's wrist.

Just then, Nigel's bus pulled up, and the driver looked at Nigel, then at the boy on the ground, then back at Nigel, and shrugged. Nigel grabbed his knapsack and sprinted on, glancing over his shoulder. The boy was still lying on the ground.

He was shaken, but impressed that he'd gotten out of that chokehold. Defending himself had come naturally to him, as though he'd been in hundreds of fights before.

The bus sputtered and trundled away as Nigel stared out the dirty speckled window, and he couldn't help feeling that he had stumbled across something that was a lot more sinister and complicated than it seemed.

* * *

 **~4~ Don't Touch Me**

In the schoolyard, freshman boys scurried across the grass out of his way. Even the upperclassmen boys would stiffen and avoid eye contact with him, though the occasional upperclassmen girl would tilt her head and flip her long ponytail, watching him with thin steely eyes, before being lured back into conversation by one of the boys determined not to acknowledge Wally's existence.

Wally was used to it. Being simultaneously stared at and purposefully _not_ being stared at. It was like the other students couldn't decide whether they were afraid of him or in awe of him.

He walked across the grass, fresh cut and still covered in morning dew, brushing past a freshman. The boy stared at Wally, sour-faced, sandy-freckled, with a massive overbite. He looked like a chipmunk trying to give Wally the stink-eye.

It was easier when they glared at him. It almost gave him a reason to do what he did.

"Oi." said Wally, flatly.

That freshman Harvey scowled at him. "What? I didn't do nothing. _Idiot_." He muttered the last word under his breath.

"Say that again." Wally grasped the neck of the boy's maroon sweater.

"Don't you dare touch me," scowled the boy. "I could take you. My sister knows aikido, and I've watched her do stuff, so you better leave me alone!"

"Shut up, brat. Give me your lunch money." He held a finger from his free hand just above Harvey's nose, and the little freshman glared at it, sweating. "Give me your lunch money," Wally repeated, "and I won't touch you."

Harvey gnashed his teeth. "No!" he yelled, and tried to sucker-punch him in the stomach, but Wally was too fast for him.

In one swift motion, he had let go of Harvey's shirt, caught his outstretched fist, and twisted his arm behind the freshman's back. And he still had one finger above Harvey's face, which he now lowered and gingerly booped Harvey on the nose, as if he were playing with a kitten.

Harvey went nuts. He screamed and thrashed and kicked, but Wally had a grip so tight on him, he couldn't do anything and eventually just tired himself out.

"Fine," Harvey spat, panting. "Take it." He grabbed his backpack and unzipped a pouch, pulling out a few crumpled dollar bills and some coins.

Wally took the money and jammed it into his pocket, letting go of Harvey's arm. He walked away, not saying another word.

"You're a terrible person, you know that?" shouted Harvey behind him, rubbing his arm. "You're nothing but a stupid bully!"

Wally bristled but didn't turn back.

Something else caught his attention up ahead. Through the slats of the fence around the pool, he saw something dark in the shimmering water, and he realized it was a person, just floating there. Was there actually a dead body in the school's pool?

Curious, he jogged over.

* * *

 **~3x4~ Move.**

Ten minutes earlier...

There was something green in the water.

It looked kinda gross, if you asked Kuki, like a ball of green snot floating in the pool. To see what it was, she'd have to get into the pool for a closer look.

Suddenly, she got the urge to jump into the pool.

That was a stupid urge. Where did she come up with that? The pool was probably freezing this early in the morning, and she had another wonderful day at school to get to. She was kinda popular, she had friends, her grades were okay. So why did it feel like the water was pulling her in?

There was something in the black depths of the water, a pale image, translucent, like a ghost sitting in darkness, alone.

 _Come into the water_ , said the ghost, pale and white and frozen, like a little porcelain doll. _Come into the pool._

"No," said Kuki aloud, though nobody was around. "I don't want to. That looks lonely." Why would she jump into a freezing pool? She couldn't be late to class, she had to keep up her good grades. Even if her grades weren't good enough for parents. Her friends would be waiting for her. Maybe. Even though they only hung out with her because they felt sorry for her.

 _This is where you belong,_ said the ghost. _Don't you know? I'm you._

Kuki gasped. The ghost was a pale reflection of her, curled up, crying alone in the darkness, just like from her nightmares. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the ghost wouldn't go away. The ghost was sitting in her head, in the dark spaces of her mind, alone and crying. The ghost was her.

She fell.

Her body plunged into the water, where it was calm and quiet, the school bell muffled. Her eyes opened halfway into little slits, drinking in the dark, rippling depths, her muscles frozen still. She had to move but had no energy. Maybe she should float just a little bit longer.

Her lungs started to hurt. Ok, now it was time to go. _Move_ , she told herself. _Get out of the pool_. Dark shadows rippled through the water. _On the count of three, I'm going to move._

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._

She didn't move.

But she was _going_ to move, she had to get out of the pool! Her head was a big black cloud. _Just move_. Her lungs screamed for air. _Move_! She didn't want this. She didn't want to be alone anymore. She wanted to get out! But she just couldn't move. Blackness trickled over her eyes.

Her waist was grabbed by a hook and then she was jerked out of the water. Her lungs exploded, gasped at the sweet, sweet air, the sunlight blinded her. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever experienced.

The hook turned out to be an arm that raised her over the pool edge and lay her down, followed by a boy climbing out.

She was dizzy, vaguely aware of the boy pushing back wet bangs out of his eyes, and then the wet bangs out of her eyes, curious to see if she was alive. Her skin prickled, either from the cold or from his hand on her forehead, she couldn't tell.

Kuki gazed up at her golden savior, his blond hair glowing like an angel in the morning light. She coughed and smiled at him between gasps of air.

The angel looked back down at her.

"-the crud is wrong with you?"

Wally was no angel. His overgrown blonde hair dripped water down his face and he wrung out his T-shirt, scowling at the girl he had just pulled out of the pool.

What kind of idiot jumps into a pool, fully clothed, in the cold, and then just floats there? When he first saw her, he thought she was dead.

"Oi! You stupid, or something?"

She sat up, smiled like an idiot, and shook her head.

"I was about to get out," she lied. She grinned nervously and her teeth started chattering in the cold.

"Hold on, do we know each other?" He squinted at her and suddenly felt the urge to tell her something really important, but he couldn't remember what it was. "Nah, nevermind…"

"Th-thank you. Wow. Breathing has never felt so good," Kuki said, taking a deep breath and coughing, and she meant it.

"Whatever." He grabbed his backpack and jacket from beside the pool, where he'd dropped them before jumping into the water. The late bell had already rung and it was going to be one more tardy on his rap sheet.

The girl stood up, dripping, shivering, heading slowly towards the classrooms. She looked pathetic and cold.

He was about to put on his jacket, but hesitated.

Crud. She looked like she needed it more than he did.

He threw his jacket at her and ran away.

* * *

 **~2~ Two Bad Eggs**

"Cha! Yeah!"

Hoagie thrust his hips out in time with the music.

"Uh-tiss! Uh-huh!"

He grabbed a wrench and spun around, ear buds in his ears. He flopped down onto his creeper and pulled himself underneath his car, where he kept humming aloud while tinkering with his wrench.

He pushed himself back out, used his wrench as an air guitar for an especially exciting Scumbucket Punks guitar solo, and struck a dramatic pose at the end of it.

"Nice dance moves."

The wrench clattered to the ground and Hoagie quickly popped the ear buds out of his ears.

At the entrance to the garage stood two tittering girls. One had poofy blonde hair pulled into pigtails and vaguely resembled a poodle. The other had short plain hair and a plain face. The blonde one called Valerie grinned and whispered something to her friend Marybeth.

He grinned back sheepishly at his two classmates. "Heh-hey ladies."

The two girls glanced at each other, and then Valerie stepped into the garage. "Niiice ride," she said, looking at Hoagie's small two-seater car, running her fingers along its metal frame. Marybeth followed her shyly.

He beamed, leaning against the hood. "You like? I built her myself!"

"Wow," said Marybeth unenthusiastically.

"That's the _chassis_ ," Hoagie said, pointing to the metal exterior Valerie was touching.

She opened her mouth in fake surprise. "Chay-see? Oh, pleeease, tell me more!" Marybeth scrunched her brows and tried not to laugh.

Hoagie stood up proudly, excited to have visitors. "Well, it's like the skeleton of the car. Chassis is actually French for frame!"

The girls giggled again. Hoagie didn't know what was so funny, but he was glad they were having such a good time. "You know," he said leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his yellow glasses, "It's fully road legal. You'd have to take turns, but I could give you girls a ride in it."

Marybeth let out a snort and clapped a hand over her mouth. Valerie, on the other hand, leaned into Hoagie, batting her eyes at him. "You know what…" she whispered, slowly forming the words with a pink puckered mouth.

Hoagie grinned.

"NOW!" she yelled.

The two girls reached into their bags and each pulled out a fat white egg, and then simultaneously smashed their raw eggs over Hoagie's gray cap and shrieked. Valerie grabbed Marybeth's hand and they raced out the garage door, laughing breathlessly.

"S-sorry!" yelled Marybeth, still giggling, not sounding sorry at all.

"Loser!" yelled Valerie as the girls fled laughing into the night. "Who'd ever wanna hang out with you?"

Hoagie hadn't moved from beside his car.

Cold egg whites dribbled down the side of his head. Honestly, he didn't know what else he had been expecting.

He stared quietly out into the ugly black night and let the eggs drip, drip, drip all down his face.

* * *

 **~5~ The Treehouse**

"We found it."

What they found was an enormous oak tree, gnarled and shabby, but not as shabby as the treehouse in its branches. Perhaps "shabby" was not the best way to describe this treehouse, maybe "forsaken" or "destroyed" was better, because this treehouse looked like it had been attacked a long time ago and then completely abandoned. In fact, the whole treehouse was ripped apart into two halves, as if something huge and powerful had torn it right down the middle.

They snuck up into its wooden remains and Lenny looked around warily. He wondered how Abby had found this place. Like everyone else from Sector V, she was supposed to be decommissioned.

"See?" Abby pointed at chipped yellow paint on the walls. "The letters K, N, D. I'm swear I'm not crazy, the Kids Next Door is real!"

"I've always believed you," said Lenny. "I'm not like the other kids at school who make fun of you. You can trust me."

The treehouse looked like nobody had been there in many years. Everything was either broken or covered in dust.

On the floor, a stuffed bunny with stuffing spilling out of its stomach. Broken and frayed wires dangling from the ceiling. Dark splotches all over the floor and walls, which looked an awful lot like-

"Look," said Lenny, interrupting Abby's thoughts. "A computer. Let's see if it still works."

He tapped its keys. Abby scoured the debris next door and something caught her eye. Out of the wreckage she pulled out two wooden planks held together with magnets and springs. It was heavy and seemed like it could seriously hurt somebody if used the right way. She liked it. She put it into her knapsack when Lenny wasn't looking.

Lenny called out. "It won't start without a password. Abby, what do you think a bunch of 10-year-olds would use as a password?"

"Probably something all 10-year-olds love, like _rainbow munchies_." Abby jutted out her hip, waiting for a response. "Well, is it working?"

"Umm, nope," said Lenny as he joined her in the room next door. "Guess there's nothing left for us to see. We should go, you can leave this way."

He motioned towards a doorway, and Abby went through it, walking out onto what used to be a balcony, but now was burnt and turned to charcoal.

"Careful," said Abby, stopping, and held out a hand to keep Lenny from following her. The blackened wood in front of Abby crumbled into the dark nothingness below. "No Lenny, we can't leave this way. It's unstable."

"Oh, right, wouldn't want you to fall from here or anything..."

Before turning back, Abby caught the view from the balcony. Yellow lights of quaint suburban houses peppering the blackness below, small and artificial, but above them, the twinkling vastness of outer space, deep and dark and full of mysteries. Abby couldn't help thinking how majestic this treehouse might have once been, at least before it got destroyed.

Suddenly, something fell from the sky onto the balcony with a _plop_.

"Gross, what is that? It looks disgusting," said Lenny. It was a snot-green liquid, and it stuck to the railing, dripping slowly. Abby looked up but couldn't see where it came from.

"What the f-" Abby said before being interrupted by a loud, mechanical whirring coming from the treehouse. She pushed Lenny aside and ran in to find the computer printing out sheets and sheets of paper.

"I thought you said the computer wasn't working!"

"I- I- did I?" Lenny ran up behind her.

Abby grabbed the endless roll of paper shooting out. There was only one message repeated on it, printing over and over and over again.

" _They're coming_ ," read Abby. " _They're coming. Get out_."

Lenny froze.

"Abby, we gotta go! They _know_. They know we're here and they're coming after us!" He stumbled backwards, panicking.

"Wait," said Abby. She pointed at the document. "Look at this date! This message is over three years old."

Lenny didn't stop trembling until he saw the date for himself. Abby glanced around at the forsaken, destroyed treehouse.

"They _were_ coming, three years ago," she corrected. "And by the looks of it, whoever they are, they got here."


	2. Chapter 2 Encounters

**Chapter 2. Encounters**

* * *

 **~5x4~ Secret Classroom**

Abby was always carrying secrets, in more ways than one.

Her arms were full of papers and newspaper clippings and little gadgets and books from the library as she walked down the hall during the morning break, and she struggled to open the door to an empty classroom single-handedly. She dropped her massive stack of papers and they slapped onto a desk, when she heard someone curse loudly and drop a piece of chalk across the room.

She was startled; she thought nobody ever came into this room! But no, there was a blond boy at the chalkboard turning around hastily, trying to wipe off chalk dust on his pants.

"What are you doing here during break?" Abby asked him. "Shouldn't you be outside beating up a freshman or something?"

The boy screwed up his face and looked shiftily at the door. "I'm not doing nothing," he blurted out, and stepped sideways to cover up what he was writing on the chalkboard.

"Mmhmm," said Abby, jutting out her hip and placing a hand on it, watching Wally.

He glared at her, then quickly smudged away whatever he'd written and scribbled something else.

Abby squinted at the board. _McClintock High can suck my-_ Ok, she didn't have to read the rest of it to know where this was going. She screwed up her face in disgust.

Wally noticed and sniggered at her, and purposefully bumped into her shoulder as he walked past. What was she gonna do about it? Abby was a freak, the whole school knew that.

Abby grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him down, choking him and making him stumble into a table.

"Don't play with me, boy," she said icily, and Wally scrambled to pull himself up and pull the neck of his shirt away from his throat, staring at her like she was crazy. He was furious but couldn't bring himself to hit a girl standing alone in an empty classroom. He was a bully, but even he had boundaries.

He gave her a rude gesture instead as he walked away, but Abby only smirked.

"You forgot the parentheses."

"What?" said Wally, confused.

"That's why you were getting the wrong answer." She smirked again. "That equation you first wrote on the board? You needed to solve what was inside the parentheses first."

For the briefest moment, Abby could see a spark of something in his eyes, but he quickly corrected himself with a scowl. "Oh shut up, you don't know anything."

"Suit yourself," she shrugged. "But just in case you want Abby's help… she hangs out here after school."

"Why would I ever ask a freak like you for help?" Wally scowled and walked away. Nothing could make him ask _her_ for help.

Abby wasn't quite sure why she had offered her help. She definitely had better things to do than tutoring Wally, such as continuing her research. The new books and paper clippings she brought in were lifted and stacked in a corner on top of other stacks of papers. There must have been two or three stacks of documents total, each piled two feet high in the corner, and it was all of Abby's research concerning the mysterious Kids Next Door. Little gadgets also littered the classroom, broken devices and shiny artifacts and rusty weapons that once belonged to the Kids Next Door. For a decommissioned operative, Ababy Lincoln knew surprisingly a lot about the Kids Next Door.

But she did all of her research in secret, holed up in this abandoned classroom, because her classmates would make fun of her for it. "Crazy Abby," they would say, "What conspiracy theory is the freak up to today?" and then they'd make spooky noises at her and wiggle their fingers, while everyone laughed.

But she believed the Kids Next Door were real, and she believed that it was a secret organization run by children. The Kids Next Door were powerful, they had advanced technology like space travel, they built huge treehouses for their headquarters, and they could even erase people's memories. Until three years ago, when they mysteriously disappeared without a trace.

And Abby had a hunch that it had something to do with the fact that she couldn't remember anything about her life before the day that the Kids Next Door vanished.

* * *

 **~3x4~ You Never Know Who You'll Bump Into**

"So my family like owns this yacht in like the Caribbean," said the boy through a pair of gawky ski goggles. Kuki giggled, running her fingers through her silky black hair. The hand-dryer in the girl's bathroom had done a remarkable job drying her hair, except it had been a little bit awkward when a freshman stumbled into the bathroom and found Kuki crouching and holding her head underneath the hand-dryer.

The boy in the goggles continued talking with his chest puffed out. "It's like, always 30C in the Caribbean. That stands for 30 degrees Celsius, by the way. You should join us on our yacht sometime." He flashed her a grin, and she didn't like the way he was looking at her. He was looking at her as though she was a large, juicy steak that he couldn't wait to devour.

Kuki gave a small laugh to be polite. He grinned even wider.

She glanced up at the hall, hoping a friend would come save her, but it looked like Ashley wasn't out of class yet. The boy held out an arm against the lockers, blocking Kuki's way to the cafeteria, still grinning. The sound of footsteps behind her came like a wave of relief.

"Hey Ashley! I was just looking-"

But when she turned around, it wasn't Ashley. It was Wally, and he looked angry. The boy with the ski goggles suddenly disappeared, and Kuki didn't blame him. You didn't want to get in the way of Wally Beatles, who could crush 16 soda cans with his head and who would bench-press three freshman before school everyday. Or so went the rumors.

"Oi! You!" he shouted at someone in the hall.

Kuki turned and stuffed her books into her locker, then closed the door, but Wally was still standing right behind her. Wait, he wasn't expecting something from _her_ , was he? She gave him a funny look and backed away from him, clutching her pink bento box lunch. He just stood there, staring at her with stony green eyes like two shards of sea glass, looking halfway between bewildered and furious. Maybe he was still mad about having to rescue her from the pool this morning- after all, it was her fault that he got soaked and was late to class.

"STOP!" Wally finally yelled, then reached out and grabbed her arm. Now she squealed, trying to pull free from his grip. She managed to squirm out of his grasp and run backwards.

Wally yelled at her again. "Stop, there's someone behind you!", but it was too late.

She knocked into a large boy who got bumped with a _clang!_ into the lockers. He spun around and shouted. "Who pushed me!?" Ernest's eyes darted towards Kuki, who gave a nervous, choked laugh. But Ernest was still looking at her furiously and she paled. "Oh no, oh my gosh, that was totally my f-"

"Maybe you shouldn't stand in my way, arsehole!" yelled Wally, drowning her out. She stood flat against the lockers, startled and confused. Why was Wally pretending he had walked into Ernest, when it was really Kuki who had done it?

"You think you're some hotshot, do ya?" challenged Ernest, cracking his knuckles. "Think you're special or something, pretty boy? Well, I have news for you- you're nothing but _stupid._ So stupid you can't think anything _._ "

Wally twitched.

"Nobody calls me stupid," he hissed with an icy voice. He stared down Ernest's freckled nose, almost touching him. Wally was barely taller, but Ernest was much, much wider.

The two locked eyes in a power struggle and neither wanted to move first.

Ernest finally leaned back, but he didn't look away from Wally. "Ok, let's settle it the old-fashioned way, right here after school. Or is that too hard for you to remember? Maybe you should write it on your hand, like you did for your last math test. Oh wait, but you still failed your test, even though you cheated!"

Everyone in the hall was watching them now, and some people were snickering. Quietly though, because they were still afraid of Wally even if he was an idiot.

Wally didn't flinch. "You won't be able to remember your own name after I'm through with you."

People muttered in excitement. They loved fights. Wally's friend Bruce yelled from across the hall. "All right, another fight!" He looked around. "Where's Joe when you need him? I gotta go place some bets…"

Kuki was still plastered against the lockers, hoping that maybe they had forgotten about her. Ernest certainly did, he strode off, swatting aside freshmen like flies as he walked. But then Wally glanced at her again and opened his mouth. She cringed, waiting for the shouting to start. Telling her how all of this was her fault, how could she just stand there stupidly, what was wrong with her, first the pool, and now this, but he didn't say anything. He just clamped his mouth shut, screwed up his face, and walked away.

Her heart was still racing when her friend came up behind her and startled her.

"What was that?" asked Ashley, clicking her tongue in disapproval. She flipped back her hair, long, the color of barley, that smelled like fake strawberries. "Oh my god Kuki, was that Wally Beatles?"

Gratitude washed over Kuki, finally, here was a friend she could talk to. She told her everything that had just happened- well, except for the part about the ghost in the pool. She wasn't sure she would tell anybody about that bit.

The dirty blonde scowled more and more when Kuki talked about how Wally had covered for her when she bumped into Ernest. "Kuki-" she interrupted. "Kuki, you need to stay away from Wally. He's nothing but a bully and an idiot. Trust me, I'm your friend."

"Oh," was all Kuki could say. But was he really just that, a bully and an idiot? He'd sort of helped her, twice now, and though he wasn't exactly friendly, there was something about him… and of course, it didn't hurt that he was kind of good-looking, even when he was scowling, that unkempt hair the color of golden wheat that he brushed out of his eyes, and those eyes, which until today she hadn't noticed were green, and the way his T-shirt stuck to him climbing out of the pool…

As if reading her thoughts, Ashley put a hand on her shoulder. "Kuki, stop. I have to tell you something important."

Her friend looked down, sighed, and then looked back at Kuki as if she were about to make a confession.

"You're not pretty. As your friend, I _have_ to tell you that. You're just not attractive at all, and no guy will ever want to be your boyfriend, let alone Wally Beatles. I know it sucks to hear, but you have to be realistic. Listen to me, Kuki, I'm your _friend_. I'm telling you you're ugly because I _care_ about you."

"Oh," was again all Kuki could say.

"Please don't get upset," said Ashley. "It's the truth."

"Oh."

Something cracked inside of Kuki, like a walnut being shattered. She realized there had been a grain of hope within her, a warm, glowing spark she felt when the boy had pulled her out of the pool, and now Ashley's foot had stamped it out.

Was she really that undesirable?

"C'mon Kuki, you're not mad at me, are you?"

"No, silly." The lie slid out a bit too easily. Kuki giggled and smiled so no one could see the sadness inside her. A big fake smile like a little porcelain doll. "You're just trying to protect me from disappointment."

Because that's what friends did; they protected each other.

* * *

 **~4x5~ Hamsters in a Hamster Wheel**

"Wallabee, you're failing."

Wally was quiet and sullen, and Ms. Thompson looked at him expectantly, as if there was something he was supposed to say.

"So what?" he finally said.

Evidently this was not what she wanted to hear, because she gave a dramatic sigh and rolled back her head. "Wallabee, do I have to explain it to you again? You're on both scholastic and disciplinary probation. That means if you fail another class or get into another fight, you'll be kicked out of school."

"So what?" he repeated. He could play this game all day.

"Well, your parents have decided that if you get kicked out of school, they're sending you to military school. In Australia."

"Military school? In Australia?" This was news to Wally. "But that's like 20 miles away!"

"Get used to it, because unless you get a tutor, you're going to fail math. And then we'll finally be rid of you! … Um, I probably shouldn't have said that."

"Can you tutor me," he blurted out desperately and she started laughing. He stared at her.

"Oh!" she stopped laughing. "You're actually serious! No, Wallabee, who would ever want to tutor you? You're just… too stupid."

He gave an involuntary jerk at the word "stupid" and stood up angrily. "Well, that's great, because I actually already have a tutor," he burst out, making something up on the spot, "and- and they're really smart and a straight-A student and- and we're starting today after school, so- so _there_."

Ms. Thompson gave him a smug smile as she waved him out, as if she knew he was bluffing. "Great! Hope this mystery tutor works out for you. Best of luck on your next exam, Wallabee."

He strode out angrily, trying to avoid eye contact with her, afraid that she would see right through him. Great, now he had to find himself a tutor, and the only person who was coming to mind was that freak Abby Lincoln.

* * *

It was after school, and Wally was already regretting his decision to ask Abby for help. He was sitting in her abandoned classroom, feeling like a hamster trapped in a hamster wheel. Except this hamster was supposed to be getting help with homework.

Wally stood up to leave, trying to think of a good excuse. Wasn't there something else he had promised to do after school today anyways?

"You know what?" he said. "I changed my mind, I don't need your help after all. See? I already finished my homework during lunch." He flashed some papers at her.

"Hold on one second!" she said, and grabbed the papers with one hand and Wally's shirt with the other, pulling him back down to his seat. She skimmed his work.

"Wally, you answered _bacon_ for everything. What's 6+2? _Bacon_. What is the first amendment about? _Bacon_. What is Albert Einstein famous for? _Bacon!_ Even for your name you wrote _Bacon_! What was going through your mind?!"

He shrugged. "I dunno, I guess I was hungry."

He squirmed but Abby had a surprisingly strong grip on his shirt. "Aw c'mon, you don't really want to help me, do you?" he complained.

"Maybe, maybe not, but I know you need my help. Or would you rather get sent to military school?"

Wally's mouth dropped open. "How do you know about-"

"Abby makes it a point to know things," she interrupted coolly. _And she has a key to the school filing cabinets,_ she thought to herself, grinning.

Wally made a rude gesture and she rolled her eyes. "Beatles, I don't care what your left hand is doing, as long as your right one is writing down the math problem."

He groaned loudly, but grabbed his pencil, kind of wanting to throw it at her, but also kind of impressed that she was actually managing to make him study.

* * *

 **~2x5x4~ Cloudy with a Chance of Hurricanes**

Hoagie begged, hands clasped over his chest, whining like a dog left outside in the cold.

"Pleeease let me in, I just spent all of my summer job money on these new Yipper cards, and I've been dying to try them out."

A short boy in yellow stood in front of the classroom that hosted the after school Yipper club. He shook his head sadly. "Sorry, Hoagie, no can do. The problem is that you just attract too many bullies! We don't want that kind of attention. Plus you scare away all the girls, too."

"What girls? I don't see any girls," he replied incredulously.

"Er, you know, all the girls we're gonna get once you stop hanging out with us!"

"Aw, c'mon Ted, please?"

"Sorry. We voted."

He closed the door and locked it, stranding Hoagie and his brand new deck of Yipper cards outside.

Hoagie walked away, grumbling and kicking up dust in the hallways. Why did these things always happen to him? Out of all the nerds, he got picked on the most. It was his head getting swirlied in the boy's bathroom. It was his sandwich that got filled with live worms. He was like a repellant for girls and a magnet for bullies.

And speaking of bullies, suddenly there was Ernest in the hallway ahead of Hoagie, raging about something like a bull, his face as red as a strawberry.

"WHERE IS HE?" he bellowed. "WHERE'S WALLY? THAT COWARD, THAT IDIOT, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR THE FIGHT! I'M GONNA MAKE HIM REGRET THAT!"

He tore through the hallway like a tornado, slamming lockers and flailing his meaty arms. Students dove out of the way, except for one dumb little freshman who stared up at Hurricane Ernest, frozen with terror.

It was none other than Tommy, Hoagie's little brother, and Hoagie almost face-palmed.

"MOVE TWERP," Ernest roared. "OR DO YOU WANNA FIGHT? 'CAUSE I WAS PROMISED A FIGHT AND I DON'T CARE WHO IT'S WITH AT THIS POINT."

"Don't hurt him!"

But Ernest wasn't listening, and Tommy wasn't moving. Oh god, he had to do something before his little brother got beaten to a pulp! Hoagie ran up behind the bully and awkwardly tapped his shoulder.

"Uh, hi, Ernest, um, please don't yell at my little brother. See, it's his first year at high school and he's very sensitive, and I really don't think you… should…"

Hoagie's voice trailed off as Ernest's enormous chin wobbled towards him and a smile unfolded on his face. Ernest's voice was suddenly calm and dangerous.

"Well, look who's decided to take his place! Thank you for offering to fight me instead of Wally."

"Oh, nonono! I'm not offering anything, I don't wanna fight you, I just…"

But people were already filling in around them, whispering in anticipation, echoes of a chant stirring amongst them. "Fight, fight, fight, FIGHT, FIGHT!"

The crowd closed around them, and Hoagie saw no way to escape. Ernest gleefully cracked his knuckles. Tommy squeaked in shock and was swallowed up by the crowd.

Hoagie gulped. He was not prepared for this. He was not a fighter.

But maybe- and some little part of him clung to this wild notion- just maybe, he'd discover something deep down inside himself, like a secret power. Like maybe there was some part of himself that wasn't a total loser. Like there was another person within him, part of him, but like a past version of himself, that was way cooler and smarter and stronger. It sounded crazy, but Hoagie felt a spark of hope that he could defeat this bully.

Then Ernest's fist came flying at his face.

* * *

They were 45 minutes into the tutoring session and Wally had mastered the number line. He could now count from zero to ten _and_ count back down from ten to zero, even though the latter was a bit harder. Then Abby told him about negative numbers and he flipped out.

"There are numbers less than zero?" Wally's mind was blown. "How is that even possible!?"

He was trying to wrap his brain around it when suddenly they heard screaming. People were shouting, and then there was a clanging sound as something hit the lockers in the hallway. Wally knew that sound well, it the sound of somebody hitting the lockers after getting hit in a fight.

Abby must have recognized it too, because she rolled her eyes and muttered something about angsty teenagers always punching each other because they couldn't properly express emotions.

Wally dropped his pencil. It just occurred to him that he was supposed to be fighting Ernest right now… but because of tutoring, he totally forgot about it. So if he wasn't out there, who was Ernest fighting?

"Hold on, I gotta check this out," he said, and rushed out the door before Abby could stop him.

By the time Wally got there, Ernest was gone and the crowd had dispersed. He was surprised to hear Abby running up behind him.

"Yikes," she said.

Yikes was right.

A junior was lying on the ground, his shirt sleeve torn, blood streaked on his face, his cheek red and raw, lying like a dishrag somebody had wrung out and then tossed aside. He was groaning.

Wally chuckled. Ernest was probably so mad that Wally hadn't shown up for the fight, that he'd punched the first person he saw, which happened to be that dork Hoagie Gilligan. Bad luck. But if anything, Ernest was probably even angrier now, and Wally could only imagine what Ernest wanted to do to him tomorrow.

Abby snapped her fingers at him.

"Beatles, get me some ice from the nurse's office."

"You, freshman," She pointed at the only other person who was still sticking around. Everyone else had just left Hoagie lying on the ground without bothering to make sure he was ok. "Get me some water and some paper towels from the bathroom."

The freshman nodded and hopped away, but Wally just scowled at Abby. Did she really think she could command him around like a dog?

"Don't forget, you owe me for tutoring you," Abby pointed out.

"But I don't have any money," Wally blurted.

"Then go get me some ice from the nurse's office!"

* * *

 **~3x4~ Ice To See You Again**

At the nurse's office, Kuki carefully opened a hot pink band-aid and slapped it onto James's leg. He stared at the strip of pink on his skin.

She bent down to kiss the bandage. " _Mwah_! There, all better!" she chirped.

"Um, I actually have a fever…" he said, but Kuki had already skipped over to her next patient.

Helping out at the nurse's office was the highlight of her week. It was the only time people were grateful to have her around. Outside of the nurse's office, people could be really mean, even her own friends, but people were a lot nicer when they were sick and Kuki was taking care of them.

"Hi Paddy! Are you feeling better today?" she asked sweetly to a redheaded freshman. He promptly regurgitated his lunch into a bucket next to him. "Aww, you poor thing! You haven't been eating Nurse Claiborne's crumbles have you?" He shook his head weakly, and Kuki helped him take a sip of water.

"Stay hydrated!" She smiled and kissed his forehead. He smiled back feebly and she bounced away to the next bed.

"Hiya! What can I do for-"

"So, is it my turn to get a kiss?" A tall boy with bright orange hair lounged on the cot, hands tucked behind his head. He cocked his head and grinned at her from behind his sunglasses. "How's it going, Cookie _?_ "

Ace always called her Cookie and blamed it on his Latino accent. Kuki's eyes flashed from his well-worn bomber jacket that smelled of musk and leather, to the impeccable dimples in his cheeks. She cleared her throat and gave a nervous giggle.

"Ace, what are you doing here, you're not even hurt!"

"I will be if you don't come with me to the next house party," he simpered, and placed a hand over his heart, pretending to be heartbroken. "I barely got to see you at the last one."

She rolled her eyes and tittered. "You silly boy, get out of the nurse's office. I have work to do!" She hit his arm lightly. Ace lifted himself up slowly and began to saunter away.

"It'll be fun if you stick with me, promise." He turned once more before leaving and gave her a two-fingered salute. "Think about it, chica."

She turned it over in her mind as she handed a thermometer to a girl with golden curls. Ace was popular and good-looking. He could be nice to her. He flirted with her all the time. But how many other girls did he flirt with like that?

Her mind flashed back to what Ashley had told her earlier and her heart sank. Ace was probably only flirting with her because he felt bad for her. He wasn't seriously interested in someone like her…

Kuki suddenly realized the thermometer the girl had stuck in her mouth was not the right one.

"Oopsies! That's the one for the other end." Kuki giggled and reached out to grab it. "Lemme take that back. Sorry, Buffy!"

"Ew!" The girl spit out the thermometer and made a face. "And my name's Muffy!"

Kuki shrugged and smiled.

* * *

 _Don't get pregnant: why you can die from having sex_

 _So you can't stop sniffing your parent's drugs…_

 _Smoking cigarettes is for losers. Join chess club instead!_

Wally browsed through the silly-looking brochures at the nurse's office while he waited for someone to appear. He drummed his fingers. "Hellooo?" he tried again.

This time, a head popped out of the adjacent room.

"I said I'll think about it!" The girl widened her eyes in surprise when she saw Wally. "Oh! I thought you were- nevermind."

It was the girl from this morning- the one who he'd rescued from the pool. She still had his jacket, actually. But when he tried to ask her to give it back in the hallway before lunch, she had tried to run away from him! And now it felt like every time he tried to talk to her, he started to feel funny, as if his stomach was filling with lead.

Kuki stepped out, tucking a sleek black lock behind her right ear, and it was the first time Wally managed to get a good look at her. The left side of her hair was twisted and held up by a small pink clip and the rest cascaded down her back in dark, shiny layers. She smiled shyly at Wally, with what looked like almost a sad smile.

"You're ok!" she said.

"Uh, yeah?"

"But what about the fight? You didn't get hurt?"

"Well, actually, I didn't fight Ernest-" His face was screwed up and red. He didn't feel like explaining the whole situation at the moment, because he was suddenly feeling very jittery. "Just- just- I need some ice!"

The girl cocked her head and giggled. "Ok."

Wally realized he'd been staring at her the whole time. Hastily he looked away and his eyes flashed to the brochures. _Help! I can't stop eating Twinkies_. Ugh, anywhere but there!

He looked back at Kuki, drifting gracefully towards the back of the office.

"You're ok, too." he blurted.

"What?"

"The pool- _remember_?"

"Oh! Yeah. I used the hand-dryer in the girl's bathroom to dry myself."

If she remembered that she still had his jacket, she didn't say anything. But Wally didn't feel like reminding her at the moment. In fact, he just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

Kuki slipped out of the room, and came back a moment later with a bag of ice. She giggled again, and Wally couldn't help feeling embarrassed. Why was she always laughing at him?

Grateful for the bangs covering his flushed face, he took the bag of ice from her and avoided making eye contact with her. Something was making him very uncomfortable, but he couldn't put the feeling into words. So he scowled at her and walked out, without even a thank-you.

To make him feel even worse, she cheerfully shouted after him. "You're welcome! Bye! I'm glad you're ok, Wally!"

 _Cruddy girl_. He should have never listened to Abby and gone to get ice. He could've been spared that whole embarrassing situation. Why did she had to be so nice and sweet to him like that, with the giggling and that cute smile? He stopped. Wait, did he just think cute? He meant annoying. Yes, very, very annoying.

* * *

 **~5x2~ Hank the Wimp**

There were muffled voices. Hoagie opened a bleary eye and saw a dark face hovering above him.

"Cree?" he groaned softly. His head was pounding and he tried to close his eyes again.

"Hey- hey! Stay with me." Someone was trying to keep him up but all Hoagie wanted to do was lie there and melt into the floor. Someone grabbed his shoulder again. All right, all right! He lifted himself a little and the stranger guided him so that he was sitting up with his back to the lockers. That was nice. He smiled stupidly a little. He was still dizzy but the pain wasn't as bad. He blinked.

"Ab-a-abigail?" What was that girl Abigail Lincoln doing here?

The girl in the red cap watched him with dark eyes. She was asking him all kinds of questions.

"My n-name? Is Han-Hank, no, wait, it's Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilligan. Junior. Today is Wednesday, March 3. We are in Gallagher. No, no, McClintock." This was kinda fun. "Are we playing 20 questions? Can I go next?"

"Just one more question," she said. "Why did you call me Cree?"

"What? I don't know," Hoagie shook his head. "I thought, I mean you were kinda familiar, for a second I thought…" But he couldn't remember.

Abby sat down next him and said he probably had a moderate concussion. The pounding in his head agreed. She told him to stay put for a while and take it easy. Some ice was on the way.

"Well, I was planning on chopping down some trees or, you know, something super manly," he said, pretending to flex his arms, "But I guess I could take some time to sit and chat with you."

Abby snorted loudly and turned her head, and he wondered if she was trying to hide a grin.

They sat for a while, leaning against the lockers. Abby fiddled with her gold bracelets.

"I heard what happened. That was a brave thing you did for your brother." She nudged him lightly.

"Yeah?" Hoagie looked up, failing to suppress a grin.

"But oh man, you suck at fighting!"

"Ah."

They sat quietly for a little bit longer, and Abby was playing her bracelets again, looking like she was lost in thought.

"Abby?" he asked her.

"Mm?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Helping me."

"Are you saying you wouldn't help somebody if they just got beat up?" She stared at him.

"Not if he's a loser who deserved it," he replied quietly.

Abby didn't have time to respond, Wally was coming around the corner, looking pink in the face, holding a bag of ice, and mumbling something incoherently to himself. Hoagie immediately tried to scramble away; the last thing he wanted was another beating from a bully.

"Relax, dude, I'm with her!" Wally pointed to Abby and held up the bag. "I brought ice!"

Hoagie reluctantly sat back down, looking out of the corner of his glasses at Abby. She took the ice and put onto the lump on Hoagie's head, explaining that she was helping Wally with classes. Wally didn't look happy admitting he was getting help from Abby Lincoln, especially to that dork Hoagie Gilligan.

Then Tommy came running back with paper towels and a cup of water. "Didn't know how to get water-" he panted between breaths, "-had to run all the way to the cafeteria for a cup-"

"That's perfect, thank you Tommy." She dabbed away the blood on Hoagie's face while he took shaky sips of water.

Abby lit up. "Abby has an idea! Wally, I figured how you can pay me for tutoring you."

Wally glared. What more could this horrible girl ask of him?

"You're gonna teach Hoagie how to fight."

* * *

 **~1~ Confidentiality Level 274**

Nigel walked slowly through the college campus. This was the address on the mysterious slip of paper, the one that promised him answers about the secret organization called the Kids Next Door.

"Nigel," said somebody, and put a hand on Nigel's shoulder. Nigel instantly hit it away and spun around, fists raised.

"Whoa! No, it's okay," said the stranger. "I'm the one who sent the message." He was a tall, handsome young man, wearing khaki shorts and flip-flops, with a slick swoosh of blond hair. He almost looked familiar, as though Nigel had seen him before in a dream.

"Oh right, I'm Chad," he said with a grim smile. "You don't remember me, of course-"

"You're from the Kids Next Door?" asked Nigel, and Chad shushed him.

"Not so loud," said the college student, and he pulled Nigel aside. "You never know if they're listening… You weren't followed here, were you?"

Nigel thought for a second. "I don't think so, but something weird did happen on my way here…" He told Chad about the boy who had tried to stop him from getting on the bus, and Chad looked somber.

"This is not good. Definitely not good. Sounds like it was David… Weird things have started happening here too- I've been seeing stars in the sky that shouldn't exist, and green rain on cloudless days, and now this… We don't have much time, so listen carefully.

The Kids Next Door is a secret organization that fights adult tyranny and injustice. I am- was- a part of it, and so were you, until the Galactic Kids Next Door destroyed the Kids Next Door, decommissioned you, and made you forget you were ever in the Kids Next Door." He pulled a file from his jacket and pushed it into Nigel's hands. "I don't have time to tell you the details, but everything you need to know is in this folder."

Nigel opened the file. It was labeled Operation C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.T.I.A.L., and it was thick with documents. He didn't know it at the time, but it contained everything about Nigel, Sector V, and anything you could ever want to know about the Kids Next Door.

"This will explain everything. But the most important thing you have to know right now is this right here." Chad pulled out a thin blue map of a town Nigel used to live in as a kid, glowing with light blue symbols. "This is the only thing that can defeat them. It's a map to a weapon powerful enough to finally destroy the Galactic Kids Next Door. They're coming back to finish what they started, Nigel, so this is more important than ever. And you're the only one who can bring together everyone from Sector V and-"

"I'm sorry," interrupted Nigel. "This is crazy. You must have me confused with somebody else. I can't be a secret agent, I don't remember any of this, I can't fight some evil organization... I'm just a nobody. I've always been a nobody."

Chad folded up the map and put it back securely into Nigel's file.

"Nigel," he said very sternly. "I know it seems hard to believe, but listen to me. The file says that decommissioning isn't always perfect. Sometimes you can vaguely remember what you were doing in the final moments before you got decommissioned. But these memories aren't clear; they usually stay with you like a recurring dream or nightmare. Personally, I was having a recurring nightmare where I was trapped in a cell, my hands handcuffed, and then there was a flash of blue light. But then I found this file, and it told me that my nightmare wasn't just a dream- it was a memory. The file says that I got decommissioned while I was a GKND prisoner, which explains why I remember being handcuffed in a prison."

He looked hard at Nigel. "You have to remember something like that."

"Well, there is one dream that I always have..." Nigel started. "I'm way up, high above the Earth and I'm looking down at it, like, through a window or something, and it's a tiny colorful sphere and very beautiful, but there's a sinking feeling in my stomach. Like something terrible is about to happen and I know it, and I'm about to lose something very important to me… and then there's a blinding blue light and I wake up."

"I think you remember more than you realize," said Chad, with a solemn smile. A light rain began pattering on the sidewalk, but as Nigel looked up at the sky, it was blue without a cloud in sight. There was a soft humming noise, and Nigel was surprised to see the rain looked kind of greenish.

"Oh no," Chad said. "You have to go, Nigel, get out of the rain!"

He pushed Nigel away. "Go! Run! I can distract them for now and buy you some time, but you have to hurry! Stay away from adults, they could be spies! They'll be looking for you now! Don't let them find you-"

Nigel looked around wildly at Chad and the rain, but didn't see anything. The hum was getting louder, though he couldn't tell what it was. All he could do was trust Chad and hope that he'd be okay, so he tucked the file under his arm and ran towards the nearest corridor, out of the rain.

Chad shouted, "Whatever you do, Nigel, don't touch the green rain! Remember me, Nigel, I'm the best there ever-"

There was a flash of light, and Nigel stopped running to rest under the arches of the college, out of breath but untouched by rain, but when he looked back, Chad was gone.

* * *

AN: Whew that was a bit longer than the first chapter! Thanks for stickin' it out, champ. If you can't tell yet, this story is going to be a slow burner... but don't worry, the excitement and fluffy moments are coming ;) 'Til next week!

Peace, friends.


	3. Chapter 3 Plans

**Chapter 3. Plans**

* * *

 **~4x3~ Revenge is a Dish Best Served at Lunchtime**

Wally woke up in a cold sweat. He was having that dream again, the one where he was running in an endless dark corridor, desperate to reach something, but he couldn't remember what. He just ran and ran until he ran out of time and woke up.

Yesterday's events were a blur. So much had happened, including getting into a fight with Ernest, but then forgetting to show up. From what he heard, Ernest was furious and wanted revenge. Actually, Wally wanted nothing less than to give Ernest a good hard wallop, but he couldn't risk getting caught and kicked out of school. So how was he supposed to deal with Ernest without fighting him?

Begrudgingly, he slipped into his jeans, pulled a crisp white shirt over his head, and tugged on a beat-up old pair of sneakers.

His mother was running late. She had her apron half-on, cords dangling at her sides, while slipping in her boomerang earrings, and was surprised to see Wally.

"Oh! You're up," she said and gave a guilty glance at the kitchen. "Well, I'm off. And er, there's some food in the cupboard for your lunch." She was out the door before Wally could even say "good morning."

He opened the cupboard. There was an expired can of beans and half a packet of instant-pudding. He closed the cupboard.

He walked slowly to school, hoping if he was late enough, he wouldn't run into Ernest. But sure enough, at the school entrance, Ernest was leaning on the flagpole with two of his friends, scouring the incoming crowd for signs of Wally. Wally waited around the corner, crushing ants under the heel of his shoe, until the tardy bell rang and Ernest disappeared. Then Wally came around the corner and sprinted to class.

His history teacher flared her nostrils as Wally walked into class late again. "That's two tardies in a row!" she snapped. "Detention! No break for you!"

At least if he was in detention during break, he wouldn't run into Ernest. Now he just had to make it through lunch, then after school, and then every day for the rest of his life.

English was a disaster. There was a pop vocab quiz with long words that looked like complete gibberish to him. He even tried to shiftily glance around, but his classmates knew him too well and covered up their quizzes with their hand, scribbling furiously behind the crook of their arms. He sweated, staring at the blank spaces to write definitions next to words he had never seen before in his life. _Just write something. Anything_. He dragged his pencil across the blanks. _Scribble, scribble_. Just to pretend like he was writing.

The bell rang and he quickly threw his quiz facedown on the teacher's desk so nobody could see the random scribbles. He had made it to lunch, but he felt a terrible lurch in his stomach. Since he'd skipped breakfast, he was extra hungry today.

Perhaps he could snag something from the vending machine; it was far enough from the cafeteria that he probably wouldn't run into Ernest. He checked his pockets but there was nothing but lint. Just then, a freshman passed next to him in the hallway, and he instinctively reached out and shoved him up against the lockers.

"Lunch money," he growled.

The boy looked up trembling, with wide eyes behind yellow spectacles. "Hey!" he suddenly said. "I know you! You were helping my brother yesterday-"

"Shut it," said Wally, but he suddenly felt weirder about asking for this kid's money. "Lunch money," he repeated.

"I- I don't have any," Tommy squeaked. "My mom packs my lunch everyday. A coconut jam sandwich, but she knows I don't like the crusts, so she cuts them into these little heart shapes-"

Wally sighed. He didn't want to steal this kid's food, plus he couldn't eat it anyways because he was allergic to coconut. "Whatever. Just gimme whatever change you got."

Tommy nervously pulled out all the coins he could find in his pockets and dumped them into Wally's hand. $1.62. Just enough for a granola bar.

"Ok kid," said Wally, and released Tommy.

A short while later, Wally was munching on a granola by himself in the hallway, when his friends Bruce and Joe came up to him.

"There you are, we've been looking for you all day." Bruce wanted to know why Wally hadn't shown up to fight Ernest yesterday, and why he was still avoiding Ernest.

"I told you," said Joe to Bruce. "He's chicken. Doesn't wanna fight Ernest. Knows he'll lose."

"I'm not afraid of Ernest!" Wally said angrily.

"Really?" said Bruce. "'Cause you've been avoiding him all day. And Ernest is getting real ticked off… it's only gonna get worse the longer you wait."

"Well, let him!" said Wally. "I'm sick of getting into fights all the time. I wanna stop getting into fights for no reason."

However much he meant it this time, it was too late.

" _There he is!_ "

Wally froze. It was Ernest's voice. That's it, Wally had to give up the game. The fight was unavoidable. Not that it wouldn't be satisfying to finally punch that jerk in the face.

Ernest tried to shove Wally against the lockers, but Wally pushed him away.

"I hear you've been running away from me, Wally." Ernest was chuckling. "I knew you were an idiot, but I didn't think you'd be such a wimp! Gosh, you're a coward _and_ you're stupid."

Wally jerked but didn't say anything. He was too busy thinking of the most satisfying way he could hit Ernest. Jaw? Nose? Eye? His fingers were twitching when, out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed Ms. Thompson peering from her classroom door. She pursed her lips at him, daring him to throw that punch.

 _One more fight_ … he could hear her voice in his head. _And you're off to military school. And we'll finally be rid of you_.

People were crowding the hallways to get to class, and they circled around Wally and Ernest curiously, ogling at them like they were animals in a cage.

At least Wally was about to go out with a bang and with everybody watching.

He didn't care anymore.

He didn't care about school. He didn't care about his parents. He didn't care about his friends. He didn't care about that girl he pulled out of the pool yesterday. _Oh_. _Wait_. He almost forgot about her. He thought about never seeing Kuki again and now he was more confused about what to do than ever.

"Are you eating a granola bar for lunch?" Ernest was pointing and laughing. "Does your mom not love you enough to make you a real lunch?"

People tittered. Wally's fist curled with white hot rage, it felt like his body was filling to the top with molten lava, his head was getting cloudy with anger.

"Do it!" he yelled.

Ernest stared at him.

"Go on then," Wally said. "Go and hit me!"

Ernest was confused. Wally wasn't moving, and he wasn't even putting up a fight. He was just standing there, with his arms apart, waiting.

The bully shrugged, pulled back a fist and slammed it into Wally's face. Wally's head was jerked back, but apart from that, he was still standing. People stared in shock.

"Alright, that's enough!" Ms. Thompson yelled out. "Ernest, principal's office!" She grabbed Ernest by the ear and dragged him away while Ernest whined in pain. "As for you, Wally…" she glared at him, annoyed that she couldn't expel him yet. "… go to the nurse's office."

Wally was a bit in a daze. He was vaguely aware of something dripping down his chin and he wondered if he was crying. His face felt hot and sticky, and people were staring.

"Dude, what the hell?" Bruce punched his arm. "Why didn't you fight? You made me lose the bet."

"Ugh, your face looks gross," said Joe, wrinkling up his nose at Wally, and they left him to go to class.

Alone, Wally walked towards the nurse's office and peered in.

"Uh, hello?" he tried lamely.

A head with shiny black hair popped out.

 _It was that cruddy girl again._

"Wow!" she said. "What happened?" Her fingers were suddenly on his face, brushing his hair out of the way, her eyes wide and sparkly and gazing at his nose, and he flinched back at her touch.

"Did you fall? Did you get hit? Does it hurt? What were you doing? Well, come with me!" She pulled his hand along and led him to a bed in the next room over and plopped him down. He was red with irritation, still clutching the granola bar wrapper in one hand, his nose dripping with something.

"I'm fine!" he insisted. "Ernest hit me, but it doesn't even hurt, maybe my nose is kinda numb, but I'm _fine_ , I don't know why Ms. Thompson made me come here…"

Kuki whipped out a box of Kleenex and dabbed at Wally's face.

"Stop! What are you doing? I'm _fine_ , it's just- is that- is that _blood_?"

He fainted.

* * *

When he came to, his face was scrubbed pink and clean. He lifted a finger and felt a bandage over his nose. Kuki was looking at him, resting her head in her hands next to his bed.

"Are you watching me?"

She grinned. "You're ok, it's not broken!"

She giggled nervously again. Wally looked so different when he was passed out, his face so calm and vulnerable, not like it usually was. Not like the way he was frowning at her now.

Kuki whispered to him, as if they were about to share a secret. "Why didn't you get into a fight this time? You've never backed down before."

Word must have gotten around about what happened with Ernest, and Wally couldn't think of a good excuse. So he told her the truth. He told her that if he got into another fight, he'd get kicked out of school. But he left out the part about thinking he'd never see her face again.

Kuki nodded solemnly. She was starting to look at Wally a whole new way; he wasn't that stupid, angry bully everyone thought he was.

She asked, "Is it true what Ernest said yesterday, about the math test?"

He suddenly froze up and looked away, scowling. "So what if I failed a math test? Why does that matter, anyways? I don't care about school. I don't."

"No, not that," said Kuki nervously. "I meant writing on your hand. Did you really cheat on your math test?"

"Oh, _that_." She was relieved to see he looked less angry. He shrugged. "Yeah. Math is pretty dumb." _Except maybe negative numbers_ , he thought to himself. The idea was still mind-blowing to him.

"If you didn't care about school then why did you bother cheating?" asked Kuki innocently and Wally suddenly found he didn't have a good answer for her.

Luckily, he was spared as his mother arrived at the nurse's office.

"Wallabee!" she yelled. Mrs. Beatles flew in, tensed like a jack-in-the-box ready to spring out of her box. She looked like she couldn't decide whether to give him a hug or yell at him some more. She relaxed when she saw him sitting upright and clean, chatting idly with a girl at his bedside.

"Wallabee," she pleaded, and he rolled his eyes. She looked at Kuki. "Hi there, is there an adult here that I should talk to?"

Kuki beamed. "Nope, it's just me!"

"Well ok, then where is the nurse?"

"You mean Nurse Claiborne? Hmmm, I think she's still in jail for endangering children."

"What! Oh my."

"But don't worry! I'm totally certified in both CPR _and_ First Aid!" She leaned in to Mrs. Beatles and whispered, "Also, I kiss all of their boo-boos to make them better!"

Mrs. Beatles looked aghast while Wally grabbed his bandaged nose and turned bright red. "That's it Wallabee, we're going to the doctor."

He scowled at his mother. "I'm fine, Mum, Kuki says my nose isn't broken."

"No, Wally! You need to be checked out by a real doctor." She rubbed her temple, worried. "Why do you do this to us? Think of the doctor's bills…"

She ushered him out, shoving him through the door. He turned back briefly to catch a glimpse of Kuki standing and waving at them. She smiled radiantly when she caught him looking at her, as if they were sharing some little secret, just the two of them.

His stomach flipped over, and he realized he would gladly get punched a hundred times by Ernest to spend five more minutes in the nurse's office.

* * *

 **~2x5~ Secret Classroom Part II**

"Hey, I-I just wanted to stop by and say, that I never really said, you know, thank you, for making sure I was ok yesterday," Hoagie stumbled through his words, as clumsy in speech as he was in real life. "No one's really looked out for me before, well, except maybe Tommy, but he's kinda nuts and freaks out real easy, he's lucky you were there, you seemed to know what you were doing-"

A red hat peered out at him from a door that was just barely open enough for Abby's head to squeeze through. "Mmkay, don't mention it." Abby started to close the door, but Hoagie stopped it with his palm.

"Let me pay it back to you! Mr. Frybingle told me you work on a secret project here in the evenings sometimes, thought I could offer my help-"

"I think you're forgetting the definition of the word _secret_ ," she answered brusquely and slammed the door shut, but Hoagie stuck his foot in the door and it bounced back open.

"Wow, cool!" Hoagie hopped into the deserted classroom. This was the last thing Abby wanted, somebody poking around her personal business. She groaned loudly, and quickly closed the door after him. Maybe she could give him a small meaningless task to get rid of him as fast as possible.

Hoagie stared around in awe. The classroom was covered with hundreds of newspaper clippings and sticky notes and hand-drawn maps. Hanging on the wall, a cluttered corkboard, in the center, the letters "K" "N" "D", with strings connecting it to pictures of treehouses, a detailed diagram of the moon, and all over, lots and lots and lots of random numbers.

"Ok boy, this is sensitive stuff, so don't touch anyth-"

Hoagie picked up a wooden device lying on a desk.

Abby wanted to smack him. "Careful, don't break that!"

Hoagie laughed. "I can't break it if it's already broken!"

He pulled out a multi-tool from his back pocket and wedged its mini screwdriver into the metal bits holding the wooden planks together, adjusting, tightening, fixing the springs of the device. He snapped it shut and tested the trigger. It slammed open onto the desk with a _splank!_ and shattered a stray pencil sharpener, startling Abby.

"Wow! Nice toy," he said and put it back down. "You _wooden_ wanna get hit with that, that's for sure!" He grinned at Abby.

She did not grin back. Instead, her hat smacked him upside the head. "That is the worst joke I have ever heard in my life!"

How dare he! To come into her classroom, touch her stuff, and then make a cringe-worthy pun about it! There was a reason she never let anybody in here. And here Hoagie was, fumbling around with her secret items and- her face suddenly melted into surprise. "Wait, you fixed it. How?"

"It's a pretty simple design. It's almost like I've seen it before." He shrugged. "I like to build stuff, you know. I'm actually working on this one thing right now…"

Abby snapped her fingers and dove into a pile of blue papers in the corner, and hoisted up a stack of blueprints for Hoagie to look at. She hesitated.

"Hold up," she said as the teenage boy strained to look at the papers in her arms. "Don't you think I'm crazy?"

Hoagie looked at her and shrugged again. "Meh," was all he said, and Abby couldn't tell if he was disagreeing with her. Or maybe he _did_ think she was crazy, but he didn't care.

Abby looked once more at her personal sanctuary, all her research and Kids Next Door artifacts that she had to hide from classmates that called her names, and then back at Hoagie, who was looking at her eagerly.

"Ok," she said, to her own surprise. Aside from Lenny, and now Wally technically, she never let anyone into her secret classroom. She splayed out the blueprints on the table, each one with the same phrase in its title: 2x4 technology. "Can you tell me what these are for?"

And that was how Hoagie became Abby's research assistant.

* * *

 **~4x3~ Plan Bee**

"Wally, we already know you're an idiot. You don't have to prove it to us again," Bruce yelled up from the ground. It was barely a few days after Wally had almost broken his nose, and he was climbing a tall tree.

"I'm not an idiot, Bruce! I'm about to win this bet and be five dollars richer!"

Wally crawled along a branch towards a beehive. He had a stick in his hand that he used to smack the hive. Some bees popped out and buzzed angrily.

"I hit it!" he yelled.

"Doesn't count!" yelled Joe below. "You gotta knock it down to the ground!"

 _Thwack_! went Wally's stick against the hive, but it just swayed on the branch and wouldn't fall. He had to get closer.

He scooted forward another inch but it was one inch too far. The branch cracked and fell to the ground, and with it, Wally and the beehive. He slammed into the ground and was miraculously unhurt- until the bees found him.

They swarmed his body, a thousand stingers looking for his skin.

"Still counts!" yelled Wally between yelps as he sprinted away from the hive followed by a swarm of bees.

Bruce and Joe laughed. "Definitely worth five bucks!"

Half a mile later, Wally outran the last of the bees, and stopped, panting, to check his wounds. His arms looked awful, covered in dozens of red bumps.

"Yes, it worked!" He grinned and raised his fist in triumph.

It was definitely bad enough for a trip to the nurse's office.

* * *

At the nurse's office...

"Ohmigosh Sonya, what happened?"

Kuki pulled a tissue across blonde hair covered in green goop.

The little blonde freshman shook her head and sniffled. "I don't know! It came out of nowhere, like rain that fell out of the sky! And then it hit me and I fell, and then Lee caught me, but that green stuff still got all over my hair!"

She cried and her friend Lee reassured her with a hand on her shoulder. "It was not cool," he confirmed laconically, spinning a yo-yo.

But even though Kuki scrubbed away the last of the goo, Sonya's blonde hair was still greenish, and she wailed at the sight of herself in the mirror.

"Oh no, is my hair going to be green _forever_?!" She bawled.

"Don't worry, Sonya," said Kuki, kissing the top of Sonya's head with a loud _mwah_! "I'm sure your boyfriend still thinks you're beautiful."

Sonya choked on her tears, Lee almost dropped his yo-yo. "Oh! He's not- he's not my…" The two freshman locked eyes, turned crimson, and then looked away from each other.

Kuki beamed, when somebody knocked at the door. Somebody who was covered in red bumps.

"Bees," he explained to Kuki and then added nonchalantly, "I could use some first aid, I guess. Or, whatever."

She stared at him- she'd never seen so many bee stings on one person! How did he get himself into these situations? It was almost like he was trying to get hurt on purpose. Secretly, she was glad to see him, but she had to remind herself not to get too excited. It was only him needing medical attention. Not like he was purposefully coming in to see her.

She pulled him down into a chair.

"Okie, I'm gonna get the first stinger out!" She bent over and pinched the stinger with a pair of tweezers, then gently pulled it out. Wally twitched at the prick.

"There!" she giggled nervously. "One down, twenty-seven to go!" She gave the first bee sting a quick kiss and Wally immediately pulled back his arm, red-faced.

He glared at her. "HEY! No way you doing that for all of them!"

"Fine! Maybe you won't get my kiss of healing," she huffed and got back to work. He calmed down and barely moved as she continued to work, making sure no stingers were left behind in Wally's arm.

She chattered nervously as she worked, just for the sake of saying something. She told him about the weird green rain that had hit Sonya, she told him about her undying love for rainbow monkeys, she told him about the time when that freshman walked in on her crouching underneath the hand-dryer in the girl's bathroom. Wally didn't say anything, he just followed her shiny black hair as she traveled with the tweezers over his arms, occasionally twitching when she pulled out a particularly nasty stinger.

Kuki didn't know why she was telling him all this stupid stuff. Somehow, it felt less awkward than just sitting there in silence, with him watching her the whole time. He was probably anxious to get out of there, anxious to get away from her nervous chatter and awkward laughter.

Fifteen minutes later, Kuki stood up after pulling the last stinger. "All done!" she told him. "Let me get you some ice for the swelling and you'll be good to go."

"Oh- okay." But Wally didn't move from the chair. Kuki handed him the ice and he put it on his arm, still sitting there.

"Well?" said Kuki. "Anything else I can help with?"

Wally furrowed his brow like he was trying to think of something, but couldn't come up with anything. "Er, no, I guess."

He got up and headed towards the door, slowly, as if he wasn't sure whether he wanted to leave. He looked back at her just before he left.

"Hey Kuki?"

"Yes?" She looked at him, bright-eyed, a smile as bright as a shooting star.

Wally searched for the right words.

"Um. Thank you."

She glowed. "Anytime!"

He hesitated again, then gave her a nod and walked out. He felt a little silly about it, actually. Who nods at somebody to say goodbye? But in the moment, he really couldn't think of anything else to say to her. He felt his cheeks flushing as he walked away, and knew that if he turned around again, he would probably see Kuki still standing there, laughing her head off at him.

* * *

 **~2x5~3x4~ The Best Day Ever**

Today was going to be a wonderful day.

Hoagie was bounding through the house. He grabbed his backpack, picked up a bagel and stuffed it into his mouth, kissed his mother goodbye on the cheek, then saw Tommy trundling down the stairs half-asleep and gave him a huge wet kiss on the side of the cheek as well. Tommy made a face and wiped his cheek on his sleeve.

"Gross, Hoagie…"

His older brother chortled. "Bye Tommy! Bye Mom!"

He rushed out the door, skidded to a halt, and quickly hopped back into the house.

"Almost forgot it!" He picked up a large box by the door and stumbled out of the house towards his bus stop, barely able to see over the top of the box as he walked. An all-white convertible blasting music cruised up behind him. Kuki Sanban stood up in the back and waved, and her pink skirt rippled in the warm breeze that blew through the quaint suburban neighborhood.

"Hey-ey! Today's the big day, huh?"

Hoagie grinned at her. "Yup!"

"Oh, I have the thing I promised you! It's right- ow!"

Ashley jabbed Kuki with her elbow and the little Asian girl fell and plopped into her seat.

"Kuki!" reprimanded Ashley. "Stop being so nice to losers like him!"

"See you later, Hoagie!" came a muffled voice from the back of the convertible.

At school, Hoagie almost walked into Fanny and Rachel walking in the opposite direction. They parted and jumped out of the way of Hoagie's enormous box.

"Hey, ladies," Hoagie said to them smoothly.

"Oh, _please_!" The redhead scoffed and straightened her hair. The blonde on the other side shrugged.

Hoagie beamed and kept walking into science class. He passed by his stout neighbor wearing a white cable knit sweater and white slacks.

"Hey Constance," he grinned. She stared at him impassively and turned her head awkwardly so that her braids were sticking out at weird angles. "Hello, Hoagie."

He finally set the box down triumphantly behind his desk and in front of Abby Lincoln's.

"So this is what you haven't stopped talking about for the past week?" She eyed the box.

Hoagie was still smiling. "So can you make it after school?"

"Abigail thinks you're crazy," she said, then hesitated. "But maybe the right kind of crazy." She leaned back so all he could see was a thin half-smile beneath the shadow of her red cap. "Sure thing, flyboy."

Yep, it was going to be a wonderful day.

* * *

"Hey!" Wally reached out and tapped Kuki's shoulder. He caught her before lunch, making sure her awful friend Ashley wasn't around. He didn't like Ashley; Ashley was as mean as Kuki was kind.

Kuki turned in the hallway, sleek raven locks tumbling over her shoulder, lighting up with a smile, and her heart gave a little soar. Even though she was well aware of the fact that he couldn't be interested in her, she still got disproportionately nervous when he was around. "Oh, hi Wally! Everything okay?"

"Um, yeah! So, uh, listen, you said you liked rainbow monkeys, and I thought you might want to watch this movie! Are you free after school maybe?"

He pulled out a rough-looking rental DVD from his backpack. It was titled Mutant Killer Monkeys: From Outer Space! and had a picture of a drooling chimpanzee holding a machine gun on the cover.

It was a very odd request, and she was a bit confused. Besides, she was busy. "Sorry, I can't." She shrugged.

"Oh." Wally bitterly dumped the movie back into his bag. It was stupid idea, anyways, and he felt like an idiot for trying. "Why?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I'm going with Hoagie to the park! I'm helping him for the engineering fair."

"Hoagie?" he spluttered. "Hoagie the dor- er, Gilligan?" He had to bite his tongue from saying dork.

She nodded and he glowered. Since when did Kuki hang out with Hoagie Gilligan at the park?

He slouched on the lockers next to her and fidgeted with his hands. "Er, can I come too?"

"Of course! I'm sure he'd love to see you there."

Wally scoffed. Like he cared what that dork Hoagie thought. "'K, cool," he said, trying not to sound too excited.

"We'll see you after school then, bye!"

"See ya." Wally stared after the girl with shiny midnight hair, swishing across her shoulders, her pink skirt bobbing down the hall, and he felt a weird pang in his stomach that had nothing to do with the fact that he was hungry but didn't have a lunch again.

* * *

 **~2x5x3x4~ The Worst Day Ever**

The afternoon sun settled warmly over the grass in the park. A banner was draped at the entrance. _Welcome students_ , it said. _Welcome engineers_. It was a warm, windless day- perfect conditions for flying. Handfuls of students were already milling about the slapdash booths, while men and women wearing business suits with little badges strolled around. BW Engineering, read one badge. United American Airlines read another. Zesla read a third. They strutted around, looking at the students' projects, subtly shaking their heads at each other, jotting down notes on notepads.

Hoagie was unpacking his box in a fluffy patch of grass where he sat on his knees, surrounded by a mess of wires and metal screws and half-assembled plastic contraptions and what looked like a wooden ramp. Abby was the first to arrive.

"Wait, don't look yet!" Hoagie jumped up and placed his palms over Abby's eyes. "It's not put together yet and I want the final thing to be a surprise!"

"All right Hoagie," she grinned. She put down her bag in the grass but couldn't sit down. "You can let go of my face now."

"Oh! Sorry." Hoagie hastily removed his hands, and she sat down with her back to him.

She leaned against her messenger bag, casually glancing around at the other students and their projects, little piddly plastic contraptions that spun around or floated in the air for a few seconds. None of it looked particularly impressive to Abby. She had a gut feeling that Hoagie was about to make something that would blow the other competition out of the water.

"Hoagie," she said, "when d'you get so good at building stuff?"

"I dunno. It's always come pretty easy to me."

"But you must've done this a lot as a kid, right? I mean, nobody just wakes up one day and knows how to build, like, a car." She turned to catch a glimpse of his face.

He shrugged. "I really don't know. I really can't remember much from my childhood." He was leaning over his device and carefully screwing in little pieces. His cap was askew and his caramel hair was half plastered to his forehead and half sticking straight up. He raised the crook of his arm to quickly wipe the sweat from his brow without looking away from his contraption.

He was pretty cute when he was concentrating hard.

That caught Abby off guard, thinking Hoagie was cute. She peeked at him again to be sure, and he sure did look attractive, working intensely. He was so absorbed he didn't even notice her checking him out.

"Don't you think it's weird," Abby mused aloud, still watching him, "that you don't remember your childhood. So what's the first thing you remember? Is there anything that…" she paused, looking for the right words. "...that's like a recurring memory?"

"Well, I do have this one recurring memory, or maybe it's a dream, I can't really tell, where I'm trying to fix something but I can't. I don't know what it is I'm trying to repair, but I know it's very important. I try and I try to fix it, but I can't. Then there's a blue light and I wake up." Hoagie glanced up, scratching his head. "Wow, that sounded really weird. Sorry. You probably don't know what the hell I'm talking about."

"I do, actually," said Abby quietly, but she didn't say any more than that.

A few minutes later, Kuki appeared at the edge of the park waving enthusiastically, followed by a tall blonde.

"I didn't know you invited Kuki and Wally," Abby said, and Hoagie looked up in surprise.

"Wally?" He straightened up. Kuki, he was expecting, but not Wally. Kuki had a huge smile on her face, Wally had everything but.

"Don't they make the oddest couple?" Abby said, and Hoagie chuckled.

"Hey guys! Welcome to the engineering fair!" Hoagie gestured around at the drooping welcome banner, the bored students, and the even more bored businesspeople. "I'm crossing my fingers the judges like my project. It's a pretty cool idea, I've got a good chance of winning, as long as The Kid doesn't come up with something better. I hear he's doing something ultra lightweight, which is good, but not original…"

"But it cuts down on fuel use by 50%," said a suave voice behind them. Ace stood there, hands in his leather jacket, leaning on a booth with the carelessness of a tiger on a lazy day. "The judges loved it," he smirked at Hoagie.

Hoagie glared and grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

"Anyways, good luck Hoagie," said Ace, straightening up. "Oh wait, Cookie-"

He leaned over to Kuki and passed his hand over the side of her face, stroking back a lock of her hair.

"You had something in your hair," he said, smirking, even though Wally didn't see anything in her hair.

Kuki turned pink and giggled. Wally had the sudden urge to kick Ace in the shins.

Abby elbowed Hoagie. "Hey, here come the judges." Five black suits showed up, forming a semicircle around Hoagie's invention. Ace stayed to watch. Some other students came over and poked in their heads with curiousity, including some of the nerds from the Yipper club, and even poodle-faced Valerie and her shadow Mary Beth.

Hoagie wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He was excited but also very nervous.

"Ok, welcome everyone!" He gathered them around the model airplane on the ground, a little metal contraption hardly bigger than a shoebox. "This is it! This is the world's first environmentally-friendly airplane to run on, drumroll please," -he posed dramatically- "to run on _canned beans_!"

The suits murmured excitedly to each other and began to scribble furiously in their little notebooks.

"That sounds really stupid," blurted Wally.

Hoagie gave him a reproachful look but continued. He turned to Kuki and stretched out his hand. "Miss, the test subject?"

Wally almost protectively stepped between Hoagie and Kuki, but to his surprise she reached into her backpack and pulled out a hot pink rainbow monkey. The fluffy, aviator-wearing animal exchanged hands and was plopped into the seat of the plane.

"Good luck, Amelia Bearheart!" Kuki grabbed Wally's arm, wiping her teary eyes with her hand. "This is her first flight! They grow up so quickly." Wally relaxed. So that's what Kuki had promised to help Hoagie with.

A fresh can of beans was popped open and poured into the back of the plane, and then the fuel tank was snapped shut. On Hoagie's remote control, buttons were pushed, knobs twisted, levers flipped, and the little vehicle sputtered to life, emitting bits of hissing steam.

Hoagie licked his lips. "I think we're ready. Abby?"

She was handed the sputtering airplane, and she held it just above the edge of a long wooden ramp.

"On the count of three you're going to release the plane, okay?"

Abby nodded.

Kuki squeezed Wally's arm tighter in anticipation, her eyes on the plane.

"Pfff, it's not gonna work. Beans, seriously?" muttered Wally, but even he couldn't look away from the plane.

Everyone, Ace, Ted from Yipper club, the other students, the businesspeople, they were all intently watching the plane now, collectively holding their breath.

Actually, the only one who wasn't looking at the plane was Abby. She was still staring at Hoagie.

He was focusing intently, cap crooked, honey-colored hair spilling out underneath, mouth slightly open in deep concentration and it made Abby feel something she hadn't in a long time: the feeling that anything was possible, that Hoagie could do anything _._ Hell, in that moment, she'd've believed him if he said he could build a rocket to the moon.

Hoagie, on the other hand, was sweating bullets. It all came down to this- he gripped the controls tightly, his fingers twitching at the ready, and gave the countdown to Abby. She let go, and its little wheels spun and launched the plane up the ramp.

It shot up a foot into the air and then shuddered.

Kuki screamed.

It hardly flew ten feet before it spluttered, tipped on its side, and cut diagonally downward, trailed by an entourage of gray smoke. Hoagie's remote couldn't control it anymore as it hurtled towards the ground, and he frantically pushed the eject button.

The plane crunched into the ground, exploding in a shower of smoke and sparks. Flames licked the wreckage. Black smoke billowed out. The smell of overcooked beans wafted through the air. Amelia Bearheart floated down safely in her parachute, ejected at the last second. Hoagie stared at the wreckage, his heart sinking into his stomach. So much for the engineering fair.

The men and women in black paused, looked at each other, and subtly shook their heads. They stuck their pens into their notebooks and shuffled away like one big black amoeba.

Ted and the other Yipper card nerds turned away as well. Valerie giggled and nudged Mary Beth as they scampered away too. Ace shrugged at Hoagie. "For a second there, I thought it was going to work," he said, almost apologetically, before walking back to his own successful project.

This was the worst day ever.

"Wow, let's do that again!" Kuki squealed in delight.

Wally looked confused. "Why would we do that again? It exploded. It totally failed!"

Hoagie stared at him, dejected, but Wally just shrugged and said, "What? It's true."

Abby put a hand on Hoagie's shoulder and squeezed it. "I'm sorry, Hoagie. You'll get it next time." She smiled.

Kuki threw her arms around Hoagie and Abby, crushing them together in a big hug. "Ooh, next time I'll bring my Shamrock 'n' Roll rainbow monkey for good luck! Or maybe my Funky Survivor's Guilt rainbow monkey…"

Even Wally had to admit it had been fun. "Especially the part where it smashed into the ground and caught on fire." He thought for a second. "You know, I could donate a can of beans to you, if you need it for next time…"

Hoagie sniffled and wiped under his glasses. Lost were his hopes of winning the engineering fair and scoring some hotshot internship. Lost was his opportunity to one-up Ace. Lost was his chance to prove he was more than just some loser. But despite that, he found himself surrounded by people trying to cheer him up. He'd never had anybody try to cheer him up before, and now suddenly there were three of them.

He decided to change his mind.

Today wasn't such a bad day after all.

* * *

 **~2x4~ Pinecones**

A pinecone smacked Hoagie in the stomach.

"Ow! That hurts!"

"That's why you're supposed to dodge it! Rule number 1 of fighting- it hurts less if you don't get hit." Wally stood a few feet away surrounded by trees, scaly pinecones heaped at his feet. As part of his deal with Abby, he was supposed to teach Hoagie how to fight in exchange for getting tutored a couple times a week, and Hoagie had finally begun his first lesson. And this little clearing in the woods by his house seemed like the perfect training ground. Wally flicked his head with carelessness to clear the hair from his eyes and ran his fingers along the spiny edges of a pinecone, savoring the windup.

He lobbed the pinecone at Hoagie, who stood dumbly in the way, and it bounced off his chest.

"Ouch! Those things are spiky!" He rubbed the sore spot on his chest while Wally rolled his eyes. Hoagie was really bad at dodging.

"You know, I'm starting to think you just like throwing pinecones at me," said Hoagie.

Wally couldn't hide the grin on his face. "Dude. You suck. I can't believe I'm doing this to pay for Abby tutoring me."

"How's that going, by the way?"

"The tutoring? Ugh, don't remind me, Abby's-" Wally was about to call her awful, but he realized that wasn't true. "-not that bad, actually." He was surprised to admit it, but the girl was a good teacher. She was smart, patient, and she'd never once called him stupid.

"Yeah, she's pretty cool, isn't she?" Hoagie had a stupid grin on his face.

"But that's not why we're here," reminded Wally. "We're here to do something about how much you suck at fighting."

Hoagie groaned. "I know. We can't all be glorious hunks like you."

"... did you just call me a hunk?"

"-in a completely platonic and manly way, of course," Hoagie added quickly. "You know, how all the guys are scared of you and all the girls are in love with you…"

Wally looked confused. Ok, perhaps he didn't know.

"Dude, it's like, I try really hard to be cool. And what do I get? I get picked on. I get laughed at. I get beat up. Even the other nerds at school refuse to hang out with me anymore! And don't get me started on girls. You wanna know what happened to me last time I tried to talk to a girl? I had eggs thrown at me. Egged by girls! And here you are, with your macho muscles and golden surfer hair and everyone respects you and all the girls look at you with puppy eyes. You have it so easy."

Something surged inside of Wally like an angry wave rolling in a thunderstorm, and he snapped, "Trust me, I don't have it easy."

He kicked the pile of pinecones and they pattered all across the forest floor. Hoagie was suddenly quiet.

The forest was silent, except for the faint rustling of pine branches in the wind. The sun was about to set, and the air was getting cold.

Finally, Wally spoke.

"At least you're good at building stuff. I'm not good at anything except getting in trouble. I'm about to get kicked out of high school and sent to military school. My grades suck. My friends think I'm stupid. My teachers think I'm stupid. My own parents think I'm stupid. I just- I wanna prove 'em wrong, I wanna do something good with my life, I- I-"

He looked up to see Hoagie listening, listening and nodding along, his head faintly illuminated by the last rays of the setting afternoon sun. Wally had never seen anybody listen to him like that and he realized he said too much. He shot Hoagie a resentful look and picked up a pinecone.

This time, Hoagie saw it coming. He swerved to the right and watched the pinecone whistle past his nose.

"Ha! Did you see that?! I totally- argh!"

A second pinecone struck him in the head.

"Wait, that's not fair! I dodged the first one; I wasn't ready for the second one!"

"Rule number 2 of fighting," said Wally with a smug smile. "There's no such thing as a fair fight."

Wally dropped the smile and narrowed his eyes. "Don't ever tell anyone what I just told you. And don't think we're friends, because we're not. Got that?"

Hoagie rubbed his head and shrugged, and the two teens ambled together out of the dark woods _almost_ like friends.

 **~1~ The Vigilantes from Outside the Complex**

The muddy ground was slick with rainwater and Nigel had to be careful that his tennis shoes didn't slip and cause him to fall into a green puddle. The fields alongside the main highway were thick with weeds and the mud was pulling down his shoes, slowing his progress. The file labeled C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.T.I.A.L. was tucked under his arm, but he hadn't had time to read it yet, aside from the map Chad showed him that he was now following. TRUST NO ONE, was written on the file, as well as BEWARE OF ADULTS. And that was why Nigel had to take the long way through the countryside. It was the only way he could avoid adults. The more he thought about it, the more he realized they were everywhere- on the bus, in the train, in the streets, in the stores… you couldn't escape them. They would always be there, watching him, and he didn't know who might be a spy for the GKND, who might turn him in, who might steal his file.

He had to set up camp for the night and protect himself from the rain first, though.

Stormy gray clouds had gathered, which was good because they blocked the green rain, bad because they darkened the sky and he couldn't keep marching on today. His clothes were damp, his skin prickled and cold, and he needed to find shelter soon.

He stopped at the first semi-dry cave he could find, a musty rock cavern at the base of a sloggy green hill. The closest civilization he could see from here was a drab gray building complex far away in the distance, far enough that he believed he was safe. Cold gray water dripped from his bald head, his skin was all goosebumps, but he used the last light of day to pull out the file and read what he could.

The first thing that fell out was a photograph.

It was him, from maybe three or four years ago, surrounded by four other children. A chubby boy wearing yellow goggles. A dark-skinned girl in a red cap. A boy in an orange pullover. A pretty girl with long black hair.

He didn't know these people, but he felt like he did. It hurt to look at the photo, like he was looking at a memory of a dream that he desperately wanted to remember but couldn't.

 _Sector V of the Kids Next Door_ , said the back of the photograph. _Numbuh 1 Nigel Uno_ \- that was him- _Numbuh 2_ _Hoagie Gilligan, Numbuh 3 Kuki Sanban, Numbuh 4 Wallabee Beatles, Numbuh 5 Abby Lincoln_.

The next documents were all about Nigel. How Nigel rescued children from a flood of strawberry ice cream. A photo of Nigel standing proudly in front of a dark, flaming figure behind bars. Nigel Uno shaking hands with a blonde girl, holding a book and a trophy in his left arm.

A photo of him in a space suit, giving a bittersweet salute to the camera. Caption: _First day at the GKND._

He simultaneously could and couldn't believe this was actually him. This boy in the photographs, a younger, more confident version of himself, looked so brave and fearless, like he could accomplish anything. He looked like a hero.

What happened to that boy?

And what became of everyone else in the photographs? Nigel hadn't gotten to part of the file yet explaining how the Kids Next Door got destroyed.

He shut the file. It was getting too dark to read. The secrets of the GKND would have to wait until tomorrow.

* * *

Something brushed by his arm.

"Hehe, look, he's bald!"

"What?" Nigel eyes fluttered at the sound of a voice.

"Sh! Now you've done it! He's waking up!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean- wait, grab him!"

Nigel awoke to four or five little kids pinning him down. It was barely dawn, with the first cold rays shining through the dewy mist of the morning. He struggled, but he was outnumbered by the children.

"What are you doing here, teenager?" The leader of the children put a foot on Nigel's chest, holding a stick threateningly in Nigel's face. He looked, like many things, vaguely familiar to Nigel, frowning underneath a dirty mess of blond hair through thin black-rimmed spectacles.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Who are _you_?" answered Nigel, bewildered.

"We're the Vigilantes from Outside the Complex!" said the girl holding down Nigel's right arm, grinning.

"Shh, Raya, you can't keep saying that to everyone we meet!" said their leader sternly to the girl. "We don't know if we can trust him yet."

"Hey-" said Nigel. "You can trust me! I won't tell anybody about you! Just let me go!"

"What's this?" A tan-skinned boy by Nigel's left leg had discovered the file and rifled through it. His eyes grew wide and he whispered something to the leader. The leader looked at Nigel.

"Explain this," he pointed to the file. "What is the Kids Next Door? Are you on our side?"

Nigel thought for a second and nodded. "Yes, I'm on your side. I'm on the side of every kid in the world. The Kids Next Door fights for all kids, against the tyranny of adults!" He didn't know where these words were coming from, but they felt like the right thing to say. Hopefully the kids would believe him and let him go.

"All right," said the blond boy, motioning to the others. They let go of his limbs and Nigel immediately reached out to grab his file.

"Uh-uh," said the tan-skinned boy, holding it out of Nigel's reach. "Not until we know we can trust you."

Nigel gritted his teeth. He had to get that file back; there was so much that he still had to learn about himself and the GKND! "Fine," he told the gang of children. "What do you want to know about me?"

* * *

So Nigel told the mysterious group of vigilante children about the Kids Next Door, the once-mighty organization that fought for the justice of children everywhere. They followed his stories with gleaming eyes when he talked about attacking adult tyrants who wanted to force-feed them Brussels sprouts, or ban candy, or make kids go to bed earlier. Most of the stories he told were from what he read in the file last night, but some of them, he wasn't sure where they came from. Maybe he made them up. Maybe he was remembering them on his own. He didn't know.

But the kids loved his swashbuckling tales, and they wanted to hear more.

"Tell us again how you defeated the Crazy Cat Lady! And more about Grandma Stuffum! How did you fight Chester when he wanted to turn you into a moose?"

The more he talked, the more Nigel started to believe his own stories. Even their leader was nodding, as though he believed Nigel was the real deal, but then he frowned. "So where are the Kids Next Door now?"

"Oh, er, right," Nigel said hesitantly. "Well, three years ago, an evil organization, the _Galactic_ Kids Next Door, destroyed all traces of the Kids Next Door. I don't know why, or how, but now nobody remembers the Kids Next Door ever existed. Except me. And now you guys, I guess. Anyways, I'm on a mission to defeat the GKND so they won't ever do something like that again."

"Three years ago, hmm," said the little blond leader. "That's when they started rounding up the kids. I was too young to remember much, but Jessica and Sammy remember…"

The tan-skinned boy and one of the girls nodded feverishly.

"Oh, it was awful," said Jessica, clutching a worn-out stuffed rabbit to her chest.

"They took us at night," said Sammy solemnly. "Out of our beds. Anyone under 13. We all woke up in a huge building complex. 'Welcome to your new school,' they said. I don't know why they called it a school because we didn't learn anything, except that life is miserable. All day we had to work making cottage cheese. Wake up, no breakfast, work. 10 minutes for lunch. Back to work. 15 minutes for dinner. Back to work. Sleep."

"And if you refused to work or if you rebelled in any way, they'd take you to the _dungeon_." A collective shiver passed across all five children.

"What was in the dungeon?" Nigel wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"Your worst nightmare," whispered Raya.

Sammy nodded. "It's different for every kid. They figure out what you're most afraid of, and then they use it against you."

Jessica started panicking, rocking back and forth with her bunny. "Oh no oh no oh no…"

"Aw man," said Sammy. "Not again, Jessica. They can't find us here! They're not gonna hurt Hopsy Mopsy anymore!"

"M-my poor bunny rabbit," she sobbed, holding her stuffed animal even tighter. "He's been through s-so much torture!" She started crying and Sammy looked sheepish.

"There, there," said Sammy, awkwardly patting her back while she cried. "I'm sorry, Jessica."

"We're the lucky ones," said their leader to Nigel. "We managed to run away. We've been hiding in the countryside, going back only to steal food. Everyone else is still trapped and too scared to escape."

"That sounds terrible," said Nigel. "I wish I could help."

"You can."

Nigel stared at the little boy.

"Teach us," said the boy. "Teach us how to be like you."

Maybe Nigel's storytelling had gone too well, and now these kids thought he was somebody way more heroic than he actually was. Or maybe Nigel really was a somebody, and this was his chance to make a difference in the world.

"Sure, but I don't remember-" he started, trying not to sound like a fraud. "I mean, I don't have a guidebook or anything. But what I could do is take you on a mission with me and teach you everything I know… as long as you return my file to me."

"We'll return it _after_ we complete the mission."

"Fine, _after_ the mission."

"Deal." Nigel and the little boy shook hands. "Don't worry," said the boy, "we're stronger than we look."

"-and we're plucky!" said the girl in the yellow dress called Raya.

"-and resourceful," added Sammy.

"-and caring," said Jessica, hugging her bunny.

There was only one boy left, wearing a beanie low over his eyes, and Nigel realized he hadn't said a single word yet.

Now he reached into his pocket and held up an unlit match between his fingers. "Boom," he whispered, and tucked the match back into his pocket.

"That's Jackson," whispered their leader to Nigel. "He doesn't talk much."

"What's your name?" asked Nigel of the little blond boy who was running a hand over his weapon, a smooth wooden stick, the one he had threatened Nigel with earlier.

"Joey," he grinned. "Joey Beatles."


	4. Chapter 4 Discoveries

**Chapter 4. Discoveries**

* * *

 **~2x5~ Hoagie's Discovery**

Ever since he first knocked on Abby's classroom door, Hoagie joined her in the evenings, helping her research the mysterious Kids Next Door. He loved every second of it, he loved getting to hang out with someone as cool and confident as Abby Lincoln. He'd watch her, leaning casually on the blackboard, writing up numbers, one hip jutting out, wiping the chalk dust on the back of her brown shorts, and then she'd turn around and catch him staring at her. He'd hastily look back down at the newspaper articles he was supposed to be sorting and hoped his ears weren't furiously red.

Sometimes it felt like she was looking at him too, but when he looked up at her, her cap was always pulled low over her eyes so he couldn't tell what she was really looking at. It was probably just Hoagie's imagination running wild, anyways.

Some days though, Abby would pack up early and tell Hoagie to go home. Then the next day, she would mysteriously have a cool new Kids Next Door device for Hoagie to play with, or a new 2x4 blueprint for him to decipher. Sometimes she'd even come back with scratches on her arms or a bandaged hand, and she'd try to hide this from Hoagie. But he noticed. He tried asking her about it, where she got these artifacts and where she went on those nights she left early. But she always waved him off, answering vaguely about finding the artifacts in the dumpster or accidentally cutting her hand while cooking.

Whether or not Hoagie believed her, he still looked forward to seeing her after school every day. He even forgot about being banned from Yipper club, and eating lunch alone all the time wasn't bothering him as much anymore. The only other person who would stop by on rare occasions was a classmate of Abby's called Lenny, a reticent boy who said little but stared at Hoagie through the dark slats of his football helmet (did he ever take that thing off? Every time he saw Lenny, he got a vision of him wearing the helmet even in the shower, and had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing). Abby would tell Lenny their latest findings, and sometimes they would go retrieve Kids Next Door artifacts together. Abby said they could trust Lenny, but that didn't mean Hoagie liked him any better. Or that he approved of Abby and Lenny going off on missions together.

One evening, Hoagie was shuffling through old newspaper articles, looking for mentions of weird artifacts or misbehaving children. It was kind of boring, but he didn't want to admit it to Abby. He wasn't even sure what she was looking for. "Anything out of the ordinary," she told him. "Anything that could be connected to the Kids Next Door. Anything that leads back to the _source_ of the Kids Next Door…"

"Could you please be more vague?" he teased and she gave a snort.

"Don't get too involved, boy, this work can be dangerous. If you go looking for trouble, you're gonna get hurt." Hoagie felt a little hurt. It was like she didn't believe Hoagie could handle more than shuffling papers, like he wasn't good enough for going on missions with her. He sighed. It was still better than hanging out alone after school.

Keep looking for the source of the Kids Next Door, whatever that meant. An image in a recent newspaper caught his eye. A pirate, red-faced, bushy-bearded, growling at the camera, surrounded by a shipload of glittering candy. PIRATE SHIP ROAMS AND LOOTS LOCAL NEIGHBORHOODS, said the headline.

Hoagie drooled. What he would give for a bite of that sweet candy… He frowned. Something just occurred to him. If candy had always been illegal for anyone under 18, how did he know what it tasted like?

Something else caught his eye in the picture. Amongst the hordes of wrapped candies, he saw a box, something like a device with buttons on it, that looked vaguely familiar. With a flash of inspiration he recognized it.

"Abby, look!" He pulled up one of the 2x4 blueprints and pointed at the photograph. "The Kids Next Door code module is in this photograph!"

Abby raised the newspaper to her eyes. The little box in the photo looked identical to the diagram Hoagie pulled out, a blueprint for something called the C.O.D.E.-M.O.D.U.L.E.

"According to the schematic, the code module is a biologically-activated device that contains a record of every Kids Next Door operative ever-" he said, and was interrupted as Abby threw her arms him in a hug that felt like a chokehold.

"Hoagie, this is great! This is a major breakthrough!" She let go of him and rambled, thinking aloud. "Finally, I can track down who used to be in the Kids Next Door. They might be decommissioned, but maybe they'll be able to remember something useful..." She looked sternly back at the newspaper article. She was deep in thought.

"Pirates, why did it have to be pirates." She locked her jaw and pursed her lips in concentration, as though mentally preparing herself for something. "It's risky. But Abby can deal with that." She frowned at Hoagie, and he had a premonition of what was coming.

"Thanks Hoagie, I think we're done for tonight."

He almost asked if he could stay, itching to find out what she was going to do with this new information, but she turned away from him and he couldn't bring himself to bug her about it. He'd find out tomorrow, he hoped.

* * *

"What the hell is he doing?"

Hoagie pointed and Abby followed his finger to the vending machine, where Wally was jamming quarters into the coin slot. His arms were full of snack bars but he kept putting in more money and pulling more and more chocobars out of the machine.

Sonya and Lee were waiting patiently behind him, but she burst into tears when Wally took the last coconut-chocolate bar.

"Was that the last one? I wanted a choco-coco bar!"

Wally glared at the two freshman underneath his armful of snacks. "Too bad! I need these!"

Sonya cried and Lee put his arm around her shoulders to comfort her.

"Not cool," he told Wally, who rolled his eyes and ran away with his load of bars.

"Isn't Wally allergic to coconut?" Abby asked Hoagie, who shrugged, because he was as confused as she was.

"So," he said, grinning like a kid on Christmas Eve. "What're we researching today? Any luck with the Kids Next Door code module last night?"

Abby shushed him. "Hoagie, don't talk so loudly."

"Sorry." He flinched. "I forgot that people at school make fun of you for believing in the Kids Next Door."

Abby scrunched her brows and looked down the hall distractedly. 'What? Oh no, it's not that, it's…" but she trailed off and wouldn't finish her sentence.

Hoagie couldn't help feeling Abby's mind was elsewhere. "Same time later today?" he said hopefully, walking with her towards the cafeteria. A vision slipped into his mind, maybe more of a daydream, where he and Abby would get to a table, but instead of parting ways, she'd look at him smiling, and ask if he wanted to join her for lunch today. Then they'd swap funny stories about their teachers and maybe even trade bits of their lunches, like elementary kids did. Some string cheese for a bite of a sandwich. An orange slice for three sips of apple juice. He'd tell funny food-related jokes and she'd laugh hysterically. People would curiously look over at their table and be jealous, wondering how that loser Hoagie Gilligan was managing to have lunch with someone as cool and mysterious as Abby Lincoln.

"Uh-" said Abby, still distracted, and Hoagie's fantasy poofed away back into reality. He realized he'd never seen her eat lunch in the cafeteria before. She probably did way cooler things during lunch than sit in the cafeteria. Abby froze.

"Shhh, do you hear that?" They were about to round the corner, but instead, Abby suddenly pushed him up against the lockers and held him there, and he could feel her breath on his cheek. His hands started to feel sweaty.

In the distance, there was a dull _thunk_ that was getting louder. Hoagie recognized it.

"Do you mean Principal Smelling? That sounds like the cane he uses."

Sure enough, the principal strolled down the hallway, his wooden cane thumping the floor ahead of him. He gave the two teenagers a hateful glare as he passed.

Abby's muscles relaxed and she took her forearm off of Hoagie's chest.

"False alarm." She shook her head, and Hoagie was worried. He had never seen her so tense before.

"You know what, Hoagie," she said, still not looking at him. "I- I don't think I'll need your help today."

"Oh, ok," he said, trying not to sound too disappointed. "I can come by tomorrow then."

"-Or tomorrow," she said. "I don't- I- Abby can work on her own. Your debt is paid."

Hoagie stood dumbly. He didn't want to have to admit it so bluntly, but now he had to. "But I like helping you."

Abby wouldn't stop glancing up and down the hallways, like she was expecting a ghost to pop out and frighten her any second. Something felt really wrong. She finally said to him, "No, Hoagie. Trust me, it's for your own good. You don't want to help me."

"But I do! Please? I don't mind. I can do the boring stuff, I'll alphabetize everything for you, I really like helping you, I do-"

That must've been the wrong thing to say because Abby suddenly had a painful expression on her face.

"Hoagie-" she started. "I don't need- I don't- I don't _want_ you helping me."

"Why?!"

"Because." She couldn't look at him. "Because you're annoying!"

Silence washed over them. His mind felt numb. "Oh. Ok then."

Abby pulled her red cap low over her eyes, shrouding her face so Hoagie couldn't look at her, and she walked away, away from the cafeteria, away from Hoagie.

So that's the way it was. Everything he thought was or might be, wasn't.

Hoagie floated slowly to the corner of the cafeteria, feeling as though he had no legs. He unpacked his brown paper bag lunch onto the table. The usual. A squished, shrink-wrapped sandwich. A juice box. Some string cheese.

"Hey Hoagie!" called a voice from across the cafeteria.

He looked up, startled. It was Valerie, sitting next to Marybeth and some of her friends. "Watch this," she told them, and reached into her bag. Her fingers pulled out a white egg and she pretended to throw it.

Hoagie instinctively flinched.

Valerie laughed. "Hahaha, Hoagie the dork is afraid of _eggs_! He's so weird! Maybe that's why he doesn't have any friends to sit with at lunch." Marybeth shrieked with laughter.

His face burned. _Ignore them, ignore them_. He slowly opened the sandwich as he sat alone in the cafeteria. Again.

* * *

 **~3x4~ Plan C for Coconut**

"Y'know, I saw the weirdeth thing yethterday," said Herbert, vigorously rubbing lotion onto his arms.

"I was looking through my telethcope at Cathiopeia- that's a conthtellation- and I could swear I saw a star I've never seen before! I looked it up on the computer, but I couldn't find anything! And when I looked back through the telethcope, it was gone!"

"Wow!" Kuki exclaimed, handing him another bottle of ointment for his eczema. "D'you think those were aliens watching us?"

"Don't be ridiculouth," lisped Herbert. "If there was intelligent life out there, we would know about it."

He leaned in to Kuki, whispering, "But I'll tell you a secret- if you look at the moon during the right time of the month, in the right light, you can see the remains of some old ruined building. And it's _pink_."

Kuki gasped. "Oh my gosh, I love pink! That means aliens love pink too!"

He clucked his tongue in disappointment. "No no no, Kuki. That pink thing on the moon, it's a government conspiracy is what it is. I bet it's the Russians, who knows what they're up to on the moon…"

He was interrupted as the door slammed open and in walked a creature with a red and enormously swollen face.

"Monster!" screamed Herbert and fell off the bed in the nurse's office.

"Oh, hi Wally!" beamed Kuki.

"Mreeeehhh raaahhhh," groaned the monster unintelligibly. "Frraaah."

"You're saying you have a severe coconut allergy and you accidentally ate a bunch of coconut bars? Well, I have just the thing for that!" She pulled out a needle and flicked it.

"Nwergd! Graaaahhh!"

"No, it won't hurt a bit! Just stand still…"

The monster lunged forward and tried to grab the needle from Kuki's hand. She sidestepped him and ducked under his arms. He turned and chased her across the room, and she dodged and zipped by him with some kind of unnatural agility. Try as he might, he could not catch her.

He turned to find her facing him, grinning, needle in hand. Her eyes grew wide.

"Oh my gosh, what's that!?"

"Wraaad?" Wally turned, startled, just as Kuki gave him the shot in the side of his face.

"Mmmraah!"

She smiled widely at him. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Herbert stared up at them, cowering underneath the bed. "Are- are you even allowed to do that? Don't you need some kind of medical degree or something to give somebody a shot!?"

"I told you, I'm certified in both CPR _and_ First Aid!" Kuki replied crossly, and led Wally to a bed to lie down on.

The swelling was starting to go down on his face, and as Kuki sat by his side, she was grinning ear-to-ear, and realized she didn't even need to fake her happiness to see him.

* * *

Wally and Kuki sat side-by-side on one of the nurse's beds. She had been teaching him how to wrap gauze around various parts of his body, then handed the gauze to him so he could practice. But then he pretended to wrap the bandage around her eyes so she couldn't see. So she had thrown some cotton balls at him, and he had thrown some Band-Aids at her, and now they were sitting next to each other covered in various bits of gauze and cotton and bandages, giggling.

Herbert was long gone, so it was just the two of them.

"Hey Kuki, can I ask you something? What made you...uh, why were you in the pool the other day?"

"Oh, um." Kuki didn't have a good answer for him. She pulled at a lock of her hair, twisting it around her finger, then letting it uncurl. If she told him the truth, he would think she was crazy.

"I, uh, I saw something in the water," she mumbled. "Like a ghost, or something."

"A ghost? What do you mean?"

"It's no big deal," she said quickly, staring at the ground, feeling the red flooding her cheeks. _Keep it together, Kuki_ , she told herself. _Or he's gonna think you're weird_. "I just- I just see things somethings. Like, from my dreams. It's silly, forget I said anything."

"No, it's not silly. Your dream, was it like… was it like a recurring memory? Something that you sort of remember, but can't?"

Kuki looked up at Wally. She nodded hesitantly. "I'm not sure if it's a memory or a recurring nightmare," she whispered. "But it's one where I'm trapped in a dark room, crying, alone forever… and I feel like I'm about to die in a way but then I wake up."

He nodded back at her gravely. "I have the same thing. This dream, this memory, where I'm running down a corridor, but no matter how fast I run, I can never make it to the end. I'm on a really important mission, I can't remember what, I think I have to deliver some kind of message, but I'm always too late."

"You don't think these… memories... are connected in some way, do you?"

"I don't know." Wally shrugged. "I don't know."

The two of them gazed at the floor, lost in thought. It felt like all the answers were there, on the tip of Wally's tongue, like he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but he just couldn't remember what it was.

He suddenly looked up in surprise. "Hey! I just realized something. You never tried to give me a get-better kiss this time!"

In a baby-voice she retorted, "Aw, did wittle Wally want one?" and giggled.

"What!? _No_! I mean, you're lucky that my face got better without it…"

She giggled again and he wondered whether his face was turning red.

"It's probably too late now, right?" he said, looking up into Kuki's dark eyes between slats of blond hair. "Or- or maybe I'm not all better yet?"

Kuki caught his eyes and suddenly found it very hard to look away. "You tell me, where does it hurt?"

Her eyes were big and dark and sparkling, her hair shimmering. She was leaning close enough to him that he could count the lashes on her eyes. "This hurts," said Wally roughly, pointing to his arm, still red from his bee stings. He thought for a second. "And here," he said, pointing to his cheek, even though the swelling was mostly gone. "...and here." He pointed at his mouth.

Her heart started beating very fast. She looked at him with eyes dark like the night sky, Wally's were deep green like the ocean, and she was almost touching him, almost forgetting how undesirable she was, and she wondered, just wondered what would happen if she...

The door slammed open, and Hoagie stood panting at the entrance.

"Guys, you gotta help me! It's Abby- she's in trouble!"

* * *

 **~2x5x3x4~ Bar Brawl**

"What happened, Hoagie?" Kuki asked as Hoagie stood at the entrance trying to catch his breath.

"She- she-" he wheezed, doubled over, and raised a finger. "One sec- I just ran- all the way- from her secret classroom-"

Wally frowned. "Isn't that like 3 doors down from here?"

Hoagie nodded and grabbed a stitch in his side, catching his breath.

"She's missing!"

Hoagie explained that Abby had been acting weird today, though he left out the part about her saying he was annoying. Even though she told him not to, he went to check on her after school anyways. And when he got there, she was gone, but all her stuff was still there- backpack, wallet, phone- as well as several candy wrappers littering the floor.

He immediately assumed the worst. "I think she was kidnapped… by pirates!"

Kuki gasped, eyes wide and terrified. "How can we find where they've taken her? I don't know anything about candy pirates except that they like to drink root beer!"

Wally scratched his chin. "Root beer? My friend Joe knows all about root beer. He's always talking about this one place downtown…"

* * *

The alleys downtown were cold, damp, and smelled like mildew. The three teenagers crouched beneath an old sign reading _Lime Ricky's_ , hanging above a dirty yellow window, the only light on the street, loud voices laughing on the other side.

"Are we sure she's in there?" whispered Kuki.

Hoagie replied, "Hold on, I'll check."

He stood up and pressed his face against the yellow window. Inside, there was a grungy bar, a handful of pirates gulping down root beer, and in the back corner, a girl with her hands tied with rope, looking very angry, hanging from the rafters.

"That's her! She's in there!" Hoagie exclaimed and motioned frantically for the others to follow him. "Let's go!"

"Wait, what's the plan?" asked Wally, but it was too late- Hoagie had already burst into the bar, followed by Wally and Kuki, and the bar went quiet. Dozens of beady pirate eyes stared at them.

Hoagie stared back at the group of pirates standing between them and Abby. Crud, he didn't think this through all the way, did he?

"What are you doing here? Abby told you to leave her alone!" yelled the girl who was tied up. "You shouldn't have come looking for me!"

Kuki and Wally popped up behind him and Abby started yelling louder. "You brought _them_? What is wrong with you! Can't you see this is dangerous? You're all going to get hurt!"

"Shuddup ye snot-nosed brats!" A voice boomed across the room. There was a thunking noise as an enormous pirate trundled in next to Abby, peg leg thumping the floor, his bushy beard studded with lollipops. Captain Stickybeard placed his shiny hook on her cheek. "These yer friends? Yer accomplices, helping you steal my property?"

"No!" she shouted. "They have nothing to do with this. They were just leaving! Abby will handle this herself!"

How she was going to "handle this herself" was unclear; she swung slowly on her rope and couldn't even wiggle her hands. It didn't stop her from shouting at the three teenagers. "Just GO!" she yelled. "Please, before you get hurt!" she begged.

The roomful of pirates snickered amongst themselves.

"No."

Wally stepped forward, to everybody's surprise.

"No," he repeated. "We're not leaving you."

Kuki and Hoagie stepped forward with Wally.

"Well, looks like yeh've got more friends than ye thought!" sneered Stickybeard. He lowered his voice to a growl.

"Get 'em."

Every pirate in the bar took one last swig of root beer and stood up. Suddenly it seemed like the handful of pirates had multiplied into dozens, and Hoagie realized just how much he underestimated the number of pirates in the bar.

Thirty or so pirates approached them, grinning and reaching out to them like children grabbing for candy.

Hoagie froze, but it was too late to make it back out of the bar now. Oh crud. Oh crud! Now what?!

Wally roared and charged headfirst into the crowd of pirates. Some of them surrounded Kuki and tried to grab her, but she ducked and twirled and somehow danced her way out of their grasps. One snaggle-toothed pirate eyed Hoagie in particular and approached him, snarling.

Hoagie put up two fists. Oh god, ok, just like Wally's lessons. Rule number one of fighting… what was rule number one again?

The pirate punched with a yellow hand.

Oh right, _duck_!

He ducked in the nick of time. Another fist came swinging at his side. He jumped back. Dodged again!

Meanwhile, Kuki danced around pirates and zipped away from their grabby hands, until she found herself above the crowd, and here she hopped from one pirate's head to the next, all the way across the room towards Stickybeard.

"Ooh, candy!" She cried and reached for the lollipops in his bushy beard. He yelled and tried to stop her, swatting at her like he was trying to get rid of a pesky fly.

Hoagie was still locked in his one-on-one fight. The snaggletoothed pirate growled, unrelenting, moving towards Hoagie. He didn't know how long he'd be able to keep dodging these hits, he needed to buy some time! Rule number two of fighting…

Hoagie looked around him. This would have to do. He pushed over the tables in front of him and threw chairs at the oncoming pirate, slowing him down.

Rule number three… the punch. This was it, he had nothing left. He balled his hand. Thumb on the outside. Lift it. Lead with the knuckles. Follow through!

Hoagie threw his punch and bopped the pirate on the nose. "Ouch!" yelled the pirate through his snaggletoothed mouth and stepped back. He foot got caught on a fallen table and he stumbled back, crashed into a pile of chairs, bounced off the wall, hit his head on the doorway, and then crumpled onto the floor.

Hoagie stared in disbelief. "I… did it! Guys! Wally! Wally, look! I did it!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAH!" Wally bellowed. He was holding two pirates by their beards and swinging them around his head, smashing them into the crowd, knocking over dozens of candy pirates at a time like bowling pins.

"Wally, look! I, I… nevermind."

Wally flashed him an incredulous look. "Well, GO!" he yelled and pointed at Abby. With Stickybeard distracted by Kuki, and Wally beating up every other pirate in the bar, nobody was guarding Abby.

"Right!" Hoagie squeaked and dashed through the room towards the captive hanging from the rafters. "Hey there," he told Abby. "How's it _hangin'_?"

"Oh, shut up and hurry!"

He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his multi-tool, and chopped his way through the ropes. Abby fell to the ground.

Kuki frolicked around Stickybeard and gave him one last pat on the head. "Bye-bye! Time to go!" She hopped over to Hoagie and Abby.

Hoagie pulled Abby up by the hand. "All right, let's go!"

"No, wait! The module!"

Abby wriggled free from Hoagie's grasp and charged at Stickybeard, who in turn lunged at her. Mid-jump, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wooden contraption, spring-loaded, wood-planked, that snapped open onto his face with a satisfying _splank_!

He reeled back, howling, which gave Abby the perfect opportunity to swipe something from inside his coat.

"Got it! Let's go!"

She dashed out, followed by Hoagie and Kuki, grabbing Wally who was still beating up a mob of pirates.

"That's right!" Wally yelled as he was pulled out the door by his hood, angrily shaking his fist. "That'll teach you to mess with us!"

* * *

The four teens sprinted all the way back to school, flush with excitement. They couldn't stop talking about it.

"Holy crud, that was amazing! Did you see their faces?!"

"Kuki, you were hopping like a cat over all of them!"- Kuki beamed -"And Wally, oh my god, what a monster!"- even Wally couldn't help the smile on his face.

Hoagie was probably the most excited, recounting how he had knocked out one of the pirates in a single punch. "Did anybody see that?! It was textbook! Perfect! No? Wally? Kuki? Nobody saw it?"

"I saw it," grinned Abby, and Hoagie lit up all over again.

Meanwhile, Wally tapped Kuki's arm again. "You're definitely ok? You didn't get hurt, did you?"

She shook her head, shiny black hair tumbling around her shoulders.

"Oh, good," he touched her cheek lightly, as if he were worried about any cuts or bruises that she might have missed. He had already asked how she was doing 15 minutes earlier, but he wanted to ask again, to be extra sure, and it made Kuki smile.

"Hey, Hoagie," Abby said, and motioned to the side with her head. Hoagie obliged and joined her aside from Wally and Kuki, who were now giggling about something or other.

She looked at the ground and spoke in a harsh tone. "Hoagie, I specifically told you _not_ to help me. I said I didn't want your help, and I definitely didn't want you to come after me."

Hoagie cringed. That's right, he had almost forgotten that Abby didn't want him around anymore.

"...But if it weren't for you, I'd still be trapped. I guess- I guess I'm glad you didn't listen to me. It was dumb of me to think I could handle stealing the code module on my own. I thought I got away with it last night without anybody seeing me, but somehow the pirates found out and were furious that I'd stolen the code module. Then they kidnapped me after school to take it back. And then you saved me, even though I was a jerk to you. You're a better person than I am, Hoagie."

Hoagie gave a bittersweet smile. "I'm just glad you're ok…"

"And, um," she looked uneasy, and fiddled with her gold bracelets. "I don't think you're annoying, Hoagie. I- I think you're- I mean, I just said that so you'd leave me alone and so you wouldn't get hurt."

She was looking down at her bracelets but Hoagie was elated. "Well, I didn't get hurt! And I got to beat up a pirate today!" His eyes gleamed behind his glasses. "Does that mean I can still help you with your research?"

Abby stared at him. "You still want to help me after the way I treated you?"

"Hell yeah! It's like the best part of my week!"

And Abby broke out into a grin that she just couldn't suppress. "Ok," she said.

"Hello!" Kuki popped her head up between the two of them. "Anybody want a lollipop?" Kuki pulled out a handful of lollipops from her pocket and began licking one.

"Sure, I'll take one." Abby reached out. "...wait a sec." Something seemed off about those lollipops. Abby looked closer and saw they were covered with little brown hairs.

"Kuki, you didn't steal those from-"

"From Stickybeard's beard? Yeah, I did!" She smiled with blue teeth.

"Ugh, gross!" The other teens gagged and then laughed.

"Sweetie, don't eat those, just give them to Abby," Abby chuckled, took the lollipops from Kuki, and pocketed them, where she felt her hand bump against something else. The code module! She'd almost forgotten about it. But suddenly she realized she didn't want to examine it yet; it could wait. Now, all she wanted to do was hang out with her friends.

And perhaps for now that was a good thing, because the information on that code module would change her mind about everything, including the people she thought were her friends.

* * *

 **~5~ The Code Module**

It was just Abby and the code module sitting in the classroom. It was late, everyone else had gone home hours ago, and the sky was blanketed in tar-black darkness.

Abby held the module in her hands and it felt like anticipation, like this little plastic device could tell her everything about the Kids Next Door, the secret organization that had stolen her childhood. She couldn't wait any longer to discover its secrets.

She pushed a button and it hummed to life. Her heart was beating fast. The screen flashed. _INSERT SPECIMEN_ it read.

Specimen? What kind of specimen, like a blood sample? Abby didn't feel much like stabbing herself. A crazy idea popped into her mind, she had no clue where it came from, but it just felt like a logical choice. She jammed her finger into her nose and then put it into the machine.

It lit up. _ACCESS GRANTED_.

 _ENTER NUMBUH_ prompted the module.

Well, where else to start than at number 1?

She typed in 001 and a picture of a bald boy in a red turtleneck popped up on screen. _Numbuh 1_ , _Nigel Uno, Leader of Sector V, last known possessor of the Book of KND, highest-ranking operative during the 8th age of the Kids Next Door_ … Abby scrolled through the biography but none of it meant anything to her. She had never seen this boy before in her life.

The last line caught her attention, though. _Mysteriously disappeared at age 10_ , it read, _Never seen again_.

Strange. Not much she could do with this information though.

She hit the arrow on the side of the module, the number changed to 002, and Abby dropped it in shock when she saw the picture. She picked it back up with trembling fingers.

She knew this face. It was chubbier and wearing yellow goggles, but it was unmistakably Hoagie.

This explained why he knew so much about Kids Next Door technology. But why would he pretend not to know about the Kids Next Door itself? It didn't make sense. Was he lying to her? Or had his memories been erased?

Her stomach was starting to feel sick. She punched the button on the side again.

Her heart jumped again. It was Kuki, sweet, innocent, little Kuki. How could she be a part of this as well?

With fingers like lead, she hit the button for the next entry.

Wally's boyish face peered up at her. Oh no, not him too. Abby had trusted these people, she considered them her friends, and now she wasn't sure if they were lying to her or if they'd all somehow been brainwashed.

Confused and with a heavy heart, she went to the next number.

No.

It couldn't be.

Next to _Numbuh_ _005_ and above the name _Abigail Lincoln_ , her own picture looked back at her, tight-lipped, arms crossed, red cap casting a shadow over her face. _Former Sector V member, Soopreme Leader of the Kids Next Door, Top candidate for TND_ …

Abby's heart froze, it couldn't be true! It was all coming together, why everything was so vaguely familiar and strange at the same time. It was brainwashing, it had to be! All of them- Abby, Hoagie, Kuki, Wally- were brainwashed by the Kids Next Door. All their memories of the Kids Next Door, erased. All their memories of each other, erased.

And thanks to having her memories erased, Abby was a lost soul. No childhood, no friends, just her classmates calling her crazy for believing in the Kids Next Door. What was the point of all of it then, if she couldn't remember any of it? Abby couldn't help feeling that there must have been some sort of mistake, like she shouldn't have been decommissioned. The Kids Next Door wouldn't just rip away her childhood and her future like that, would they? Would they?

 **~5x2x3x4~ The Misfits Lunch Table**

Normally, the four of them would never be caught dead sitting at the same lunch table. An airhead, a loser, a delinquent, and a freak sharing lunch? Not even school textbook covers were that diverse. But today, Abby called them together for an urgent meeting, and it was the first time the four of them had ever hung out together during school.

Abby decided they were her friends and she should trust them, so she told them everything she found out from the code module- how they had been in the Kids Next Door and how they'd had their memories erased.

But they didn't seem as fazed by it as Abby. Hoagie kept devouring what looked like a peanut butter and gummy worm sandwich, Kuki picked daintily at her salad, and Wally, who didn't have a lunch, just shrugged.

"So?" he said. "It doesn't change anything. If we can't remember it, it's like it never happened anyways." He was trying hard not to look at the other lunches.

"But don't you want to know what happened?" Abby insisted. "It's not like we just forgot some random thing that happened to us as kids, this is years of our lives that we can't remember! If I can just find out what happened to the Kids Next Door, who destroyed them, maybe they can find a way to restore my memory…"

"I dunno, maybe Wally has a point," Hoagie said, and Wally looked surprised to hear Hoagie defending him. "What's past is past, it's not gonna change who we are now. Uhhh, did you want some?" He noticed Wally staring intently at his sandwich. "I made 6 today so I don't mind giving you one."

"Pff, I don't need your charity," scoffed Wally, but five seconds later he changed his mind. "Oh, just give me the damn sandwich," he said, snatched one of Hoagie's extras, and wolfed it down in one bite.

Peanut butter and gummy worm was surprisingly delicious.

Abby wasn't happy. "Guys, you don't understand. That stuff about me, about us, in the code module, _Sector V, Soopreme Leader_ , _Top candidate for TND_ , I feel like it's part of who I am, or who I was meant to be. I can't imagine it was all for nothing, I feel like I'm supposed to be something more than just a- just a-"

"Dumb teenager?" offered Wally.

"Yeah," she said. "That. Don't you guys feel it too, like you were meant for something more? More than waking up, going to class, feeling bored, feeling like no one gets you, being surrounded by people who are mean to you… Be honest you guys, are you happy the way you are now?"

She looked around the table. Everyone was quietly looking down- Hoagie, who was grateful to have at least one lunch where he wasn't sitting alone, Wally, who was on the brink of getting expelled from school, and Kuki, who was having more and more trouble trying to look "happy" all the time.

"It wasn't all for nothing," whispered Kuki. The others stared at her. "We used to be a team, back when we were in that sector together in the Kids Next Door. And now we're sort of a team again. It's kind of like fate, isn't it?"

Abby's face softened and she smiled. "Yes, Kuki. Even though we forgot we used to be friends, we found each other again, didn't we?"

If nothing more, they had each other. The four of them exchanged bittersweet smiles.

Who was not smiling was Ashley. She saw them huddled together on the far side of the cafeteria, and she was livid. She dug her claw into Lenny, sitting across from her, and yanked him up. She found Constance, whispered into her ear, and then she stood up too. Lastly, she grabbed Bruce and dragged them all off, her face flushed red with anger, to have a secret meeting of their own.

* * *

Ashley was so mad, she was spitting on their faces.

"How could you guys let this happen? Infinity is going to be so pissed!"

Constance and Bruce cringed and exchanged terrified glances. Only Lenny looked calm, as if he didn't really care what the former Sector V members were up to. Or maybe it was the giant football helmet that was blocking his face, so you couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Ashley took a moment to compose herself, then flipped back her dirty blonde hair. "Alright, here's the plan, dum-dums. If we want to keep them from discovering something that could destroy everything, we're gonna have to break them up. We're gonna have to hit them where it hurts the most…"

And she whispered her plan to her blue-eyed siblings.

 **~1~ Don't Touch the Green Rain**

Though it had been cool and rainy the previous night, the day brought nothing but muggy weather, with heat shimmering over the fields, settling onto their skins like a hot heavy blanket that they couldn't shake off.

Nigel led the way, traipsing through the scratchy, thigh-high fields, keeping an eye on the one-lane highway in the distance leading back to the city. A short bus ride it had been, but a long walk back through the fields. Now that he was leading a band of vigilante children, it was even more imperative that they stay away from adults.

Raya scampered behind Nigel, eager to keep up with his big strides, even though her forehead was plastered with sweat. Jackson marched behind her, not complaining nor saying anything, though he refused to take off his beanie even during the hottest part of the day. Next came Jessica, closely followed by Sammy, who at every break wanted to make sure she was drinking enough water, and Joey brought up the rear, using his staff as a walking stick.

Once it cooled down enough so he wasn't panting like a dog, Nigel told them more stories from the Kids Next Door as they walked. The Great White Asparagus was a hit. So were tales of Captain Stickybeard and his gang of evil candy pirates. He told them about each sector and their treehouse headquarters. He told them about the huge stores of candy reserves and laws protecting rainbow monkeys and other stuffed animals (Jessica grinned and hugged her bunny). He told them about the Kids Next Door's recruit training programs, where cadets learned the basics of Kids Next Door weapons and fighting (to which Raya got excited and karate-chopped Nigel's shin. "Like that? Am I doing it right?"). He told them of Moon Base, where the Soopreme Leader of the Kids Next Door resided (Joey listened in awe), Arctic Prison Base, where the most heinous adult villains were kept (Jackson chuckled to himself) and the Deep Sea Lab, where the latest 2x4 technology was always being developed (Sammy furrowed his brow).

"What happened to these places? Are they still around?" asked Raya.

Nigel didn't know. "Well, they were probably abandoned after-" After what, exactly? How had the GKND destroyed the Kids Next Door? Nigel couldn't remember.

"I wish we could go back in time," said Jessica sadly. "The world sounds like a much nicer place back when the Kids Next Door existed."

"Yeah, well, the Kids Next Door don't exist anymore," said Sammy in a bitter voice. "All that's left of it is some teenager who we don't know we can trust. So you better get used to the world being miserable."

Jessica frowned. "Don't be so mopey, Sammy. Of course we trust Nigel! He's giving us hope of what things were once like!"

"You call this hope? I call it longing after a world that doesn't exist anymore! It's stupid to waste time thinking about what-could-have-been instead of about reality."

Jessica screwed up her face, and the two raised their voices in a heated argument, until Joey interrupted. "That's enough!" he said, and the two of them glared at each other but quieted down. "It's been a long day and we should set up camp soon. Whatever the world used to be like, the least we can do is learn from Nigel's skills in survival, fighting, and teamwork."

There it was again, that admiration they had for Nigel. Treating him like he was an inspiration. Nigel didn't feel like an inspiration, though. He just felt like a fraud. If all he ever wanted was to feel like somebody important, why did it suddenly feel so wrong to him now?

Dusk was falling and cold winds began sweeping the fields. Joey was right, they should find shelter for the night. At the next semi-protected cave, Nigel and the children filed in.

First things first, they should make a fire. Nigel scoured the cave for sticks he could try rubbing together, it would be a slow but they needed fire, when something behind him went _fwoom!_

"Whoa!"

A wave of bright orange fire roared up next to Nigel, and he nearly jumped a foot in the air.

Jackson watched him between the flames, chewing on the unburnt end of a smoking matchstick, and he grinned as Nigel jumped into the air.

"Nice- nice work, Jackson," said Nigel, his heart still racing.

Even though they were tired and sore from walking, the children were still excited about going on an adventure. Jessica busied herself cooking something over the fire, while Raya asked Nigel to show her some fighting moves. Jackson was lying down, pretending to be asleep, but Nigel could tell he watching, too. So he went over some basics, defensive stance, blocking, how to read your opponent, and Raya followed along with every step.

"How am I doing?" she said, eagerly mimicking Nigel's every move.

"Excellent," he said, and she swelled with pride.

"Soup's ready!" chirped Jessica, and the children circled around the campfire for dinner. Nigel sat down next to Joey and Raya, across from Jessica and the ever-silent Jackson. Someone was missing.

"Where's Sammy?"

The children frowned.

"I'm sure he's fine," said Joey. "He's a smart kid. But I'll go check outside, just in case." He set down his bowl of soup and stepped out. Jessica and Raya turned to Nigel, eyes sparkling.

"Nigel! In the meantime, can you tell us about another mission? What about Operation B.U.T.T.?"

Nigel flushed. "No, I will _not_ tell you about that one!"

"Awww," said Jessica. "But you'll tell us about another one, won't you? I don't care what Sammy says, you and your stories are the best thing that has ever happened to us. We believe in you, Nigel, and we want to do everything we can to help your mission to stop the GKND!"

"Thank you, Jessica, that means a lot to me," said Nigel, and he really meant it. "I want the GKND to pay for what they've done, for destroying the Kids Next Door and making your childhood miserable."

"He's lying!"

Nigel's head shot up; Sammy ran into the cave waving a photo, Joey sprinting after him. Nigel's confidential file was tucked under Sammy's arm.

"He's part of the GKND!" shouted Sammy, pointing at the photograph of Nigel giving a teary-eyed salute in a spacesuit. "I found this photo in the file, it says Nigel joined the GKND! He's a traitor to the Kids Next Door!"

"No, I would never betray the Kids Next Door!" yelled Nigel, but as soon as he said it, he wasn't so sure he believed it. His memory had been erased after all, so how could he know what really happened? The only evidence he had was in that folder, and it said that Nigel was a member of the evil GKND.

"That's not true, is it?" Jessica stared at him, eyes brimming with tears. "You're not actually GKND, are you?"

"I'm _not_ \- I mean- I _was_ ," Nigel stammered. "I can't remember! I don't know what happened, I barely remember joining the GKND!"

"So you _are_ GKND," said Raya softly. Jackson shook his head.

"Maybe I was in the GKND," said Nigel, desperately trying to explain himself. "But even though I was a GKND operative, I would never betray the Kids Next Door. You have to believe me!"

But the children stood tense and silent, except for Jessica's sniffling. Sammy put his arm around her and pulled her away from Nigel, as if he was protecting her from him. The fire crackled in the silence, throwing shadows over Nigel's face. He felt like a monster, terrorizing this small band of children. He didn't know what was worse, Sammy's look of contempt or Raya's crestfallen face. Only Joey looked pensive, brows knit together, as if he was still undecided.

 _Thump_.

Something hit the roof of the cave.

 _Thump. Thump, thump._

The party peered out into the night. It was raining, but it wasn't just rain. There were golf ball-sized lumps falling from the sky. Nigel's first thought was hail, but it wasn't cold enough and the lumps were too mushy to be ice. In fact, the rain was greenish, which made the lumps look just like-

"Boogers!" Raya couldn't help it and giggled. "It's raining boogers!" She dashed outside, holding out her hands. "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen! I have to catch one!"

"No-" Nigel leapt over the campfire, pushing the other kids aside.

Raya stared up into the night sky, grinning as a green blob hurtled towards her outstretched fingertips.

"No Raya, don't touch the green rain!" He pushed her and she fell backwards into the cave, he could see the kids tensing up, angry that he'd pushed her, ready to fight him, when the squishy lump hit the back of his head.

It stuck to him and began to glow, and Nigel could feel it growing hotter and hotter, like a warm ball of cheese melting on his head. A haze drifted over his eyes, and he fell.


	5. Chapter 5 Misdirections

**Chapter 5. Misdirections**

* * *

 **~2x5~ Hands and Half-smiles**

With their friendship stronger than ever, Abby and Hoagie were back to being investigation buddies. Lenny stopped by in the evenings on occasion to catch up, but Abby was telling him less and less and relying more and more on Hoagie, which made him quite thrilled. Sometimes she'd stop by his locker to talk shop about their research plans later. He'd almost convinced himself that she was doing this just as an excuse to say hi to him.

Today, she was waiting for him at his locker, eager to tell him all about the latest Kids Next Door artifact she was after. Some vague description of it, it was some kind of book, it was very powerful and hidden in a secret location, the usual details, Hoagie was only half-listening, half day-dreaming again, when they rounded the corner and he immediately stopped and backed up.

"Oh no, uh-" he pulled at Abby's elbow. "Let's not go this way. Er, how about we take a different hallway?"

"Why? What's wrong with this hall?"

She peered around the corner. A couple freshman were milling around. A blonde girl stood at her locker, flouncing her poofy hair as another girl stood shyly next to her.

"Don't tell me- it is because of Valerie and Marybeth?"

Hoagie didn't say anything, but his bright red ears did.

"You're not afraid of them, are you?"

He was suddenly very preoccupied with looking at his shoelaces. "I... they're… let's just go around them, ok?"

"What'd they do?"

He couldn't look up. "They, well… they threw eggs at me, ok? And they like to make fun of me for not having any friends..."

Of all things, Abby started laughing. "Boy, don't listen to them! They're just mean girls, it's what they do. You know, Valerie's only mean to you because she's bitter."

"What?"

"Yeah, she's mad because she happens to be struggling in math right now, but you have the highest grade in the class. She might even be kicked out of honor roll."

"Oh." Hoagie was stunned. "But Marybeth, she was also-"

"-she'll do just about anything for Valerie's approval. You ever notice how sycophantic she is, hanging off of Valerie's every word, desperately trying to win her admiration?"

"Wow." Hoagie had never looked at these two girls that way before. Suddenly, they seemed a lot less scary.

"How do you know all these things about them?"

"Abby makes it a point to know things," she smirked. She was good at reading people. And she had that key to the school filing cabinets.

And while some people liked to stalk their crushes on Facebook; she liked to peruse their permanent records. Hoagie's was almost squeaky clean, however. Nice kid, good grades, maybe fell asleep in history a couple times.

"If Abby was a better person, she'd tell you not to give a crap and forget about them," said Abby, but she was smiling that half-smile Hoagie knew too well. "... or we could mess with them."

"What do you mean?"

"Just follow my lead, flyboy," Abby grinned, and picked up Hoagie's hand.

"Abby?" His cheeks felt as hot as a stove top as they walked hand-in-hand down the hallway.

Abby was looking straight ahead, poker-faced. Or was she half-smiling? It was hard to tell. Her eyes shifted and caught Hoagie looking at her. If anything, she looked slightly amused. He quickly looked away, down the hall.

He could see Valerie turning her head with a malicious grin at him and he watched it drop from her face just as quickly. Marybeth was shaking Valerie's shoulder and pointing, and Valerie slapped her on the arm and yelled, "shut up, Marybeth, I see it too!", to which Marybeth cringed.

They rounded the corner at the end of the hallway and Abby turned to Hoagie, snorting with laughter. "Did you see Valerie's face drop? Priceless!"

She let go of his hand and he was all too aware of it. A mixture of relief and disappointment washed over him, his ears slowly turned pale white again. His hand was still warm, however, and he could feel the imprint of her palm resting against it, as if a ghost hand were still holding on to him.

"Yeah, priceless," he echoed, and gave a small chuckle. It had been a pretty funny face.

"You've been a good friend to me, Hoagie. Don't say Abby never did anything good for you either."

Abby gave him one last look, one last amused half-smile, and left him at the cafeteria entrance to go do some research during lunch.

As she turned away from him, her half-smile suddenly turned into a full smile.

That was nice.

Moreover, she wouldn't mind doing it again.

* * *

 **~3~ Cookie Colors**

"Cookie, you color so beautifully."

Ace lowered his head next to Kuki's so that they were almost cheek-to-cheek, watching her doodle with crayons before class. Kuki was overcome with that weirdly intriguing smell of leather and cinnamon that emanated from Ace, and his words flowed over her like honey and made her heart patter.

"You have the hands of a true _artista_." He gingerly picked up her drawing hand and turned it over slowly, running his fingers across hers. Kuki felt her cheeks warm and her head was feeling fuzzy, and she kind of wanted him to stop and kind of didn't. She quickly cleared her throat.

"So, what do you think? Is my drawing any good?"

"It's gorgeous," Ace said, without looking away from Kuki's face. "You're a master. You know, you should come over to my house sometime and we could color together. We could color all day."

She giggled nervously and Ace looked pleased. She asked, "Well, how many crayons do you have? And which set? Are they Crayola?"

He frowned. "Uh- uh Crayola crayons? I don't know if we have any-"

"No crayons!?"

He looked startled.

"Well, how are we supposed to color if you don't even have any crayons? _Sheesh_!" Kuki rolled her eyes and he dropped her hand flabbergasted.

"But- I- I didn't actually mean- when I said coloring… that's not what I meant…" He sat back down at his desk and tried to say what he meant but couldn't figure out a good way to say it.

Kuki smiled. She knew exactly what he had meant.

She picked up a red crayon and continued coloring in her doodle, and, grinning, realized there was only one guy in the whole school whose opinion she actually cared about. In fact, he was all she could ever think about, whether she was sitting bored in class or getting yelled at by her parents or being hit on by some other guy.

It was always his face, his corn-colored hair, his wrinkled tee and worn-out sneakers. His bangs over his green eyes. The way he said "Oi" whenever he saw some slick-talking guy trying to corner her in the halls. The way his fingers fumbled and floated just above her face, hesitating, as if he wanted to touch her cheek or her hair, and always dropping them awkwardly to his pocket at the last second. The way she felt around him, like there was a warm glowing spark inside her. Like everything was going to be ok. Like she wasn't sitting alone in the darkness anymore. Like she was in love.

 _That's it_ , she decided. _I'm in love. And his name is Wally Beatles._

* * *

 **~2x5~ The Start of Something**

Abby was about to do something she'd never done before.

She'd never had to before. With Maurice, he had showed up at her doorstep, all gentlemanly with the bowtie and the flowers and the nice outfit. And with Heinie, well, it was mostly the bottle of soda that did the talking.

But this was the first time that Abby decided to start a relationship. How hard was it to ask somebody out? All the guys she knew complained about it all the time, but it really wasn't that hard, was it? Just a couple words, a quick question and bam! Relationship started.

Hoagie was pushing zillions of loose wires and wood scraps and toolkits into his locker, trying to get it to close, when someone tapped him, or more like jabbed him, in the back. He yelped and turned in surprise.

"Whoa! Don't sneak up on me like that! Oh, hey Constance."

The girl looked up at him from a woolly white turtleneck, a sweater so fluffy that it made her look like a big pillowcase wearing glasses. She cocked her head to the side.

"Hello, Hoagie. Did you hear about the big birthday party on Friday?"

He frowned. "Uh, no, I'm not exactly the kind of person who gets invited to parties."

"It's at my house. So you can be my plus-one."

"Oh wow! Sure!" He'd never been invited to a real party before! Suspicion flickered across his face. "Wait, this isn't a prank, is it?"

"No."

"All right!" he fist-pumped the air and spotted Abby Lincoln turning the corner of the hallway. He couldn't wait to tell her to tell her the exciting news. "Hey A-"

Constance saw Abby heading towards them, quickly grabbed Hoagie's collar, yanked him down to her level, and then mashed her lips against his.

Abby's books fell and slapped the floor, Hoagie let out a muffled noise, and Constance didn't move her creepy blue eyes from Abby as she held Hoagie down in a lip-lock. She pushed him back up and walked away impassively.

"Bye, see you at the party."

Abby placed her hands on her hips and waited until Constance was out of earshot before unleashing her wrath.

"Oh hell no! Constance? Really?! Boy, don't be an idiot!" Her red cap whipped his head. Maybe if she got mad at him he wouldn't notice that her heart had frozen and sunk twenty stories in her stomach when she saw them kissing.

Hoagie was utterly bewildered, having just been unexpectedly kissed and then yelled at within the span of a minute.

"What's wrong with Constance?"

"She's creepy as hell! Did you notice she didn't even blink while she was kissing you? That girl has the emotional range of a potato!"

Hoagie had noticed, and it was a little weird. But on the other hand, he had just been kissed, and by someone who he legitimately might have a chance with. The situation was a bit unclear. Abby was clearly mad, though.

"She's not that bad, you don't have to be so snarky about it!"

"Oh shut it, lover boy." Her voice was cold as ice.

She stormed away, while Hoagie's too-full locker exploded and scraps of wood and screws and wires rained down on the bewildered boy.

* * *

 **~3x4~ Not So Ice After All**

Wally curled and uncurled his fingers, trying to stay awake.

He thought it might be easier if he listened to Ms. Thompson's math lecture first, it might give him a head start for tutoring. Then Abby wouldn't have to explain everything from scratch. Ms. Thompson's voice droned. Why did she have to make math sound so boring? Negative numbers were so much cooler when Abby explained them. He rested his head in the crook of his arm. A quick break. Then he'd go back to listening…

His footsteps echoed plaintively in the dark corridor. _Tap tap_ , _tap tap_. He was running now. _Tap tap tap tap!_ But the corridor was black and it stretched out infinitely. How was he ever going to get there?

He ran. He had to make it. He had an incredibly important message to deliver. But time was running out. So he ran and ran but he couldn't reach the end of the corridor. There was a blue light coming from behind him. It was too late!

People snickered.

Wally's eyes snapped open.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Wallabee," said Ms. Thompson, leaning over his desk. "I don't think it's appropriate to be saying ' _I love you_ ' to a teacher-" the class was howling with laughter now, "-and normally I would dock you for sleeping during class, but it won't matter because you're probably going to flunk out tomorrow anyways after our pop test… Um, I probably shouldn't have said that."

His head was spinning. The bell rang, sparing him more embarrassment, and his classmates filed out, glancing back at him with laughter.

He gathered his stuff. Was there really going to be a test tomorrow? Had he really just said "I love you" to a teacher? How humiliating! He couldn't remember saying it, he must've been asleep and dreaming about something else. Regardless, he was screwed for the exam tomorrow.

There was a sinking feeling in his gut that he wasn't going to make it. The same way he never made it to the end of that corridor in his dreams, he felt like he might not make it through that test tomorrow. What if he got shipped to Australia and never came back?

He cursed so loudly, he startled a group of freshman girls in the hallway, and they _eeped!_ and scuttled away from him.

 _Calm down_ , he told himself. It wasn't over yet. He still had a chance to pass that test.

His phone beeped. Email.

It was from KANGAROO AIRLINES. Flight to Australia, Reservation Confirmation for Wallabee Beatles, it read. What? No, that couldn't be right… Wally immediately dialed his mother.

"Oh honey," she said sadly. "You weren't supposed to see that until _after_ you flunked your test."

"But I haven't flunked it yet!" he shouted. People stared in the hallways, he didn't care.

"Wally, be realistic. We've known and accepted long ago that you just weren't smart enough to make it through high school. Do you know how much your father and I have scrimped and saved to buy these plane tickets to send you to military school? You should be grateful."

"It's not over yet!" he screamed and hurled his phone into the lockers. It left a dent in somebody's locker. The phone fell to the ground, shattered.

It didn't matter anyways. After tomorrow, he'd be gone forever. All because he was too stupid to pass a math test.

Wally dropped himself to the floor, where he sat against the lockers, crouching, elbows on knees, head in his hands.

Some time later, he didn't know how long, time seemed irrelevant now that he had none of it left, someone found him sitting there.

"Wally, what's wrong?" Her hand was on his sleeve. "You weren't answering your phone-"

Kuki.

He glanced up. It was the last person he wanted to see.

Kuki, her glossy black hair, her delicate cheekbones, her eyebrows furrowed together and her mouth drawn in a small line, the perfect look of concern, she was simply radiating beauty, emanating goodness, an angel of perfection staring down at him, him, a worm in the dirt, crawling, writhing, ugly, so easily picked up and pinched to death. Kuki was so good it hurt him. And even if by some miracle he could do something to deserve her, he would never see her again after tomorrow.

Was he crying? Was he wiping his face with his sleeve?

"Go away," he muttered. He couldn't stand to look at her anymore.

"What happened?" She crouched next to him. She was still touching his arm.

Why did she have to look at him like that? Why couldn't she hate him, call him stupid like everyone else? It would make it easier to leave her behind.

"Leave me alone. I don't wanna talk to you." She wasn't leaving.

"Is this because of the math test?"

"No," he said. _Yes_ , he thought. "It's over," he said. _Everything's over. My life is over._

"What do you mean? What's over?" Her lip trembled. "I thought you, I thought we-"

"You thought wrong." The words were ice and he couldn't stop them. It was better this way. She would be glad to see him go.

Her face was scrunched up, broken. Another beautiful thing he'd broken. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she made no effort to hide them.

"Stop it," she said, and now Wally had the urge to put his arm around her to comfort her in a weird twist of emotion. But he didn't.

"Stop it," she repeated, crying. "Stop acting so stupid."

He froze.

"No, I didn't mean it like that-" she hastily wiped her eyes but it was too late. He turned away from her. She was facing the back of his neck now, and he wouldn't turn around.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" she said, but she got nothing but the back of his jacket. Wally didn't turn around, Wally didn't say anything. It was a cold, empty silence. It was almost worse than being alone.

Kuki pulled herself up, holding a hand up to her mouth, as if she was barely able to keep her face from shattering into pieces. She ran away.

Now Wally was truly alone.

* * *

 **~3x5x2~ Where's Wally?**

 _See? I told you so._

Kuki read and reread Ashley's text in her mind over and over as she curled into a crying ball on her bed. Her friend was right all along, Wally didn't actually care about her. It was all a ruse, a farce, a game that she had been duped into playing, and for a second she actually fell for it. But in reality, she was nothing more than a toy. A Raggedy Ann. An ugly porcelain doll. Used for kicks and then cast aside. Now she was back to sitting alone in the blackness. Maybe she had never left the darkness. The darkness had never left her. It was one and the same thing. She was perpetually the girl from her nightmares, curled up, crying alone in the darkness. Alone, always alone, until that blue light happened and she woke up. Where was that blue light now? Why couldn't she wake up from this?

Her phone rang; she didn't want to answer it. It stopped ringing.

It rang again.

She begrudgingly looked at it. It was Abby.

Slowly, even though her arm felt heavy like it was made of lead, she accepted the call.

The first thing Abby asked was if Kuki had seen Wally around. He hadn't shown up for tutoring and Abby thought he might hanging out with Kuki.

Kuki started crying again.

There was a pause and then a shuffling at the other end, as if Abby were rearranging something. "All right, girl," she said gently. "Tell me what happened."

Kuki hiccuped into the phone and told her everything. About the pop math test that Ms. Thompson had scheduled, about how Wally smashed his phone, about how she found him sitting in the halls, about how he told her to go away, about how she'd accidentally told him to quit acting stupid.

And now he was missing and Abby couldn't find him. Abby was afraid that Wally would try to skip the math test tomorrow, which would mean he'd automatically flunk it and get shipped off to military school.

"Military school?" This was the first Kuki heard of that.

"Yeah, if he flunks, he's kicked out and sent to Australia."

"Oh no." Suddenly she was worried for him. Even though she was supposed to be mad at Wally, she was still worried about him. "So he's convinced he's going to fail and get sent away…" she realized. "But why wouldn't he tell me that!"

"Because he's afraid," said Abby. "He's afraid of losing you."

"I don't understand." If he didn't want to lose her, why would he push her away? Kuki was shaking her head, even though Abby couldn't see her. "Abby, I need some time to think about this."

Abby understood. "Kuki, holler if there's anything Abby can do for you. I mean it. Call me anytime."

"I will," said Kuki quietly. "Just promise me you'll find him."

* * *

Well, at least it sounded like Kuki was feeling a little better at the moment, but Abby still had a problem. Wally was missing. And Abby was not ready to let him throw away all of their hours of tutoring and give up on that math test.

Ok, so he definitely wasn't with Kuki. She could try Bruce. She found his cell number and called it (found courtesy of her super-sleuthing skills), but he didn't know. She found Wally's home phone number, but his mother hadn't seen him either. She even tried Wally's dad's work, and after being yelled at by an angry voice ( _How did you get this number? This is a top-secret Company Inc. phone number for adults only!_ ) she was finally connected to Mr. Beatles, who also hadn't seen Wally.

Hm.

Someone else came to mind, who might know where he was, and she almost dropped her phone thinking about him. Were Hoagie and Wally friends, maybe? She was in no mood to call Hoagie, who she had caught smooching with the creepy Constance a couple of hours ago. Thinking about it still made her pissed.

But she didn't have any other choice, did she?

"Hey!" he answered her call, cheerfully as ever.

 _Hey yourself, you stupid idiot_. She thought it, but of course didn't say it. "Have you seen Wally?" she asked coldly.

But he hadn't.

She groaned. Now she was starting to worry.

"Did you try Kuki?" Hoagie suggested.

"Yes," She answered curtly. She wasn't about to open that can of worms.

"Oh, hm, what about his house? Or his other friends, Bruce and Joe?"

Aha, she forgot about Joe! "No, I haven't called Joe. I'll do that, bye."

It was such a cold, quick goodbye that Hoagie sounded concerned. "Abby, are you ok?"

"I'm fine!" she managed to snap before she hung up.

She was still fuming when she dialed Joe's cell, but he didn't answer.

"Argh!" She slammed down her phone. But she knew where to find him.

* * *

 **~2x5~ Balooka**

Lime Ricky's wasn't supposed to be open today, but Abby could hear voices inside the bar anyways. From what she knew about Joe, there was a good chance she'd find him here, and she also had a hunch he would know where Wally had disappeared. She snuck behind the building to where there was a broken window at the back entrance, shoddily covered up with planks of wood. She reached inside, through the broken pane, groping for the lock on the other side, but her hand dug into a shard of glass and was sliced open.

"Ah!" She cursed and withdrew her bleeding hand.

"Need some help?"

She jumped.

"Hoagie? What are you doing here?"

"I had the same idea you did! I used to know Joe, I figured if he's not answering his cell, he might be hanging out here."

"Why do you care about finding Wally all of a sudden?"

He shifted nervously but Abby couldn't make out his face in the dark. "You sounded pretty upset on the phone, so I wanted to make sure that you were, I mean, that Wally was ok. I guess he's sort of my friend, maybe? So can I help you?"

Abby clutched her dripping hand, making up her mind. Finally, she relaxed. "I've got a bandage in my knapsack. Can you grab it for me?"

He nodded, unzipped her pack, pulled out a roll of gauze and a water bottle, and helped her rinse off the wound and wrap it up. With a bandaged hand, Abby punched through the remaining glass pane: there was a tinkling and then a _click_ as she finally managed to open the lock from the inside.

"Whoa," whispered Hoagie in awe. He'd never illegally broken into anywhere before.

"Follow me, quietly," she whispered to him. "Don't let the pirates see you. All we need to find is Joe. Or Wally, if he's here."

They tiptoed carefully through a damp corridor towards the sound of laughter, where they reached a door leading into the main room of bar. Abby motioned towards the door, opening it just a crack for them to peer through.

Hoagie was relieved to see the bar was much emptier than the first time he had been there, when he had to save Abby from the clutches of a pirate gang. Only three tables were occupied. One had a couple scraggly-looking pirates, one had a group of men in suits chewing licorice and drinking from mugs of root beer, and the last one had Joe twirling a bottle of cola, head lowered in a serious conversation with a man in white and someone wearing a football helmet.

"Is that _Lenny_?" he whispered to Abby, but she was only silent and frowning. He couldn't tell if she was surprised or angry, or maybe neither, to see him there.

The man in white stood up, smoothing down his crisp white suit jacket and fixing his already impeccable gray hair. He shook hands with Joe, and then he and Lenny walked away from the table.

"Now," said Abby, and the two of them slithered into the bar, where Abby grabbed Joe by the neck of his trench coat and dragged him out the back door. "Quiet," she hissed into his ear before he could protest. "Or I'll call your mother and tell her where you are."

Outside in the back alley, Joe scowled as he recognized their faces in the moonlight. He glanced shiftily side to side beneath the rim of his fedora, but there was nowhere to run. He tilted his head up with a forced smile.

"Abigail Lincoln, I should've known that was you. What'll it be? The usual?" Joe glanced at Hoagie. "Why'd you bring this loser over here?"

Hoagie scowled at Joe. "Remind me, why aren't we friends anymore?"

"Not now, Joe," said Abby. "We're looking for Wally."

Joe's eyebrow twitched, just barely, but just enough that Abby noticed. "Wally, huh? Maybe I've seen him, maybe I haven't. Can't remember." He idly swirled around the soda in his bottle.

A sideways glance from Abby caught Hoagie's eye. Was she half-smiling at him again? He didn't know what this look meant.

"Well, if you decide you remember something useful," she said. "We could make a sweet deal."

"C'mon Abby, do you really think I'd sell out my friend that easily?"

"No, you're right. It's not worth a couple of lollipops." She grabbed Hoagie's arm. "Hoagie, let's go."

Joe's eyebrow shot up again and even Hoagie noticed it this time. "Wait, lollipops?" he stared at them and lowered his voice. "How did you-? I mean, they're highly illegal for non-adults, and I thought the pirates were hoarding all of the lollipops left-"

"Don't ask where they're from. That's not part of the deal," said Abby with a smirk.

"Fine!" said Joe urgently. "I'll tell you! Wally came by not more than an hour or two ago, real depressed, I don't think I've ever seen him look so bad before, kept muttering something about a cookie and Australia, I don't know. Anyways, I gave him some of my special potation, if you know what I mean."

Hoagie didn't know what he meant, but Abby must've, because her face darkened. "Then where'd he go?" she asked.

"Beats me," Joe shrugged. "Didn't ask. Though considering the state he's in and the goods he's carrying, I bet he'd want to be alone right about now."

"Great friend you are," said Abby with sarcasm. "Here, your reward. Don't look too closely at them."

Joe's eyes glimmered as Abby reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of lollipops, the same ones Kuki had stolen from Stickybeard's beard last week. She tried not to snicker as she clutched Hoagie's arm and ran off.

"Oh my god, I haven't had a real lollipop in- wait, this is... What's on them? Is that _hair_? That's so gross! This is so unfair! Where the hell did you get these? Tell me!" Joe was shouting after them.

"That wasn't part of the deal!" yelled Abby back as she and Hoagie disappeared into the night. Once they got far enough away, they glanced at each other and burst into laughter.

"That was brilliant!" said Hoagie. "I can't wait to tell Constance about this adventure!"

Abby had been snorting with laughter but suddenly she sobered up. For a second, she forgot she was supposed to be mad at Hoagie for whatever he had going on with Constance.

"Oh, right, Constance. Remind me, what do you see in her again?"

"Well, it's not so much what I see in _her_ ," Hoagie replied truthfully, "It's the fact that she sees something in _me_. A girl who's in my league is actually interested in _me_."

"Are you telling me the only reason you like Constance is because you think she's the only girl interested in you? Even though she's super creepy and has like no emotions and is about as exciting as a dumpling? I'm telling you, you could do so much better-"

"Stop it!" It was the first time Abby had ever heard Hoagie yell. "Stop talking bad about her! I finally have a shot with someone, so stop ruining it for me!"

Abby shut up. He was right, she was giving him a really hard time about it. And if he really did like Constance… well, at least he was happy. She dipped her head in the dark so that her cap threw shadows across her face, hiding her expression from him. Her tone softened. "So, any ideas where Wally would go if he didn't want anybody to find him?"

Hoagie calmed down and thought. "Well, there was this one place in the woods we went once, back when he was teaching me how to fight..."

* * *

 **~2x5x4~ You're Home, Go Drunk**

They heard him before they could see him.

 _"Lyin'in the woods… da na-na na-na..._

 _'Cuz'm gonnafail… da na-na na-na…_

 _Stupidssstupid stupid… da na-na na-na…_

 _An'now sh'hates'me… da na-na na-na…"_

A glance was exchanged between Hoagie and Abby. Worry on Hoagie's face, one cocked eyebrow on Abby's, as they tumbled out into the small moonlit clearing in the woods. Wally was sprawled out on the pine needles, waving around a can of soda pop in his hand, surrounded by _one_... _two... three… eight... nine... ten... eleventeen..._ (Hoagie lost count after a while), well, _a lot_ of empty soda cans.

"Oi! Wuddyou guys doin' here?" Wally waved the can in his hand, pointing at them. "Go away! I dunn wanna talk to you…" He threw the can at them but it missed them by at least ten feet. It hit a tree and fell into the bushes.

"Wally, you're on a sugar high!" Hoagie gasped, terrified. "Why are you- did you really just- _all_ of that soda- on your own?"

"Well DUH!" shouted Wally, trying to sit up, but failing miserably. He flopped back onto the floor and hiccuped while Hoagie looked around frantically.

"Relax, Hoagie," said Abby. "You look like you've never seen somebody sugar high before."

"Of course I haven't!" he replied, flustered. "Soda and candy are illegal for anyone under 18! When would I have ever?"

Abby chuckled, Hoagie's innocence was adorable.

Hoagie was not only flustered, but confused. Why Wally was lying in the forest, drinking soda pop by himself into oblivion? It didn't take long to find out when Wally began mumbling to himself, something about a girl, while groping around on the ground next to him, trying to find the can he had thrown at them.

" _She'shssh_ the idiot!" Wally slurred. "I should go tell her that." He sat up again, and this time he managed it for a few seconds, swaying a little bit, but then keeled backwards again, mumbling. "I hate her cute little nose and her, her shtupid pretty hair. Why is she so _nice_? I- I should go tell'er how mush I duncare about her. Yeah, because I _don't_. I don't care about her. At all. Sh-she needs to know- that I don't- I don't, _give_ a crud… and that she's so pretty and I'm gonna missh her shomuch it hurts and that she _sucks_. Yeah. I don't give a ass's rat."

"Ohhh, so this is about Kuki, isn't it?" Hoagie looked at Abby, and finally told him the whole story. He nodded solemnly.

"Wow, love really screws things up sometimes, doesn't it?" he said, glancing back at Abby.

She exhaled sharply, staring at Hoagie's caramel hair, moonlight shimmering on his glasses. "Yeah, it does," she agreed, still looking at him.

"L-love is stupid!" came a gurgling voice. "'S why I dun love anybody. 'Cept you guys, you guys are the best," slurred Wally.

Abby straightened her cap. "Ok, here's what we're gonna do," she said matter-of-factly. "We're gonna sober him up, put him to bed, and then make sure he makes it to his math test tomorrow. Now, I don't know where he lives, but I could easily sleuth that out-"

"He can crash with me," interrupted Hoagie. "At my place, and that way I can make sure he goes to school. It'll be like a slumber party!"

"Nooo," wailed Wally. "I hate slumber parties. Don't make me wear those braids again, I dunn wanna be a girl…"

Abby nodded at Hoagie. Now all they had to do was get that fit Australian teenager off the forest floor and to Hoagie's house. She motioned to Hoagie, who crouched down on the other side of Wally, and together they hoisted him up halfway. Then on the count of three, they grabbed him under the armpits and yanked him up so he was on his feet.

"Whoa!" said Wally, opening and closing his eyes. "Why are the four of you spinning me around like that?"

With one of Wally's arms around each of their necks, Abby and Hoagie dragged him away, out of the forest, towards Hoagie's home. It was a slow and strenuous process, because Wally did not feel very much like walking.

"Just leave me behind-" he mumbled. "It's too late for me. You guys go ahead, save yourselves… "

Abby glanced sideways and caught Hoagie's eye, her mouth thin and twitching, moonlight outlining her lips, and once again he couldn't fully decipher her expression. A little bit of amusement, a little bit of exasperation. And maybe something else, but he couldn't tell what it was.

One long haul and several groans from Wally later, they arrived at Hoagie's doorstep.

"You make sure he gets to school and takes that exam, all right?"

Hoagie nodded.

"All right." Abby stared at him a bit longer than he was expecting. She looked tired, but even so the moonlight glowed on her dark skin, played with the shadows on her face, and there was something beautiful and ethereal about the way she turned and loped away, bathed in moonlight. Hoagie suddenly realized she looked sad. He'd seen Abby's poker face, he'd seen her annoyed, and he'd seen her in that mildly amused, half-smiling state. But he'd never seen her look sad before.

"Good night," he whispered, though she was long gone and there was just Wally's head flopping onto his shoulder, babbling in his sleep.

* * *

 **~1~ Visitors**

"-what are we going to do with...?"

"-no, drag him over here-"

"-try scraping it off with a stick, don't touch it with your hands!"

The voices in the cave sounded muffled, fading in and out, as though Nigel was hearing them talk through a wall. His body felt hot and aching. He could still feel where the lump of green rain had hit his skull.

"-ok, there's not much left-"

"-good, wipe off the rest with a rag and then burn it-"

"-are we safe now?"

"-no, we can't stay here-"

"-what about...?"

"-we'll carry him."

"-he's burning…"

Nigel couldn't tell what was going on, it was as if somebody was pressing a fog down onto all of his senses, everything was hazy and muffled and distorted. He was sweating, and could barely open his eyes. There were hands on him. His head throbbed where he'd gotten hit by the green rain, he closed his eyes. His eyes fluttered again, but everything was black fog. There were raindrops hitting his face. Were they outside? The raindrops were cold and he didn't like it.

"No…" he moaned. He was so hot he was shivering.

"Sh!" said a voice. Nigel's eyes fluttered back closed.

Black.

There was a buzzing noise. Nigel didn't like it, he wanted it go away. The buzzing noise grew louder. He recognized it. "No," he murmured. "That noise, they're coming…"

Hushed whispers, shuffling feet. Rain trickling.

"-we're going to put you down, okay Nigel? Don't move-"

Lightning flashed in the distance. _One, two, three, four, five seconds_. Rumbling. A mile away. Lightning again. _One, two, three…_ A hum. A zap. This was no lightning. A whirring. Footsteps. Voices.

"Show yourself!" boomed a voice. "By the authority of the Galactic Kids Next Door, I command you to reveal yourself!"

Silence. Rain pattering.

"We know you're here, Numbuh 1! Numbuh 274 told us everything. Tell us where you are, and nobody needs to get hurt."

Numbuh 1. That sounded familiar. That was him. He was Numbuh 1. But he didn't want to go with them. They were evil. "No, they're bad, I don't want to-" he muttered, and someone clamped a hand over his mouth. "Sh! You'll give us away!"

"This is your last warning, Uno! Or we're going to take you the hard way. You can't hide from us, you can't fight us. You remember what happens when you get hit with a S.N.O.T.-D.O.T., don't you Nigel? Send us a tracking signal, delays your reaction time, causes sensory distortion. It's only a matter of time before we find you."

There was a yell, a rustling of grass, as though someone was hacking away at the reeds.

"FOUND YOU! What? You, boy! What are you doing?"

A cool, calm voice answered. "Enjoying the rain. Doesn't it feel nice?"

"You. You're Wally's brother, aren't you? What are you doing out of school?"

"I like to come here. Alone. To enjoy the rain, you know. Then the weirdest thing happened. I swear, the rain turned green for a moment. And the green rain didn't feel very nice, so I wiped it off."

The mystery voice clicked its teeth. "You're lying. You're hiding something. Have you seen a teenager recently? Bald, sunglasses, traitor written all over his face?"

"No idea know who you're talking about. I think you have a bad case of _false alarm_."

There was a scuffling, and a fumbled clicking, as though someone was clumsily drawing a weapon.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Joey, voice clear and crisp.

"I'm not the law-breaker here. You're a contaminated sub-13 Earthling on the loose, which gives the GKND the power to do whatever they want with you. We're taking you back to school, and we don't care if it's alive or dead."

A pause. Then a shout. "Vigilantes, battle stations!"

The screams of five children pierced the air. Nigel was left concealed behind a rock, but he hoisted himself up over the edge just enough to glimpse what was going on.

It was the boy from the bus stop, the one who had attacked Nigel earlier, possibly named David. He was flanked by three silhouettes wearing bulky uniforms, and he was holding a neon blue device at Joey. It fired, once, a bright blue ball of light came shooting out, but Joey rolled onto his side on the ground away from it, and in one fluid motion, launched himself back up, slicing the air with his stick, and David stumbled back.

The four other children charged out into the clearing, Raya sprung at the person on the right, but he immediately punched her and she smashed into the ground.

Meanwhile, Sammy was shouting. "Beans!" Jessica reached into a knapsack and pull out a can of beans. Sammy loaded it onto a scrappy slingshot made of rulers duct-taped to rubber bands and launched it at the figure on the left.

"Carrots!" Jessica handed him a bunch of long, pointy carrots. They sailed through the air.

"Two-month old cafeteria leftovers!" Jessica scooped out something slimy with a spoon, and Sammy fired it. It landed with a _splotch_ on the figure on the left, and they toppled straight over, twitching on the ground.

"Got 'em!" Sammy and Jessica hi-fived.

The second figure in black chuckled and raised his foot to stomp on Raya. She saw the sole of his boot rise above her face and she gasped, throwing up her hands. She caught the shoe, and gripped it with all her strength, her arms quivering. He couldn't shake his boot free from her grasp, and she used it to push herself over and then hoist herself back up.

He growled at her, swinging his fists, but she leaned back this time. She watched him closely and mirrored his every movement, as if reading his thoughts, and she danced around him like a leaf in the air. He was growing impatient, determined to hit her, distracted by her relentlessness, when his boots got caught on something.

Jackson had crawled up next to him, right in his way, and tripped him. The figure went crashing into the ground.

Raya flashed Jackson a thumbs-up. He grinned back.

"Raya, look out!" screamed Jessica.

The third person in black had snuck up on Raya, and she was thrown aside into Jackson, and they went tumbling into the grass.

Except it wasn't a person. Jessica screamed again as the creature reached out a tentacle towards her.

"Leave her alone!" bellowed Sammy, throwing himself in front of her, holding his homemade slingshot, but he was out of ammunition. The tentacle wrapped around his leg and dragged him off, leaving Jessica grasping the air for his hand.

Joey and the teenager were still fighting.

David swung his sidearm at Joey's head, but the little boy blocked it with the end of his stick. He spun around, whipping his staff, and smacked the the teen's hand. Its fingers crumpled and the gun dropped to the ground.

David tried to charge at Joey, but even though he was nearly five heads taller than him, Joey knocked him back with his staff, _one! two! three!_ hits that the tall skinny teenager could barely shield himself from.

He fell, and Joey placed a foot squarely on his chest, stick at his throat.

"Let me and my friends go, and I'll let you go," said Joey with a cold, sharp edge, glancing at Sammy who was still being held upside down by a tentacle, another tentacle wrapped around his mouth. He shouted, muffled.

The teen struggled, but to no use. He glared at Joey, and then glanced at Sammy hanging upside down, something sticking out of his back pocket. David's mouth twitched.

"All right, fine," he said. "Clearly, you don't know anything about Numbuh 1. We'll forget this ever happened, and you can go back to running around these fields like the little brats you are." Joey slowly released his foot but kept his staff poised, allowing the teen to get up.

The teen grabbed his two companions stirring on the ground. "C'mon Numbuhs 366H and 296E, this was a mistake. These stupid kids don't know anything, Nigel Uno's not here."

"Sammy," reminded Joey, and the teen smirked.

"Of course."

All of a sudden, his tentacle-friend dropped Sammy, and before they could tell what was going on, David had grabbed something from Sammy's back pocket and thrown the boy back to the children.

"Thanks for the info!" shouted the boy, waving a file in the air, chuckling with his companions as they were suddenly bathed in blue light.

There was a hum and a blinding flash, but as much as Nigel strained his blurred eyes he couldn't tell what had happened. He just saw the attackers there one moment and gone the next.

"No!" yelled Sammy, pulling himself up out of the dirt. "The file! They stole Nigel's file from my pocket!"

But they were long gone. Joey shook his head.

Nigel's limbs were feeling tingly, as if they'd fallen asleep and were now coming back. It felt like ants crawling all over his body with tiny metal spikes attached to their feet. The cloud over his brain was starting to lift. He could sit up now, and he gazed at the five panting children standing proudly in the coming dawn, with dirt-smeared faces, torn clothing, bloodied knees.

"Why did you guys do that?" asked Nigel. "You think I'm a traitor, plus the GKND is incredibly dangerous. Why are you helping me?"

"Well, you helped us first!" said Raya, grinning proudly, her face smudged with dirt. "You pushed me out of the green rain and let it hit you instead."

"What we mean," said Joey, smiling beneath his thin-rimmed glasses. "Is that we believe in you, Nigel Uno. We don't think you betrayed the Kids Next Door."

Solemn nods from the children.

"I'm really sorry," squeaked a small voice. Sammy was looking distraught. "I should've trusted you and let you keep the file, Nigel. Then they wouldn't have stolen it."

"If it hadn't been for you, Sammy, I would probably be captured right now. And don't worry about the file, I've memorized what we need to know- the map." He smiled at them. "You guys were incredible. I haven't seen such teamwork since-"

 _Since my own sector,_ he almost said, but couldn't bring himself to say it.

Thinking about his sector sent a jab of pain into his side. Without the file, he had no more memories of Sector V. No more photographs, newspaper articles, documents, evidence of who he used to be and who his friends used to be. Now, it was back to him and his fickle memories, a vague dream of who he was.

That file was proof that he was once a somebody, and in the brief moment he had that file, he felt like somebody important. Now, he had nothing.

Joey put a hand on his shoulder, as if he knew what Nigel was thinking. "We know, Nigel," he said. "We know who you are."

Together, Nigel and the kids watched the sun break across the horizon, spilling rosy shades of pink and violent orange across the bottomless pit of space above them, shattering the night.

* * *

 **~?x?~**

"I am most displeased."

Dark black fingertips pressed against each other and began to glow red-hot.

David gulped.

"I'm sorry, Father. I could not track him down. But I was able to find this."

The skinny teenager pulled out Nigel's file, thick with information about the Kids Next Door and the GKND. Father snatched it and scoured the papers. The red-hot glow around his head cooled slightly.

"Yes..." he mused to himself, and groped at his mouth with his hand, as though he were trying to grab ahold of something that wasn't there. He shuffled through the pages, and came across one that was bright blue. "Oho! So that's what he's after..." He chuckled to himself. "Very well then."

David began to creep backwards, uncertain if he was still needed.

"David!" Father snapped his fingers. "Not a word to the GKND about this," he said, waving the blue map. "This will be our little secret. Everything else must continue as planned. We'll still get our revenge on that pipe-stealing, traitorous brat and all of his friends. But patience, child. Now go plan your birthday party with your siblings. Because it's going to be _delightful_."

* * *

AN: No real author's note, but here are A Ton Of Miscellaneous Fun Facts :D

-Hoagie really does have the highest math grade in the whole school. His grade is exactly 0.2% higher than Abby Lincoln's, a fact which drives her nuts. He loves to remind her about it too, which probably isn't helping.

-As for Abby's relationship history, we get the tiniest glimpse into her past lovers. Maurice makes an appearance, as does Heinie. Now, am I referring to Heinrich or Henrietta? It's purposefully vague, make of it what you will ;)

-In case you were wondering, all of the vigilantes are based on canon characters! (except one)

-Sammy and Jessica can be found as kindergarteners in Operation R.A.B.B.I.T. She's still got her lovely Hopsy Mopsy, the very same one!

-Operation D.I.A.P.E.R. taught us where babies come from (hint, it rhymes with -iladelphia) and also introduced us to baby Jackson! He's no longer a baby, but he still wears a beanie and is a pretty quiet guy. Also, I decided he's low-key a pyromaniac. He is probably the reason why matches should be stored "out of the reach of children".

-If you're still wondering who the only non-canon character in this entire story is, I'll give you a hint (look at my username ;P)

-ACRONYMS! Let's see, we've got S.N.O.T.-D.O.T. (the green booger rain) which stands for Slimey Nose Ooze Tracks - Decommissioned Operative Teens

-There's Operation C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.T.I.A.L (Nigel's file) which stands for Children's Organization's Full Information Disclosure: Entirely No Trusting Intergalactic Alien Lies

-And super fun fact, the blue map (which is not explicitly named), is actually named subfile S.U.B.-R.O.S.A. : Stashed Useful Backup - Recovery Of Secret Agency

-I haven't said this yet, but it's definitely time to: I love getting your feedback! Thanks to you for reviewing/faving/following/reading the story so far. I love hearing what you think. Whether you like it, hate it, or think it's "meh," I'd love to know that. Even if you leave a review that's nothing but the word "meh," I will read that comment again and again and again and treasure it forever *u*

-There's actually illustrations for each chapter O.o you can find them at my deviantart! (username man5ray)

HAPPY SATURDAY! :D


	6. Chapter 6 Connections

**Chapter 6. Connections**

* * *

 **~2x4~ Breakfast, Bacon, and Bromance**

Yawning, Hoagie swung a foot out of bed and stepped on something squishy.

The squishy mass rolled over and groaned. Oops, he completely forgot about Wally and stepped on him! He quietly got ready and luckily the blonde teen kept snoozing on his floor, at least until Hoagie opened the blinds and sunlight streamed in.

"Hrmgrmhrm… What? Where am I?" Wally threw off the flimsy blanket and sat up, rubbing his disheveled blond head.

"Hey, it's all ok, Wally, you're with me. Abby and I brought you here last night after, you know, in the woods, and I heard about the thing with Kuki, and well…" Hoagie treaded lightly, unsure of how Wally would react. Last night proved that Kuki was a sensitive subject. "I mean, how are you holding up?"

Wally pounded his face into his pillow and spoke muffled. "I can't believe this is all because of a stupid math test. I said stupid things. And now she hates me." He looked up at the wall, but not really looking. "What is this feeling? It's like pain, but it actually hurts. Pain has never actually hurt before." He suddenly looked at Hoagie, eyes wide like a puppy. "D'you think she'll want to be friends with me again? Not that I care…."

"I think you oughta tell her what you're really feeling," Hoagie replied sagely. "Be totally honest with her." Wally scowled and rubbed his head in pain. "Bit of a sugar crash headache, huh Wally?"

"Pfff, no! I don't get sugar crash headaches." Wally scoffed. "But seriously, dude, close the blinds, it's really bright out. And don't talk so loud either."

There was a knock at the door and it creaked open. "Are you up, dear? Breakfast is almost- oh my!" Ms. Gilligan stared at the tall blond boy on Hoagie's floor.

"Mom! Hi! Uh, this is Wally. Uh, is it ok if he joins us for breakfast?"

"Oh, um," she started. "You're Sid Beatles' boy aren't you? Sure. Sure! Uh, welcome, Wally."

Wally nodded slowly in acknowledgement, and Hoagie led the blonde down to the breakfast table. Tommy was already seated, and he wouldn't stop staring at Wally sitting sullenly across from him. Hoagie scurried into the kitchen to grab another plate for Wally, where his mother pulled him aside and whispered quietly.

"What!? No! No, Mom, I'm not gay!"

"Oh, ok dear. It's just that I've never seen you hanging out with girls before and you'd never had a girlfriend before…"

Hoagie groaned and walked back with Wally's extra plate. Wally was biting his lip to keep from laughing. Tommy was still staring, out of fear or fascination, Hoagie couldn't tell.

A door slammed open and Hoagie groaned again. His grandma hobbled out in her blue nightgown, mumbling in Yiddish. She adjusted her glasses, looking at Wally.

"Eh, who's this? So that's how our little boy swings now is it?"

"No, Grandma, I'm not gay-"

"Well, maybe you should be! Look at this _mensch_ , now that's a real man. So strong!" She raised her cane and poked Wally in the stomach. It bounced off of Wally's abs. "See? He didn't even flinch! He's got some _chutzpah_ , he does. Hogarth, you should take a lesson from him, you doughy schmuck-"

"All right, food's ready!" Ms. Gilligan carried out heaping stacks of golden pancakes and crisp sizzling bacon. Wally's eyes grew wide as he realized just how hungry he was, and he loaded up his plate. Hoagie's grandma watched contently as Wally shoveled hot food into his mouth. Ms. Gilligan chuckled nervously.

"So, Hoagie, you never told us how your project for the engineering fair went."

He looked darkly down at his plate. "It was a _plane_ disaster." He looked up briefly but nobody laughed. "It failed epically. I don't even know what happened! I could swear I triple-checked all of my calculations… anyways, it sucked."

"Naw, it kicked ass!"

Four heads looked up in surprise; these were the first words Wally had spoken during the entire meal. "I mean, just the idea that it could run on beans is pretty sick."

"Um, thank you, Wally," said Ms. Gilligan.

Hoagie couldn't help smiling.

* * *

They were on their way to school, a crisp but promising morning.

"Um, thanks again, man. For.. for, you know. Everything. You're all right." Wally said this awkwardly and then quickly smoothed down his messy hair unsuccessfully, just to have something to do with his hands. "And your family's pretty cool. Your mom makes some killer pancakes..."

"Yeah, I guess so," shrugged Hoagie. "No worries, Wally. And you're not gonna ditch the math test, are you? Abby'll be super pissed if you do."

Wally rubbed his face in his hands. "I have to do it, don't I? Even if I know I'll fail, I have to try."

"Yeah, that's it!" Hoagie fake-punched Wally's arm. They walked together all the way to the entrance to Wally's history class, right on time for once, where he raised his hand in goodbye.

"See ya, Bro-gie."

Hoagie waved back.

Almost like friends? No, just like friends.

* * *

 **~4x2x5x3~ The Test**

 _Tick tick. Tick tick._

Had the clock always been so loud? Had his palms always been so sweaty? Had his pencil lead always been so smudgy on his fingertips?

Wally was acutely aware of everything today. A fresh packet of math problems was slapped face-down on his desk, still warm from the copier. He drummed the eraser of his pencil nervously on the desk and suddenly realized he couldn't remember anything. What was the test about again? What was math? What were negative numbers?

 _Negative numbers_ , said a voice in his head that sounded just like Abby, _are numbers that are less than zero_.

"You have exactly 1 hour. You may begin… now."

There was a flurry of papers as the class flipped over their exams. Question 1, question 1, question 1. Wally had to refocus his eyes three times before he could calm down enough to read the question. _Question 1. What is the circumference of a circle with radius..._ Question 1 looked a lot like a problem Abby had made him solve last week. But the numbers were different. Could he do this? He took his best guess, trying to recreate the way he'd solved it before, but with different numbers.

Ok, next question.

Fifteen minutes later, onto page two. By some stroke of luck, all of the problems that he'd had to solve so far were pretty similar to the ones he'd gone over with Abby in the past couple weeks, except with different numbers. But there were still three pages to go.

The classroom door creaked open.

"Wallabee Beatles," said a voice.

His ears pricked up at the mention of his name. There was a girl in the doorway, reading from a slip of paper, lips pursed and glasses balanced on a tight little nose sticking out above a freshly starched pink blouse.

"Wallabee Beatles to the principal's office immediately."

Wally sneered at her. "Uh, I obviously can't right now, I'm in the middle of a test."

"Sh!" Ms. Thompson scolded him and turned to the girl. "Anna, how can I help you?"

Anna tapped her pencil on her clipboard and repeated, "He has to go. Now."

Ms. Thompson nodded at Wally. "Drop your pencil and go," she whispered to not disturb the other test-takers, but everyone had already stopped writing to watch Wally with curious white eyes.

"But my test-" he said. "I won't have time to finish it!"

"Aw, that's too bad, isn't it?" said his teacher. "Although it really wouldn't make a difference, would it?" She grinned malevolently.

"No!" Wally was almost shouting. Nobody was working on their exams anymore, everyone was watching him.

"You have to." Her voice was borderline evil. Before Wally could react, she had snatched his test away from him. "You can finish this when you get back." She smiled. " _If_ you get back in time."

"You can't do this!" Wally was yelling, the molten rage stewing inside of him again. "I have to finish that test!"

But she wouldn't give back his exam, and Anna was still standing upright in the doorframe, waiting for him.

"The sooner you leave, the sooner you might get back," was all Anna said.

Wally pulled a hand through his hair, then shoved aside his desk. He had no choice. He sprinted out the door, his feet slapping the hallway towards the principal's office.

"Hey!" shouted the girl after him. "No running in the halls!"

Wally didn't listen, he made it to the administrative offices in record time, flung open the glass doors, and charged into Principal Smelling's office.

"There you are," sneered the old man, bobbing his shiny bald head. "We were just about to talk about the terms of your expulsion. We warned you not to pick fights anymore, but you did anyways. Now your actions have consequences."

"A fight? But I haven't- not in weeks-" That's when he spotted the crop of blonde hair in the seat in front of him. The blonde head turned, facing Wally so that only he could see the dark, vindictive grin on his face. It was Bruce, and he had a massive, plum-colored eye.

"Yep, that's Wally for ya. He's the one that punched me before school this morning."

* * *

Wally's mind was bewildered. He hadn't hit another student, not in weeks. Why would Bruce pretend that Wally had punched him? They were supposed to be friends. He immediately denied it, but the principal wouldn't believe him.

"Sorry kid, but given your track record, I don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth. Now, about expelling you..."

Wally slumped forward. It was over. All he could see was Bruce watching him from the corner of his one good eye, grinning more and more as Wally slumped further onto the principal's desk. It was actually over, there was no way out this time. No Hail Mary of a chance.

 _Bang!_

Something crashed into the door behind them, and all three of them jumped. Wally turned to find Hoagie squished up against the glass door. He said something muffled, then peeled himself off the door and opened it, stumbling inside, rubbing his forehead.

"Ouch, didn't see the door right there, ran straight into it…" He looked at Principal Smelling and then at Wally, and frantically began to speak.

"Principal Smelling! Wally didn't do it! Whatever Bruce is saying, he's lying, because Wally was with me all morning before school, until class started! He didn't punch anybody, I can absolutely swear on it!"

Wally nodded, and Bruce's face was flushing, glaring at Hoagie.

Principal Smelling narrowed his eyes at the three of them. "Are you actually vouching for this delinquent, Hogarth?"

Hoagie nodded feverishly. "I swear on my whole Yipper card collection that I was with Wally all morning and he didn't get into a fight with anybody! Somebody else punched Bruce!"

The principal glanced at Bruce, the raging red color of his cheeks mingling with the purple of his eye.

"No, Hoagie's lying! It was Wally! Wally hit me! Expel him!"

The principal rubbed his temple. "Look, I can't let any of you go until I figure out who did this-"

 _Bang!_

This time, the glass door was slammed open.

"I know who did it," said the dark-skinned girl in the doorway. "And it wasn't Wally."

Abby's eyes glossed over the three teens, she was emotionless and poker-faced. "Let Wally go back to his math test, and I'll tell you who it was."

"Abigail Lincoln?" The principal threw up his hands in exasperation. "How many other annoying teenagers can we fit into my office? I might as well invite the whole school! How could you possibly know what's going on here, Miss Lincoln?"

"You know me, Mr. Principal. Abby makes it a point to know things." A half-smirk peeked out from beneath her red cap. "You won't believe some of the other things I know. Things that have been done right here, in this very office, on this very desk-"

"Ok, ok, fine!" The principal cut her off before she had a chance to finish. "Wallabee, you can go, for now. And if it turns out it really was you all along, so help me, they'll have to ship you to Australia in pieces!"

Wally didn't need to be told twice. He glanced at Abby and Hoagie with what he thought was a grateful expression on his face, and raced out the door.

"As for the rest of you, nobody leaves my office until I get a confession from whoever hit this young man…" Principal Smelling's voice was fading.

Wally's footfalls echoed in the hallways. _Tap tap tap tap!_ He didn't know how much time he had left, if any. But as long as he had an ounce of time, one minute, two minutes, he would keep running, keep fighting against the world that was trying to hold him down. _Tap tap tap tap!_

A girl, striding up the corridor in the other direction, looking down at her pink phone, long black hair cascading down her hunched shoulders, walking in a hurry, delicately carrying her backpack. At the sound of Wally's footsteps, she jerked her head up.

Kuki and Wally stared at each other.

Wally slowed down, even though he didn't have time to.

Their eyes passed over each other, silent. Over Kuki's shimmering black hair, her crisp white blouse tucked neatly into her skirt at the waist, her wide brown eyes. Over Wally's dishevelled, corn-colored hair, his wrinkled shirt and dirty jeans that he hadn't taken off since yesterday.

Both were quiet.

They passed each other.

Wally sped up, back into a run, but couldn't help glancing over his shoulder. She was looking back over her shoulder, too.

He reached his classroom and swung the door open to find Ms. Thompson looking disappointed that he had returned. She exhaled sharply, but handed Wally back his test. "20 minutes remaining," she said.

Wally had never worked so furiously in his life, picking up where he had left off, the gears in his heads churning like an old rusty machine oiled for the first time, his pencil was flying through the pages. _Just like we went through with Abby, just like that..._ Furiously furiously scribbling, when suddenly the bell rang.

Wally had a full page left that was blank.

"Pencils down."

Oh no.

His test was ripped from him before he could even think to keep working. His mind was numb, and he couldn't move as his classmates filed out of the class, some of them snickering at him.

Wally was the last one to get up, slowly packing up his stuff, passing by Ms. Thompson, who watched him walk out the door with satisfaction.

Somebody grabbed his arm.

"Hey! How'd it go?" Hoagie was waiting for him just outside, and so was Abby.

Wally's face was dark, that was words enough. "I didn't finish. I didn't even get through three of the four pages."

"That sucks man," said Hoagie. "That really sucks. It wasn't even your fault."

Even Abby put a hand on his shoulder. "In a totally unfair and unreasonable situation, you did your best, Wally. I swear, sometimes it's like the adults are out to get us…"

Wally was exhausted. He'd had a late night, hurt somebody he cared about, experienced a radical sugar high and a radical sugar crash, failed his math test, and even been betrayed by his ex-friend Bruce in the process.

"Oh right, what happened to Bruce? Did you figure out who punched him?"

Abby and Hoagie looked at each other and smiled.

"C'mon, let's go sit down somewhere for break and we'll tell you the whole story."

Wally nodded. If he only had a few moments left to savor before being flunked out of high school, he'd want to spend it with his friends, his real friends.

* * *

Sunlight speckled the ground. Wally was sitting on a stone bench, elbows draped over his spread knees, across from Hoagie and Abby, in the dappled shade of a small maple tree. It was a warm and beautiful day considering it was Wally's last before he was boarding a plane to a military school halfway across the globe.

Abby started explaining, leaning forward like she was about to tell a thrilling secret. "All right, so Abby was hanging out in the courtyard before school, lingering-"

"-spying-" interjected Hoagie.

"-no, _lingering_ , looking for suspicious activity. Lotta weird things been happening, with the green rain and the extra stars in the sky, you know, I got this the feeling that we're being watched. It's like the more we find out about the Kids Next Door, the more people are trying to sabotage us. Makes me think we're getting close to something big... Anyways, that's when I saw Ashley and Bruce arguing about something around the side of the school building. I don't trust either of them, so to get closer to them, I took a walk-"

"-went eavesdropping-"

"-no, _took a walk_ that happened to lead me to where I could hear them. Ashley was yelling at Bruce, and that's when I heard her say your name, Wally. Said she wanted you gone for good, and Bruce wasn't doing a good job of that."

"Me?" Wally thought. He really disliked Ashley, with her fake-smelling hair and her spitefulness. To him, she was nothing but a dirty blonde snake spitting acid on everyone around her. But why she wanted to get rid of him, he had no idea.

"This doesn't have anything to do with Kuki, does it?" he asked. Ashley was Kuki's friend, maybe she didn't want him getting close to her. _Not like that's a problem anymore_ , he reminded himself bitterly.

Abby chuckled. "I'll get to her in a sec. So that's when the bell rang and I had to leave. As I was going, they were still angry, but it sounded like they were plotting something. Ashley was very determined about it but Bruce looked scared."

"We didn't see Bruce again until science class," chimed in Hoagie. "And that's when we saw him running through the halls towards the principal's office with a huge black eye. Abby was genius, she figured that Ashley had probably punched him so that he could blame it on Wally and get him expelled!"

"But I needed proof that Ashley did it," said Abby, "so I sent Hoagie to the principal's office to stall while I tracked her down."

Hoagie grinned, very pleased with himself. He had bought Wally just enough time for Abby to come up with a plan.

"So I snuck out of class and found Ashley in the library," said Abby. "And after some encouragement-"

"-threats and blackmail-"

"no, _encouragement_ , she confessed that she hit Bruce to frame you, Wally. But of course she wasn't going to say that to the principal, and there were no witnesses. I had no proof, nobody willing to confess, and no time left.

That's when Kuki texted me. I tell you, bad news travels faster than a kid running after an ice cream truck. She heard what was happening and had an idea. It was a crazy one, and Abby told her that, but she insisted.

So then I ran to the principal's office to save your butt, Wally, you're very welcome, and Kuki showed up just after you left. And she said she did it. She confessed in a heartbeat to save you, Wally."

Wally's ears must've heard that wrong. Sweet, innocent Kuki, lying to the principal to protect him?

"The principal didn't believe her at first," said Hoagie. "I mean, who would? She's an angel who wouldn't hurt a fly. But she acted it out perfectly. Pretending like she was an innocent schoolgirl with a dark side. That she had a moment of hysteria, hit someone, and now felt so terrible she had to confess. Oscar-worthy performance, seriously."

"Damn," said Wally. _Damn_. Right when things couldn't get any crazier. "Where is she now?"

"She got sent home," said Abby. "Suspended for the rest of the day, nothing too bad. Even Bruce got a suspension for lying about it."

"I can't believe you guys did all of that for me," said Wally, heart sinking. "Even though it was all for nothing."

"Hey," said Abby. "That's what friends are for. We don't stop sticking up for each other no matter what."

Hoagie nodded and glanced over Wally's shoulder. "Uh Wally, I think Ms. Thompson's looking for you-"

Wally turned his head to see Ms. Thompson standing in the doorway to the building, motioning towards him. Her face was drawn taut, emotionless. She must've finished grading his test, and was now ready to tell him the official bad news.

He took a deep breath. Calm he was, despite everything. "It's been nice knowing you guys," he said glumly. "Bye, I guess." What else could he say? _Sorry for being such a screwup. Thanks for trying anyways. At least you're rid of me now._

Wally stood up. Hoagie flung his arms around him, bawling.

"I'll miss you, Wally! You're the closest thing I ever had to a best friend in this place! I hope they have Internet down in Australia…."

Abby pried Hoagie's arms off of Wally. "Let the boy go, Hoagie," she said softly, but even she looked downcast. "You're a good student, Wally. Don't let nobody tell you otherwise."

Wally almost said something, but his throat was feeling tight. He just looked at them one last time, standing side-by-side in flecks of sunshine underneath the maple tree, trying to photograph that moment in his mind, before he disappeared into the building, Ms. Thompson behind him.

* * *

He sat slouching low in his chair as though his back were melting. Ms. Thompson was still shuffling papers. She suddenly handed him a blank copy of the exam he just took.

"What is this? Are you letting me take it again?

"No," she said. "Your grade's already final. I want you to do the first question again. That's all."

"Why?" he said. "So you can humiliate me? Call me stupid again?"

She clucked her tongue. "Just do it."

He considered writing some kind of profanity, one last finger he could give to the authorities. But somehow, the thought of doing it wasn't as satisfying as it used to be.

He answered the question. The same way he'd answered it before, the way Abby had shown him.

Ms. Thompson sucked her teeth, watching him. "And the next question?"

"Look, spare me. Ok lady? I'm done playing your stupid games. I tried to play by the rules, and it didn't work. I still failed. Just tell me I'm done so this whole thing can stop. I know I only did like two thirds of that exam-"

"Seven-tenths," she said brusquely.

"What?"

"Seven-tenths is exactly how much you completed."

"So what?"

"So," said Ms. Thompson, interlacing her long and tanned fingers across her desk, their tips ending in heavy maroon nail polish. She narrowed her mouth. "So in your exam, you answered everything correctly. That means you got exactly 70%."

"So what?" he repeated, feeling like a broken record.

"..that's a passing grade, Wally."

"Since when?" he scoffed. "Aren't passing grades like twice that? Like, 120-buhmillion percent or something?"

Ms. Thompson shook her head. "Nope. 70% is passing."

Wally didn't say anything. He crossed his arms, trying to figure out if this was some awful prank.

"No joke, I swear," said Ms. Thompson, raising her hand. "You're not getting kicked out, you're not going to military school. You're still stuck with me. So I strongly suggest you continue tutoring with Abby, and you might have a chance yet to survive this horrible place."

He swore. Pure instinct. Out of shock.

Ms. Thompson didn't even scold him this time, she just gave a stifled chuckle. "Go on," she said, motioning towards the door. "Go celebrate with your friends."

Was she even smiling at him now? His mind was blank, except for a string of curse words running through his mind like ticker-tape. _Sh!_ he tried to tell his mind. _Keep it PG-13!_

"Um, ok," he finally managed. He got up. She didn't stop him. He walked out. Still alive. Still breathing. Still in high school.

Ms. Thompson watched him exit her classroom, he was still stunned by the news. She could even glimpse him talking to Hoagie and Abby just outside her window. Abby broke out into a grin and Hoagie started bawling and hugging Wally again, out of joy this time, and Wally was actually letting him.

She had been like that once, hadn't she? Had friends like that?

She looked down at her hands, her painted nails, still smooth, but with a hint of wrinkles, dark spots, veins threatening to pop out. She wasn't that young anymore.

And there was Wally, sheepishly grinning with his friends outside, not such a dumb and lazy kid after all. He could've been her. She could've been him.

And yet she'd gotten so caught up in trying to expel him and make his life miserable. _What went wrong?_ she asked herself, trying to remember her own childhood. _What happened to me when I grew up?_

* * *

 **~?x?x?x?~**

Spittle was flying out of Ashley's mouth again, spraying all over Bruce's face. He wiped it trembling with the back of his hand and winced as he accidentally touched his black eye.

"You failed, Bruce! You had _one_ job to do- get Wally expelled!" she yelled at him and threw her hands up in the air. He cowered, afraid that she was about to punch him in the face again.

"And _you_!" She turned, pointing an angry finger at David standing beside him, who tried to duck behind Bruce to shield himself. " _You_ let Nigel slip right through your fingers! I'm surrounded by idiots!"

Ashley inhaled sharply and shook out her dirty blonde hair, trying to calm down.

"What are we going to tell Infinity? We were supposed to make sure those brats from Sector V never talked to each other again, and now suddenly they've decided to become friends. This could ruin everything! What do they know? How much have they figured out?" She grabbed Bruce's shirt and shook him, even though he was shaking his head.

"I don't know!" he whimpered. "Lenny's the one who's been keeping an eye on Abby, he knows everything she does. Ask him!"

She dropped his shirt and he stepped back, relieved. "Where is that boy, anyways?" she said through gnashed teeth. Again, Bruce didn't know and shook his head.

"Constance? Any updates?" Ashley asked to the dumpy girl sitting in the armchair across from them. She was stroking a jar the size of a gallon in her lap, and she looked up with surprise through her oversized glasses.

"I don't know where Lenny is," she said, caressing the glass jar with her fingertips. "But I can tell you Hoagie and I are doing very well. We are in love and he will marry me and we will become adults and he will never be friends with that Abby Lincoln again."

Ashley made a face. Sometimes her sister could be a little creepy. "Constance, you can drop the act. You're only going out with him to break his friendship with Abby, remember? You don't actually have to marry him."

"But I love him," she said, her face as cold and motionless as a block of ice. "And I got him this glass jar which I will give to him at the party."

"And what exactly is the jar for? Nevermind, I don't care." Ashley flipped back her hair. "We have to be more careful, guys. This is going to be a big night and we have to make sure those brats don't ruin it for us. So unless you want the GKND to throw you into intergalactic jail for failing the mission-" she glared angrily at Bruce and David, "-we have to be watching those brats very, very carefully."

* * *

 **~1~ The Mansion**

Nigel wiped the sweat off his shiny bald head, avoiding the back part where he'd gotten hit by a lump of green rain called a S.N.O.T.-D.O.T. Its debilitating effects had worn off, but the back of his head was still hurting. He stopped walking.

The band of grungy children following him crashed into him before they realized he'd stopped. After their multi-day trip from the elementary school complex back to the suburbs, the children were scratched up, smeared with dirt, but more determined than ever before. Jessica had bandages tied around her feet to help with the blisters, Sammy's hair was a nest of twigs and weeds that a bird had possibly made its home, and even Raya had a long black bruise on her cheekbone from their encounter with the GKND. They peered eagerly around Nigel's legs to see why he was stopped.

They had finally reached Nigel's hometown in suburban Ohio, and directly in front of them was an enormous mansion complete with marbled ionic columns, their curled ends carrying a charcoal black Victorian roof glinting in the sun, all surrounded by vast landscaped gardens and perfectly square-trimmed hedges.

"The secret to destroying the GKND is hidden _here_?" asked Joey, adjusting his glasses to take in the glittering sumptuousness of this mansion. He had never seen anything so glamorous. "What kind of person lives in there?"

"My uncle," replied Nigel darkly. "Guess it makes sense that the ultimate weapon is hidden here- the GKND would never think to look for it in the home of my mortal enemy." He chuckled. "To think it's been under their noses this whole time…"

"All rightie then! Let's do this!" Raya marched proudly towards the big gate at the entrance but Nigel pulled her back by the scruff of her dress.

"Unless you want to get thrown into a delightfulization chamber, we can't just walk in there, Raya! There's 24/7 security guards, vicious watch dogs, and hidden surveillance cameras. It will take careful planning, weeks of preparations, we'll have to memorize the guard changing schedule-"

"Or we could go to the party!" Jessica grinned.

"Not now, Jessica, we can't be thinking about parties-" Nigel was deep in thought, but Jessica waved a piece of paper in front of his face.

He finally grabbed it and read it. _Party Tonight_ , it said, with a picture of a huge birthday cake. _It's going to be a delightful night to remember_. _Cake for all!_ And at the bottom, _Teenz only. No adults allowed._

"That's a good idea, Jessica," said Joey, and she beamed. "This party could be our best shot to infiltrate the mansion." He glanced up at Nigel through his thin black frames, and Nigel nodded in approval.

The party was the perfect cover to get in without suspicion.

And if Nigel was really lucky, maybe he'd finally see his old friends from Sector V at this party...

* * *

From inside the mansion, hiding behind a red velvet curtain, two fiery yellow eyes peered out at the kids outside the gate. Even though it had been three years since he last saw Nigel, he immediately recognized his nephew's bald head and black sunglasses. David may have let Nigel slip right through his incompetent fingers, but now he had that bald traitor exactly where he wanted him. Everything was going splendidly.

And the GKND were on their way.

* * *

 **~5~ Buzz**

The whole school was buzzing with the news of the party tonight at the Mansion Down the Lane.

Abby stood at her locker, shuffling around her books, but silently listening to the buzz.

The rumors floated down the hall- there'd be birthday cake and soda pop and anybody who was anybody was going… People were whispering, _I saw kegs getting delivered to the Mansion- really?- yeah, real soda, from Lime Ricky's_... A group of junior girls stood tittering by their lockers. They blushed furiously and giggled whenever a guy passed them in the hall, hoping he would stop and ask one of them to the party, and then looked disappointed whenever he walked straight by.

"Yo, BART!" A gruff voice shot through the hall like an arrow. A sandy-haired boy at the end of the corridor jumped and almost tripped over himself in surprise. He turned towards the sound of the voice.

"You, me, the party?" Virginia walked by him, thumbs sticking out of her dark black jacket with red stripes running down it like streaks of blood. She tilted her head up at him, grinning through her black eyeliner, showing off the thin black choker around her pale neck.

Bartie was so startled he hiccuped once. "* _Hic_!* Um yeah! Sure!" He grinned back, a bit sheepish.

"All right." Virginia walked on, but turned her head, her brown pigtails swishing past her jacket, to keep looking at him. She pointed at him. "See ya there, dude. Don't forget!"

He sent her back a thumbs up, grinning. The group of junior girls scowled amongst themselves and gave Virginia the stink eye before going back to flipping their bleach-blonde hair and giggling at the other guys in the hall.

Abby sighed. She'd heard enough. It all just kept reminding her of her feelings for Hoagie- and the unfortunate fact that he was already going to the party with Creepy Constance.

The only reason she was still going was because she was on the trail of another Kids Next Door artifact, a big one, and she had discovered several clues leading to the Mansion Down the Lane. The party would be a great excuse to do some sleuthing. But, somehow the idea of doing it on her own wasn't as exciting as it used to be. It would be so much more fun with Hoagie.

Someone yelled in the halls, jarring Abby out of her thoughts.

"It's all so dumb anyways, isn't it!" Fanny was charging down the hall, furiously slamming her hands against lockers, with her friend Rachel running behind her, trying to keep up. Fanny yelled, "Who says you need a date to be cool? Boys are stupid!" She was fuming, her red hair sticking out all over the place.

"I'm sorry-" said Rachel, trying to console her. "It sucks that every guy you've asked so far has turned you down-"

The two girls paused by the lockers, and Abby could hear sniffling. Rachel was now hugging Fanny, whose head was bent over. The redhead sniffed and wiped her face with her sleeve.

"Whoa, Fan-" said somebody. Fanny glanced up at the voice; it was a guy wearing a beat-up green army jacket and a dull beanie over tufts of coal-black hair.

"What are you staring at, jerkface!?" she snapped at him, yelling through her tears. "Coming to make fun of me again? About how I can't get a date?"

The boy opened and closed his mouth with uncertainty, then pulled his face into a glower and walked away.

"That's right, Patton. Keep walking!" she shouted.

He walked on testily, paused to turn back and glance at her over his shoulder, then continued brooding down the hall, hands jammed angrily into pockets, kicking up dust.

Abby's phone buzzed. It was Hoagie, asking Abby what he should wear to the party.

 _I think I should wear a bow tie but Wally's here telling me bow ties are dumb but I told him that he's wrong because Dr. Time-Space and the Continuums wear bow ties all the time and he's definitely the coolest guy ever! Abby what do you think_

Her phone buzzed again. This text was from Kuki, asking whether Abby was going to the party.

 _Hey~ are you going to the party? Is Wally going? Should I go too?_

Abby's phone buzzed a third time and it was from Hoagie again, but this time it was Wally who'd sent the message.

 _hey this is wally on hoagie's phone cuz mine's still broken. abs whatever u do dont let me drink any soda tonite ok im done with that stuff oh and tell hoagie bow ties are dumb_

Abby chuckled to herself. When did she become the leader of this ragtag group of teenagers? She started a group text with Hoagie and Kuki. She typed,

 _Everyone's going. Meet at the party at 8._

She paused, thought for a second, then added,

 _Bow ties are cool._

She smiled and hit send.

Her phone buzzed one last time but it was from an unknown number.

 _Be careful tonight, nothing is as it seems. Party's a trap. Keep your eyes open and don't give up on your research._

Abby sucked in her breath. Who could've sent this? She called the number back, but it was already disconnected. Whatever was going on, she was now certain that she was getting close to something big concerning the Kids Next Door. Something really, really big.

* * *

AN: Next stop- Party town!

Unfortunately (well fortunately for me ;P) I'm going on vacation for the next 2 weeks! I might not have a computer so hang in there for the BIG FINALE!


	7. Chapter 7 Intentions

**Chapter 7. Intentions**

* * *

 **~3~ A Heart-shaped Box of Sisterly Love**

Kuki's stomach was in all kinds of knots. She'd get to see Wally again at the party tonight, but she was so nervous. Did he really mean it when he said their friendship, their...whatever they had, was over? Did he even want to see her again? Did he know that she was lying here, on her bed, clutching his jacket that she never returned, in total agony, thinking about him all the time? She sighed. Even if he didn't care about her the same way she cared about him, at least he didn't get kicked out of school and sent to military school.

She groaned to herself, and then there came a loud pounding on her wall.

"Can you quit moaning about him?" yelled her sister through the wall. "That's all you ever do! Mope, mope, mope!"

"Shut up, Mushi!" Kuki yelled back. "Let me whine in peace!"

There was a thud, angry footfalls, and then Kuki's bedroom door slammed open.

A tiny girl with choppy purple streaks in her hair, thick dark makeup around her eyes, and ripped black leggings stood glaring at Kuki from the doorway, like a queen scowling down upon a peasant.

"Your constant complaining is making it _really_ hard for me to plan my world domination," Mushi said furiously. "How I am supposed to plot revenge on every living thing when you're always whining about that blockhead?!"

"He's not a blockhead!" replied Kuki crossly.

"Well, until he's honest about his feelings for you, _yeah_ , he is!"

Kuki opened her mouth angrily but they were interrupted by a knock at the front door. Kuki and Mushi looked at each other and frowned. Their parents were never home that early.

Kuki slipped off her bed and tiptoed over to the door, wearing nothing but an old green jumper she had and some black leggings. She recognized the face on the other side of the peephole and slowly opened the door.

Ace was leaning on the door frame, one hand tucked into his brown leather jacket, the other running through his gelled hair. His sunglasses glinted at Kuki.

"Hey Cookie," he grinned at her, and sauntered into her house before she'd even gotten the chance to invite him in. The smell of cinnamon wafted over her as he walked past. Kuki followed him towards the living room, glancing over at Mushi who was spying on them from the hall.

Mushi glared at Kuki and Kuki shrugged her shoulders at her in an _I-don't-know-he-just-walked-in!_ gesture.

"Cute," said Ace, holding up a picture of Kuki from when she was ten. In the photo, she was hugging a rainbow monkey, wearing a green sweater that was much too big for her, and she was grinning ear-to-ear.

"Hey!" said Kuki cheerfully, trying to hide how flustered she felt. "What are you doing here…?"

"Come sit," said Ace, running a hand down Kuki's arm and letting it catch her fingers. Kuki felt her face warm. He led her to the couch and they sat down.

"You weren't at school," he said. "I heard you'd gotten suspended. So I wanted to make sure you were all right-" He glanced at Kuki, and she fidgeted a little in her green sweater, doing her best to smile pleasantly at him. "-and to give you this."

He handed her a shiny heart-shaped box of chocolates. She sat there, awkwardly holding the chocolates, and her polite smile faltered. Suddenly this all felt so wrong, and she didn't want any of it. She didn't want these chocolates. She didn't want to be with Ace.

"Oh, um. Ace," she said. "Thanks, but I don't know…"

"Sh," he said, holding a finger to her lips. "You can save it for the party." He moved his finger away from her mouth, trailing her cheek until he cupped her chin, pulling her face towards his.

"STOP!" yelled Mushi, who'd jumped out of the hallway in front of them. "Don't do it, Kuki! He's a… a Don Juan! I saw him with _two_ of those heart-shaped boxes at school today, and he gave one of them to that girl news anchor from the school news announcements! He's playing you!"

"It's true," shrugged Ace, looking from Mushi to Kuki, not embarrassed at all to admit it. "I gave one to the other girl, too. You know, where I'm from, when three beautiful people get together we call it a-"

"Ok," said Kuki, standing up so quickly that the box of chocolates tumbled back onto Ace's lap. "I think we're good here. Thanks for stopping by, Ace. Bye!"

He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair again, but still grinned at her with his impeccable dimples on his way to the door. "Well all right. But you know where to find me tonight, Cookie," he said as Mushi shooed him out the door.

"Go on! Get! She's already got a blockhead in her life!" Mushi slammed the door after Ace angrily.

"Oh wait, one more thing-"

Mushi opened the door again and grabbed the box of chocolates back from Ace's hands. "Thanks loser. Don't bother my sister anymore," she said, and slammed the door again, locking it this time.

"What?" said Mushi, scowling as Kuki stared at her. "I'm not sharing these chocolates with you-"

"Oh no, I don't care about that," said Kuki. "It's just that... you were looking out for me! That was super sweet of you. Thanks, sis!"

Kuki beamed and hugged Mushi tightly as her kid sister scowled, and that's when Kuki noticed something dangling around Mushi's neck. "Wait, what's that?" she asked, letting go. It was unlike any of her sister's other necklaces, which were normally black or spiky or covered in skulls, or all three. But this necklace had a single creamy white shell hanging on it. "Who gave you that shell necklace?"

Mushi turned violent red. "That's none of your business!" she yelled, and ran away to her room.

Kuki giggled softly, and decided that from now on, she'd try to be a little bit quieter when she was agonizing about Wally to herself in her room.

* * *

 **~5x2x4x3~ Outside**

Outside, the night air was cooling, but inside, the party was firing up. Light spilled out from the windows into the dark gray twilight, the pounding music was muffled and intermingled with voices and shrieks of laughter.

Outside, Abby Lincoln leaned with her back against a pillar, checking her phone, but secretly scouting the partygoers from under the brim of her hat. She hadn't bothered to dress up, she was still wearing the same blue midriff-baring shirt she always wore, and somehow still managed to look cooler than all the other girls arriving in their skintight sparkly dresses.

Hoagie and Wally were the next to arrive, together, arguing about something. Wally's hair looked semi-tousled, as though he'd tried to comb it but lazily given up halfway. Over his bright blue-collared shirt, Hoagie was wearing a bow tie with the periodic table of elements on it, and it was the dorkiest thing Abby had ever seen.

"-too cool for me, anyways, so you can forget it," Hoagie was saying with exasperation. "And stop trying to change the subject! You gotta figure out exactly what you're going to say when you see her so you don't blow it-"

"Oh hey! There's Abby." Wally pointed over at her and the two teens walked over.

"Hey!" Hoagie was grinning a stupid grin at her again.

"Nice bowtie," she said, just barely glancing up at him. Hoagie grinned even wider.

"Yeah? See! I knew you'd like it!" Hoagie looked very pleased with himself. Wally hit Hoagie's arm with the back of his hand and gave him a look, tilting his head in Abby's direction, but Hoagie decided to ignore this.

Wally looked back at Abby.

"So, um… where's Kuki?" he asked and stuck his hands into his pockets, trying to look casual.

This time it was Hoagie who hit Wally's arm, smirking.

"Behind you," Abby nodded over the boys' shoulders, and Wally instantly spun around towards the girl approaching them.

Kuki's shoulders glistened ivory in the moonlight, the soft green fabric of her dress hanging off her shoulders, falling gracefully over her slender figure and black tights ending in petite green flats, silky black hair framing her smile outlined in bubblegum pink lip gloss, she was glowing like a star above the earth, lightly tiptoeing up the steps towards the mansion.

Wally couldn't stop staring at her the whole time floating towards them as though she was being carried in on a breeze, until she finally reached them and looked up at their faces, smiling radiantly. The emotions of their last conversation came flooding back to him, like a gut punch of feelings, and he dropped his gaze to his shoes. He had said some pretty means things to her when they last spoke.

"Hi everyone! Hi Wally!" she smiled, but her heart was thudding so hard it hurt.

"Hey." He didn't look up. He stared at the ground, his bangs covering his face.

Kuki looked shyly at him, his maize-colored hair ruffled by the breeze, hands jammed into pockets, green eyes flickering underneath his bangs.

"You're here!" she said.

"Yeah."

"..."

"uh-"

"..."

"- you shouldn't have done that for me." Wally scowled at the ground. How could she have sacrificed herself like that for him? He didn't deserve it.

"Done what? Oh, that!" Kuki bit her lip nervously. He was talking about how she'd taken the blame for him to save him from suspension. "Well, I, I mean- I- I wanted to..." She didn't know what to say. Even though she still cared for him, it was clear he still didn't want to be around her. She was beginning to regret showing up to this party.

"I never asked you to-" Wally snapped but stopped when Hoagie bumped him sharply. "I mean, thanks, I guess," Wally finally managed to blurt, though it also came out angrily.

They fell silent. A mix of awkwardness and disappointment hung between them like a thick cloud, and neither knew what to say to cut through it.

"Well then." Abby broke the silence and lifted herself up from the pillar she was leaning on and pulled out something blue from her pocket. "Here's the situation, guys." She glanced briefly at the mansion behind them, windows glowing, music thumping, just to make sure nobody was watching them. She first showed them the text she got earlier, warning her about the party, and the three teens read it and looked around at each other with worried faces.

Abby looked grave. "Turns out, this party is a trap. And so far, all we know is that two of the people hosting this party, Bruce and Ashley, are trying to sabotage us. I don't know why, but this means we need to be very careful until we figure out what they're up to.

Luckily, I found this on one of my secret missions. I got a tip on this smarmy fellow called Mr. Fizz, and I nabbed it from him."

Abby unfolded a neon blue piece of paper that seemed to glow in the twilight. It looked like a map, but it was written in a strange language.

Kuki squinted at it. "What does it say? I can't read these symbols. They're like alien or something!"

Abby shook her head. "Abby can't read it either. But, it looks like it's a map to a secret location in the mansion. I bet you anything they're hiding something. Something big, something that could answer all our questions about the Kids Next Door, something that could tell us who we used to be, and who we are meant to be. And we better find it before it's too late."

She rolled the map back up into her pocket. "Ok, here's the plan guys. Wally, Kuki, why don't the two of you team up? On the map, there's a mysterious marking on the far side of the ballroom, but I don't know what it means. Can you guys go together to find out what it is?" She peeked out from under her cap at Wally and Kuki, watching them carefully.

"Ooh a mission! In the ballroom! Does that mean we have to go dancing?" squealed Kuki, grabbing Wally's arm.

Wally frowned at her. "Oi, didn't you hear what Abby said? The party's a trap! We don't have time for dancing, blech! We gotta keep our eyes open."

"Oh, _okay_ , Mr. Party-pooper," Kuki rolled her eyes. "Well? C'mon! You heard Abby, we're on a mission!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. Wally turned pink and grumbled loudly but let himself get dragged along.

Abby watched them banter and smirked to herself.

"All right, Hoagie, why don't you and I-"

But Hoagie had turned around and was waving to someone inside the house.

"Yoohoo! Hey! Constance!" He started wandering towards the party and looked over his shoulder at Abby. "I'm just gonna go say hi, be back in a sec-"

He disappeared, leaving Abby alone outside.

"...or just Abby will keep an eye out for suspicious activity, all by her lonesome…"

She sighed and opened the doors to the warm, blazing, thumping party.

Outside, the stars shuddered in the cold black sky, some of them were growing larger and weren't stars at all, and then light raindrops began pattering on the mansion and its gardens, even though there was not a cloud in sight.

Inside, the party raged.

* * *

 **~1~ The Kids Are All Right**

Nigel and the five children gathered in a circle in the grassy hills behind the mansion, the light of the party spilling out below them. It had barely been a few days since he had run away and met these vigilantes, but Nigel felt like he could trust this raggedy group of children. They were a lot tougher than he expected.

The strangest part about all of this, was that until a few days ago, Nigel had forgotten all about children. It was hard to explain- it was as if he was so busy growing up, that he had forgotten all about his childhood. Plus, with all the kids under 13 locked up and getting tortured in boarding schools, he didn't realize how bad the situation had gotten until the vigilantes told him about it.

 _Is this what it means to grow up?_ Nigel wondered. _The second you forget about your childhood is the second you become an adult._

This reminded him of his own parents, who still didn't seem to notice that Nigel had run away from home.

Nigel knew one thing for certain. There was something horribly wrong with adults in this world. He didn't know how to fix that, but at least he start with these five kids.

"If we want to sneak into this party, we have to blend in and pretend to know what we're doing there," said Joey, twirling his staff and scratching his chin. "So tell us, Nigel, what exactly is a party? Is it like the torture dungeon at boarding school?"

"Absolutely not!" explained Nigel. "A party a place you go with your friends to have fun."

"What's _fun_?" asked Jessica skeptically, clutching her rabbit tightly to her faded pink dress. "Is it when they cancel sleep time and force you to make cottage cheese throughout the entire night?"

"Or when they serve cold asparagus for breakfast again?" asked Raya, sticking out a pick tongue and shuddering disgustedly.

"Or when they tell you to alphabetize all the numbers from one to a buhmillion by hand?" asked Sammy.

"No, that's the opposite of fun! Just imagine, what if you had the freedom to do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted? No bedtime, no work, no making cottage cheese, just eating whatever you want, playing any game you want, hanging out with your friends whenever you want-" he could see the children's faces glowing and felt like he was finally getting to them.

"That's the freedom the Kids Next Door used to fight for. So that kids could be free, have fun, and party!"

Nigel looked around at the five faces grinning at him and felt a flicker of hope. Did they finally understand what it meant to be a kid? Did they finally understand what the Kids Next Door used to fight for?

Jackson excitedly pulled out a match and pointed at the mansion.

" _Boom_ ," he whispered, eyes glowing under the brim of his beanie.

"No!" Nigel dropped his face into his palm. So close, and yet, so far. "We want to infiltrate the party, not burn it down!"

Joey shrugged apologetically. "Maybe we can focus on the mission for now, and later you can teach us what the Kids Next Door fights for."

Nigel nodded curtly. Below them was a mansion full of teenagers who didn't know the trap they were falling into, and everywhere else there were millions of children who were imprisoned to make cottage cheese night and day. And Nigel was the only person who knew how to save everyone.

"Listen up, gang. Here's where we need to go…"

* * *

 **~3x4~ Inside Pt. I**

The mansion was crowded with teenage bodies, who were sugar-hyped and chattier than usual, all bumping together, laughing loudly over the thud of the music, pressed up close to each other, sweaty with excitement, bouncing to the beat. Kuki squeezed through the crowd, pulling Wally through by his hand.

People were chattering, and Wally caught snippets as he navigated the crowd.

"I hear there's gonna be birthday cake later-"

"-why were we never invited over before? It's a MANSION!"

"So-da! So-da! Sooooood- _urp_!" burped someone into his ear.

And Wally wrinkled his nose as that familiar sickly-sweet scent washed over him, heavy on the breath of a clearly sugar-high teenager. Ugh, not tonight. It took all his willpower not to retch.

They finally made it to the ballroom, but it was just as jam-packed with flailing bodies. On the far side of the room was a giant bookcase, shelves full of mysterious tomes. If there was anything secret about this room, it would have to be on that bookcase. They took one step into the mass of dancers to cross the room and were immediately pushed out by the crowd of dancing teenagers.

"Hmm," said Kuki, looking slyly at Wally. "The only way we're going to make it across to the bookcase is if we-"

"Nu-uh!" said Wally, suddenly feeling déjà vu. "I am _not_ dancing with you!" And he crossed his arms sullenly. He was not about to make a fool of himself on the dance floor.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a certain Latino boy in sunglasses standing a few feet behind Kuki, talking to a redheaded girl. Ace glanced up and saw Kuki, then grinned, slicked back his hair, and began walking towards them.

"You know, on second thought, let's dance." Wally hastily uncrossed his arms and tugged Kuki's elbow towards the dance floor, whisking her away before Ace had a chance to say hello.

Kuki giggled and Wally felt his cheeks grow hot as he glared at her.

She lifted her hands around his neck and held them there; he jammed his into his hoodie pockets.

"Wally!" she scolded.

"... _fine_." He roughly pulled out his hands and grabbed her waist. He was, if this was even possible, glowering even more now.

They glided across the dance floor, nobody forcing them out this time, while Kuki tried to smile pleasantly and Wally muttered curse words under his breath.

"This is so stupid. I can't believe we have to do this. Are we there yet? I can't take it any- " Wally's back bumped against something and he looked startled. It was the bookcase. "Oh, we're already here…"

"See? That wasn't so bad," she huffed, letting go of him, and Wally felt a twinge of something in his stomach as she slipped out of his grasp, as though he didn't want her to let go.

* * *

 **~2x5~ Inside Pt. II**

Abby made a face. The soda at the party wasn't even that good, it was too sweet and it burned unpleasantly as it went down. But as long as it was fizzy and full of sugar, people at the party would drink it. They didn't know any better, but Abby did.

She leaned against a keg, bored, having seen absolutely nothing out of the ordinary in the past hour, unless you counted teenagers stumbling around with lampshades on their heads, Fanny yelling at everyone dramatically before bursting into tears, or Virginia pulling along a skittish Bartie, looking for an empty room. Not even Bruce or Ashley were seen lurking around, but that's when something strange caught her eye.

From underneath the snacks table, she saw a hand reach up, grab a bowl of chips, and then disappear below the tablecloth again.

"Who-?" She shook her head, leaned down, and peeked under the table to find Hoagie Gilligan curled up underneath, munching on chips and crackers. He yelped.

"Abby!" he whispered loudly. "Oh, thank god it's you. You haven't seen Constance around, have you? Get in here before she sees us!"

He pulled her under and lowered the tablecloth to cover them.

"Are you hiding from Constance?"

"No! I mean, yes!" he said with a mouthful of chips. "You were right about her being creepy, Abby. She- she scares me. She took me to her room and she had posters of adults all over her room. And no, I don't mean like celebrities, I mean like random people in business suits, holding briefcases, doing their taxes, eating vegetables. Who has posters of stuff like that hanging in their room? And then she tried to give me an empty jar. And I was like, 'why are you giving me an empty jar?' And she's like, 'So we can start a collection together,' and I'm like, 'a collection of _what_?'... And that's when she showed me her own jar full of _toenail clippings_." Hoagie shuddered. "So I told her it wasn't working out for me and I ran out of the room."

Abby rolled backwards, snorting with laughter and shaking her head. She was practically ecstatic. "Hoagie, this is the part where Abby says I told you so! What are you still doing here, if you're trying to run away from Constance?"

"Uh, I'm here for the free food, obviously?" He scarfed down a plate of mini chili dogs. "Wow, these are so good, I've had like 16 of these-"

"So you and Constance, that's over? There's nothing going on between you?"

Hoagie fervently shook his head. "No way, she was too weird, even for my standards! I should've listened to you Abby, you were right all along. I would've…I would've... why are you looking at me like that?"

Abby was back to her half-smile, smirking as though Hoagie had just told her a juicy secret. But he was still very confused. She moved towards him. One of her hands crept forward and rested its fingers over Hoagie's.

"Hoagie," she said, still grinning boldly, and he realized he had forgotten how to breathe as he watched her approach. "Do you want to know what a _real_ kiss feels like?"

Her other fingers grabbed his shirt collar just above his bowtie and pulled him in slowly.

* * *

 **~3x4~ Inside Pt. III**

Kuki and Wally had made it to the far side of the ballroom, but were now stuck.

"Well, the map led us here, but I have no idea what we're looking for! It's all just books!" Kuki browsed the shelves and saw nothing but the most boring titles imaginable. _Business Analytics in the 1700s, 101 Ways to Make Your Tax Income Returns Take Longer, A Detailed History of Suit Pants_ … It seemed hopeless.

"Well, if I was gonna hide something from children, I would put it where no kid could reach it." Wally pointed up at a lone novel sitting on the top shelf. Standing on his tiptoes, Wally could just reach it, and from there he wiggled out the book (called _Flaming Patriarchs: A Collection of Biographies_ ) as far as it would go.

There was a dull grinding noise, and the bookcase slid backwards just far enough to reveal a narrow, dark passageway to the right.

Kuki squealed and threw her arms around Wally. "Ohmigosh, that was so brilliant, Wally! Let's go tell Abby and Hoagie!"

He squirmed out of her grasp. "All right! You can let me go, I've had enough of that stupid dance, and now this-" he said, but that was evidently the wrong to say because tears welled in her eyes and she stamped her foot angrily.

"Oh come on! I know how you really feel about me, you already proved you don't care for me, but it can't be that bad just _being_ around me," Kuki screwed up her face and glared at him.

"No, it's- I mean- I just…" Wally desperately tried and failed to find the words he was looking for. That familiar feeling was rising within in, that feeling that he had something important to say but he couldn't remember it.

"Well, if you have nothing to say, let's just go. Just because we're on a mission doesn't mean we have to talk."

"Fine." scowled Wally.

" _Fine_."

They glared angrily at each other when suddenly a chilling ensemble of voices cut through the house.

"Hello, teenagers." The voices were icy, eerily monotone, and broadcasting throughout the mansion on speaker. Wally instinctively held out an arm to block Kuki from the mysterious voices and she instinctively grabbed onto his hoodie.

"We hope you have been enjoying our birthday party this evening. Now, come join us in the dining room where we will be serving our delicious birthday cake."

Kuki squealed. "Oooh, that sounds so good, let's go eat cake!"

She started to tug on Wally's arm but he held her back, his brow furrowed.

"Nah, I got a bad feeling about this. I think we should find Abby first…"

And so while the rest of the teenagers swarmed towards the dining room, eagerly chatting about cake, Wally and Kuki took off towards the living room to find Abby, just barely missing the bald boy and the five children running through the crowd towards the far side of the ballroom.

* * *

 **~2x3x4x5~ Inside Pt. IV**

Kuki and Wally ran into the living room, now almost empty as all the teenagers flocked towards the dining room, where Kuki squealed as they spotted Abby and Hoagie crawling out from underneath a table, looking a bit disheveled.

"Well, nothing suspicious under _that_ table," said Abby, quickly adjusting her cap.

"Nice," said Hoagie woozily.

"Did you hear about the cake?" Wally asked them anxiously. "We heard some rumors on the way here that it's going to be huge and delicious, and that they want everyone to be there." He paused, frowning. "There was also a rumor about some people making out underneath the table… You didn't see them while you were down there, did you?"

Abby was trying her best not to smile. "Nope, can't say that we saw anybody else down there."

Hoagie glanced at Abby with a sly grin. "I dunno, maybe we should go back down there and, uh, look for them some more?"

She had to stifle a laugh. "Later," Abby whispered to him.

Kuki was giggling and Wally was suddenly feeling very confused.

"I think they're hiding something," he whispered to Kuki and she just giggled in reply.

And with that, Abby loudly cleared her throat. "Ok, now it's seriously time to focus, guys. This has to be the trap that I was warned about, and I'm almost certain that the cake is a lie. We're not going anywhere near that dining room… Kuki, Wally, find anything useful?"

They told her about the secret passageway, and Abby nodded, pleased. It was decided that they would check it out and see where it led.

And so stealthily, the four friends made their way back to the ballroom and ducked into the secret tunnel.

And meanwhile, just about every other teenager was packed into the dining room, where its two big, oaken doors swung shut behind them with a heavy, ominous thud.

* * *

WOW thanks for bearing with me through all this! Honestly YOU, yes YOU, dear reader, are the reason I keep doing this! I love getting your feedback, it keeps me going :D :D :D

Last few chapters coming up, so hang in there!


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